27 years of depression

Ive been diagnosed as manic depressive, and was on medication for 27 years, im going to be 42, my doctor had me on every drug for depression, that you could name, and HE just recently committed suicide, ive been off medication for close to 6 years, i just couldnt take the side effects the weight gain and the ups and downs of drugs that altered the way i think, i just take it one day at a time although i do drink and take vicodin, which im tryin to quit..as we speak, i can either cover the symptoms of depression with drinking or drugs or just try to be a good role model for my kids and hope my husband changes his mind about leaving me or hes gona find me ODd its scary depression  is my lifelong partner, i guess

[Venora Moonwind]

You dont have to have depression and if you are bi polar you need to be treated for the manic and the depression. I  am sorry about  your doc. but you should find a new one and get a therapist. I am bi poalr and I take celexana zyprexa for the manic and the depression. I ve been stable for 7 years. see about the therapist It does wonders for you.
Love Venora

[jo929]

find another dr also it does not sound like you care about whether your children find you od what would they think of mom you really should try to think of your childrens feelings and get help it seems as if you want to stay this way and alcohol will just make it worse i feel for you but there is help out there if you will just reach out and take it . if your husband leaves let him go you have the children get into a group therapy and beat this depression i wish you lots of luck  jo

[Dustypa]

i do care and have had depression for so long, id never leave my kids, But i cant find a doctor that will take my depression seriously, i have changed doctors about 5 times, because they got so angry and pointing fingers at me like ive caused all this, depression happens to run in my family, and it always went away at a certain age, just mine hasnt... believe me IM ONLY HERE BECAUSE I HAVE KIDS..other wise i wouldve ended this MISERY long ago..i JUST live with it...and as far as therapy...ha...the only place to go here where i live is Mental health and they wanted me on radical treatment..Ummm i was raising my 3 kids alone...their is no radical anything no choices no saying no..i still had to work and finding somone to watch 3 kids every day..thats not fair to them or i couldnt even ask that of anyone...im just saying taking antidression drugs isnt always the answer, some people do help them selves,