Am I depress or what?

[Haremiliana]

I am 33yrs old, recently I realized that I seems to have problems remembering such as where did I put the things, who is that person etc. It get really frustrating, I tend to get angry easily even though I didn't show it openly but it is 'eating' me inside.
On top of that I tend to get easily paranoid with other people please don't get me wrong, it is not that I'm finding fault with others but just like the other day when I was out, I saw these two girls who was looking at me one of them was whispering something at the other then the other stared at me. Some bad incidents in my life that I had flashed back recently makes me get irratable, it is really depressing. I want to be the person I use to be I want to be a positive thinker. Can people who's around me contribute to the problems? Can anyone help me by telling me the solution to me problems, thanks.

[MyDory]

I'm sorry your going through this.I can identify with you a bit.I have problems remembering things too.it frustrates me since I'm a manager.I wonder if they think, man she's stupid.what was she thinking? I have so many things I have to do...I just can't concentrate sometimes. I use to be a very positive person. sometimes I wonder was I really that way? or was I just fake and let everyone think that? My sister says I'm like Dory off of Nemo-.forgetting things.I understand about feeling paranoid about what others may be whispering.I grew up in a community where my family was the different ethnic background and everyone made sure you knew that... days I spent wishing I wasn't...now I look back & know that those are ignorant people...but now as a mother I dont want my children to ever feel that pain...dealing with anxiety, depression ect...They say you just have to try it...until a good match?

[MyDory]

I've been on Paxil...felt better but when thoughts of sex....made my skin crawl...not good for a young married couple. Then Serzone helped, felt better.Then able to wean off & several years without anything. Then had my children...each time... had PPD...zoloft helped... except the 2nd time...didn't seem to help as much...still feel so confused, hopeless...but can't feel that all the time...I have to many responsibilities.... my children...my job... I don't have time to think about my problems. Then your mind wonders...what if youre just being a big baby...we are so fortunate...look at others across the world.makes you think of what we do have...and to quit dwelling on myself...With the constant mind going... makes so many projects going on...not enough time to do them. So now I have 50+ projects at work...and ongoing unfinished ones at home. I always thougth of myself as a perfectionist at one time...(never the kind to make anyone feel bad...I'd keep it to myself and fix it behind the scenes) but now I wonder what if I was just making it all up...what if I was creating it all to portray that I had it together...when i never did.... okay now I'm just blabbing.... I didn't mean to go on such a long tangent. I hope you are doing better. Hang in there

[Haremiliana]

I sorry about what you're going thru, I can related to your problem. Whoo 50+ project that too much, I know how it feels I was under simillar pressure when I was working but now it seems to be of a different pressure and I am trying to cope with it. Thanks for sharing your expirence with me. Is there any other way for me to 'contact' you so that we might be able to talk more about it. Thank you once again.

Love Haremiliana

[Venora Moonwind]

I used to experience that alot.I dont think it is depression.Its just that as women, we have so much going on in our lives like are the children being cared for and the hubby and what are we going to fix for dinner and I need to run that errand and the our jobs pull us back and forth till we forget where we laid the keys did we shut off the curling iron.I cant even remember my shower routine ,shampoo hair, washface ,wash body rinse and turnoff water.Do you know how many times i have had to get back in the shower to rinse out the condition out of my hair.
We need to take time to breathe and take a few moments for ourselves and put our selves first instead of everyone else.Only then can we take care of the others in our lives. It was so hard for me to learn it was ok to take time for myself. Now I am religeous about my time.I am now a better mom, wife, daughter and sister because I put my needs first.
Take some time for you and relax and dont worry too much about what others think.Its what you think about yourself that is important.learn to love yourself and the rest will follow.
Love Venora

[Haremiliana]

Hello there, thank you so much for your kind words, I really appreciates it. Maybe your're right about something I don't have time for myself, for your information I look after my children 24/7 I don't go out or chat with other people except for my family which most of the time give me either the negative 'aura' or look down on me, here we don't have babysitter by the hour so that we are able to go out with friends or with our spouse, when I go out means I got to bring all my 3 children together, nowadays I try to give myself a breather but then I feel GUILTY because to me I am not being a good mother to my children, I do all the housework, teach my children when my husband comes home, he shower, eat and sleep, please don't get me wrong he do help me but once in the blue moon. We hardly have time to talk, when I told him about the problems he always says he's working and told me if I don't want these problems why don't I work, here is not easy to find job after you've reach the big 30, so he's giving me a way out which is out of the question beside the cost of babysitter per child here is about three hundred dollars.

Haremiliana

P.S. I tried to e-mail you, have you change your address, please e-mail me at the address that you have, thanks.

[elleniana]

Hello everyone, I dont know whats wrong with me lately i can`t remember things and its scrarrying me... I forgett alot of things and i am having problems even with my husband because of that...I don`t know what to do i am afraid of even lossing him. He thinks that i do it on purpose but is not that, i think that is all the presure that i am having lately but he doesn`t understand. I am only 22, but i had a car accident 2 months ago and i am not doing well from it, and i dont know if he thinks that i am faking or what, but we are arguing every day about the same things. I dont know what to do my marrige is going down, i feel worst everyday, i don`t know what to do.....
I am trying to be the best mom and wife possable but everithing that i do is wrong on my husbands eyes, and that is depressing. Lately i dont have enough time for my girls because of everything i have to do, so i am thinking about resigning from my job to see if things get any better...I am so strees out and i dont know how to turn too. My mom says that is pretty much in my head cant tell my husband because i feel that lately he doesn't care or maybe he thinks im being dramatic. I am going thru a hard time....
Thank you