Am I bipolar or do I just have a depression issue?

[Briaa]

Well I haven't been feeling depressed really but I remember from my past that I was severely depressed and insecure about myself and sometimes I would try to be happy and tell myself I was just fine and I would be happy for just a moment but then the negative thoughts came back to me and I do usually ponder on negative things that happen to me or just what I think about myself. This all started because I was insecure about minor things that I have or thought I had and I do realize now that I'm not even ugly and that I was going insane about things that don't look wrong at all and I don't hallucinate at all. I know I sound crazy and a bit stupid but I have a hard time letting go of bad stuff. It's not that I like negativity but for some reason I obsess over it too much because I care and I get very paranoid. I have racing thoughts that go from good to bad. From certain parts of the day I'll feel happy, then after an hour I'll feel groggy and then that makes me gloomy, then later I feel hyper and eventually get mellow. I'm not sure if that's a bipolar issue or if it's just something everybody goes through throughout the day. My depression over my insecurity progressed everyday and I would think to myself that I was ugly and that's all I thought about all day. This led me to suicide thoughts and then that's all I thought about all the time was suicide. I did'nt talk to my sister about it any more because it would make her irritated and sick of me and my mom would pretty much think that I was going crazy and tell me to get over it. I can talk to my mom about my problems just not this one that I had. I would'nt want to talk to her about me being bipolar either. So one day I just prayed and later on I told myself that I was beautiful the way I am and I fake smiled for a while and that actually helped me feel content. So I felt very happy and wanted to do things that would help improve my looks and I'm always asking questions about how to lose minor face fat. :P Well I stopped that beince the only way is to lose weight all around. And I sort of need to, just a little bit. Anyway, from time to time I'll feel sad usually because I don't like certain things about me that people don't realize. Then I'll think the positives and then it'll come back to me even thugh I told myself a thousand times that there's nothing wrong with the way I look. I find ways to make myself happy. And I'm pretty sure I'm gonna get depressed again because every year (and I know this sounds stupid) I get very very depressed. I'm fourteen by the way. I was also wondering what the difference is between bipolar 1 and bipolar 2.

[Briaa]

Thank you (:

[mammo]

You really need to talk to your mom about this.  If you feel she won't listen, then put it in a letter to her, people seem to hear more when they are reading it.  All of us have emotions that fluctuate to some extent throughtout the day, and this is normal.  But it sounds like you have some anxiety about your appearance. At your age a lot of girls worry way too much about this, but you will soon discover, that it plays a very small part in who and what you are.  You can be popular because you are fun, sweet, witty, and bright! Just be yourself, be happy, it's infectuous and makes people want to be around you.  Nobody looks perfect, and as girls, always feels they need to be "perfect" but this just doesn't exist.  People will like you for who and what you are, no matter what you look like.  As females we are too critical with ourselves and need to spend more time on developing what's on the inside, because this is who you really are.  I know you have met people that you didn't think were really attractive but then once you got to know them, you found they were attractive.  That's because people like who you are, not always how you look.  Concentrate on having fun, getting your education, and not worrying so much about what others think, and life will fall in place for you!

[M4Y0U]

I don't think you are bipolar. Fluctuationa in a person's mood during the day and your overall description sounds more like Borderline Personality Disorder to me. You should get a diagnosis from a qualified psychiatrist.

The difference between bipolar type 1 and 2 is the severity or the manic episodes called mania and hypomania. Hypomania is less severe than mania which would suggest it is not supposed to interfere with your daily activities. A person experiencing psychotic symptoms such as hallucination and severe paranoia and manic episodes would suggest bipolar type 1.

M4