13 and depressed

I am so depressed. I dont want to be 10 feet close to my dad. He is a drunk and he wont stop calling me names, cursing, and even sometimes hitting. And that doesnt help my fear of men because of me being molested twice by family members, my grandfather at age 10 and my cousin at age 6. i am always worried when i leave to go hang out with some friends that my dad is going to  hurt my mom or brother. And if anything happened to them while i was gone i know i would feel so guilty. I just want my dad to leave, i was doing fine for awhile untill he kept bringing up what happened to me. My granparents call me a lier about what happened with my cousin. (those were differnt grandparents from the one who molested me) Even my dad doesnt believe me about my cousin. No one really ever said anything about my grandfather, but im persuing to sew him for all the trouble he put me through. Sometimes i just want to die, but i dont have the courage to do anythign about it. I need someone to talk to.....

[Punky6786]

Hey, I am 24, but when I was 13 I felt the same thing. I was molested by my moms boyfriend. I am here if you need to talk. About anything. I don't judge and I will listen. I wanna help. My email is ***@**** free to email me.

[Punky6786]

Sorry message me on here if you'd like.

[MMahon]

You should ask to speak to a counselor at school and tell them everything you told us here.
They may help counsel with what you are going thru and may also involve local family services to provide help as well with your family situation.

[MorganHeartsMed]

Thanks. And im sorry for what you went through too. I would like talking with you.

[MorganHeartsMed]

I did. They did nothing what---so---ever.

[Punky6786]

I know how that feels, I told my mom and she took his side. It made me feel like I wasn't important and worthless in her eyes, I still feel that way with her. Send me a message on here, Im here for you.

[patient49]

Are you getting the support you need on here? It is a great place, and you may have to post again at another time to find different people on here, like every week or two, or whenever you need some help, and want someone to talk to. People on here have helped me tremendously! You also can post on the anxiety forum, as it is more popular. And anxiety and depression often go hand-in-hand! So it would be appropriate if you didn't have anxiety!

But you look good, and remember, you can only do your best, and it sounds like you are, and you have a good outlook on your situation. Things will get better!! Can you talk with a school counselor? If they are not helping you, then ask them to refer you to another counselor, so that you can find someone you can rely on and talk with regularly. But keep coming here too!!

:)

Ash

[MorganHeartsMed]

Thanks. And-i have been getting alot of support
Everyone has been so nice, and giving.
It has helped. (:

[patient49]

Hey~ thanks for the response. I'm glad to hear you are getting support! Feel free to write to me any time if you ever want! So I take it you are doing alright??  :)

[MorganHeartsMed]

I was, but hten i sorda had a brake down today, if anyone like raised there voice, just a little i freaked out on them.
And THEN my mom was actin all pissy and made me go get meds for depression....
but i refuse to take meds cause of what happened to me (rape...) involved meds...
yeaah.......
{sorry for rambling}

[patient49]

Don't be sorry, you are not rambling! It is nice to hear from you :)

so are you feeling better?

Do you have friends that you can talk with, get support from, and be happy with? I know that there are a lot of girls your age around here in VT that also feel depressed about their family life and all. Actually, a lot of people are depressed, unhappy and dysfunctional. But being a nice girl like yourself you should definately find some good friends who can relate to you and understand. And you can be there for your family at the same time.. your younger brother and mom and so on!

I don't think meds are the solution. Love is the solution. Love and understanding, and effort :)  Do you have someone in your life that you can go to and talk with, that you like?

Well maybe it is good to release and "freak out" on family once and a while, so they can be more understanding. It shows you are affected by it, which is good. But anyway, let me know how you are doing!  

:)  Ash

[MorganHeartsMed]

Yeah i have alot of friends who are going through the same thing, and there alott of help.  So there good with that, and i have been doing good for now. and thanks for talking to me i really appreciate it !

[patient49]

:) Yeah anytime!  I'm glad to talk with you!

[cheshchesh819]

what you have been through and are goung through is terrible,i was never mollestered but my father was a drunk and always used to take it out on me by hitting or shouting calling me names,and like you i stuck it out to be there for my mum and 4 sisters,but in the end my mother left and i was left holding the children,so i got into a row with my dad one night after he had been out drinking and all my fears dissappeared and i told him what a **** dad he had been for years and that if he didnt stop being so horrible i would phone the police on him,it seemed to work he never touched me again,he went out to work and i looked after the kids and went to school myself,i am 38 now with my own family and things are ok,my point here is that you sound like a very mature and strong girl so keep going girl you will get through this.

[MorganHeartsMed]

Im sorry for what you had to go through. But i have told my dad wat an *** he is, and how much he is hurting me. i also called the police. yet nothing ever happened/ I geuss it was just my luck to get a police man who didnt care. But i knoe i will make it through , all you people have been so nice to me!