Am I insane? If so, in what way?

Do you think I have some sort of mental illness?

In the last year I've went from simply making bad choices to completely neglecting all of the (what used to be) important things in my life. What was, as recent as last year, what I thought to be a successful and fulfilling life and career has turned to complete chaos and failure.

Soon after my divorce of a few years ago I experienced some major set-backs in the business I've owned for the last ten years. The set-backs were difficult and stressful but I worked my way through them I thought. More recently I've seemingly sabotaged my business with out right neglect. I've gotten to the point where I'm in trouble with city and state agencies who regulate businesses simply because I didn't bother to pay fees, apply for licenses, and pay taxes. If that's not enough, when the warning letters started coming in the mail, I simply chose to not open the envelopes and started tossing them in a shoe box. There's several hundred letters in the box now, un-opened. I know I'm in over my head now. The fines and fees must be unbelievably high now and to a point where I'll never be able to pay them off. I'm sure the proper agencies will come to shut my retail establishment down at any moment. I'm the only one who knows any of this. I've never told a sole. Not even my business partner who is my sister. Four years ago I considered selling my business and could have gotten close to 2 million dollars for it. I'm sure that its not worth a red cent now and its all my fault. I'm pretty sure I'm in debt to the IRS for about 50 thousand bucks and I know they'll be coming after me soon. The strange thing is that even though I can say all of this during one of the few occasions that I bothered to worry about it, I feel sort of disconnected from it and don't even really care all that much. For some reason, I still think that somehow everything will be okay. Is this nuts?

Furthermore, what used to be a friend pool of 20 or so good people is now standing pat at two; and I can tell that one is ready to bolt. I hardly ever communicate with any of my family members whom I used to do so with frequently. I've been dating a twenty one year old girl for the last six months (not sure where this comes into play) and she's pretty much the only person whom I have any interaction with whatsoever.

The worst thing about this whole thing is that although I can see all of the problems and the dire consequences of what have been mainly in-actions (as apposed to something I did), I don't feel motivated to do anything about it. I'm basically just waiting around to be crushed by the forces that be. I go days without even thinking about my predicament.

Anybody? Please, what's wrong with me?

Thank you.

[LeftCoastChick]

We can't make a diagnosis here to be honest, some that you've mentioned could be depression or bipolar disorder. You really need to sit down with your GP and discuss this. Why can't you get back on track? Sit down with your banck, irs and anyone else and at least make an effort to fix things, they will notice that. I've worked for major bank, and if there is no contact you won't get any help when the creditors come knocking.

[Kova]

Hi.

maybe the reason you don't care about your business is that you truly don't want to be in it anymore?  can this be true?  do you think you may be sabotaging it because deep down you want out?

Kova

[ILADVOCATE]

Difficulties in social functioning and social relations could come from any number of psychiatric disabilities. I know I had that from schizoaffective disorder before recovery but you don't describe being psychotic but cutting yourself off from people is common for this. But it can be part of depression as well if your thinking is otherwise normal. And if you have moodswings where you feel speeded up in addition then perhaps it could be bipolar. These are a lot of questions and like people said we can't diagnose you but these would be relevant questions to ask yourself and bring to your psychiatrist so they can find out what's going on. And having a psychiatric disability doesn't make you "insane". The fact that you are concerned about this issue and want to address it shows some common sense and I would say that approaching a psychiatrist about it along with a talk therapist would be a good start.

[jmdunn]

See a Dr. Sounds like how I react to depression. It's not insanity, it's a chemical inbalance in the brain & medication can help.

[Mage1970]

I don't think you are depressed & I don't think that its a psychiatic problem. The first thing you HAVE to do is sit down with your sister & tell her whats happened. I would urge you to see your local,& ask for a referal to a Psycologist.Start opening those envelopes - It is better to know how deep the s*** is before you dive into it !!!! GOOD LUCK