Hello, I am sad to hear that you are having a hard time coping with these depression feelings. Have you been depressed for a long time? Are there specific reasons which cause you to go into a depressed state?
No. You are not an alcoholic but you are beginning to form an unhealthy pattern of using alcohol to ease the pain. Its quite common and very unhealthy. Many persons use alcohol to deal with worries or at least put it on the back burner for that particular moment, it gives the illusion that the situation is solved or it gives false hope that you need not worry. And while this seems magical and magnificent, it leads to grave trouble such as...alcoholism, being an alcoholic. This is how plenty people end up becoming alcoholics, they start out small, one or two drinks when they get stressed and pretty soon one or two drinks turn into three and four and so on. They find it hard to stop as they become addicted to the FEELING, the feeling of high, that all is right in the world. For you, the risk is higher as genetics are not in your favour right now.
Try alternative methods for dealing with your depression: therapy, medication, relaxation techniques which include a variety of activities. You may also join a club or sport, losing yourself in a hobby can be one of the greatest feelings you can get. You feel a sense of belonging as you are in the company of people who enjoy what you enjoy. Also doing something you are good at gives you the feeling of pride and accomplishment.
Please take good care.
Anna
Hi.......you're not an alcoholic, but due to your family history it's best that you avoid alcohol completely. Alcohol makes us numb and this is why you felt better, but where the problem lies is in sobering up to reality and having to deal with it all...so you drink again to escape. This is how we become an alcoholic. But you're not escaping at all, you're putting yourself in a downward spiral that will have you living your life from the bottom of a bottle with far worse issues than you have now...and it happens very quickly. If you haven't sought help for your depression please do so. There is so much help for you, and you will feel so much better. You've seen so much with alcohol and now maybe you have a better understanding of how drinking can spiral out of control very easily and quickly. Keep that promise to yourself and seek professional help to avoid turning to alcohol. You're stronger than you know and it's wonderful that you see where this could lead, fortunately you can turn it right around. We're always here for you, and I wish you all the best!.