Am i ok

hey.i always feel left out and it's as though i never fit in.i have quite a number of friends but i feel like i always say or do the wrong things.i dont like what most teenagers like such as going out,taking so much pictures,dressing up and stuff.i like a quiet life and still somehow i wish i could just be like others.i hardly ever believe in myself.i have dreams of becoming a writer and becoming a great success in life but there's a part of me that gets easily daunted and i feel i can't make it in life.nobody knows this about me and i feel embarrassed about it.i wish i had just one very best friend that will love and understand me,but it just seems so hard to find one.i just feel non-deservant of anything and i just don't feel good enough,even though physically am very ok.i just feel so alone and so sad and sometimes i find myself wishing i was never born.i have good and loving parents.i attend a nice university in nigeria but i still feel weird and sad.i just want to find happiness in my own little word.and though i have created my own plan of learning to be happy and independent of friends and others, i just want to believe that there are others out there like me and what else can i do to conquer my problems and actualise my dreams,and is it wrong to just like something and be different from others.

[boognell]

It's not unusual for a young person to be searching for their own identity.\ Relax.\\MeditaTte on the circumstances and ex\periences you are now having.\ They are \part of the growth p\rocess.This time of your life will serve you well in your quest to become a writer.\ Also, you would be surp\rised to know how many feel the same way you do and don'\t verbalize. You are not alone.

[boognell]

It's not unusual for a young person to be searching for their own identity.\ Relax.\\MeditaTte on the circumstances and ex\periences you are now having.\ They are \part of the growth p\rocess.This time of your life will serve you well in your quest to become a writer.\ Also, you would be surp\rised to know how many feel the same way you do and don'\t verbalize. You are not alone.

[boognell]

I forgot to say you ARE deserving of all good things in life. You will get past this. Good luck and God bless.

[kevieb]

i think i understand a little bit of what you are feeling--kind of like you are describing my life---i felt like that as a teenager, somewhat---and then i was ok for awhile--now here i am 48 years old and i'm back to trying to find myself.

i always loved the john denver song "on the road of experience"  not sure if that was the actual name but the words described my life.

on the road of experience, i'm trying to find my own way
sometimes i wish that i could fly away
when i think that i'm moving
suddendly things stand still
i'm afraid 'cause i think they always will
and i'm looking for space
and to find out who i am
and i'm looking to know and understand

it's a sweet, sweet dream
sometimes i'm almost there
sometimes i fly like and eagle
and sometimes i'm deep in despair

all alone in the universe
sometimes that's how it seems
i get lost in the sadness and the screams
then i look in the center
and suddenly everythings clear
i find myself in the sunshine
and my dreams

and i'm looking for space
and to find out who i am
and i'm looking to know and understand
it's a sweet, sweet dream
]sometimes i'm almost there
sometimes i fly like and eagle
and sometimes i'm deep in despair

on the road of experience
join in the living day
if there's and answer it's just
"that it's just that way"

when you're looking for space
and to find out who you are
when you're looking
to try and reach the stars

i'ts a sweet, sweet dream
sometimes i fly like an eagle
and sometimes i'm deep in despair
sometimes i fly like and eagle
like and eagle........
i go flying, higher and higher.....


you're at the age where you're trying to find yourself----i'm at the age when i'm trying to adjust to all the changes life has brought and trying to figure out where i fit in---because i don't know anymore

depression stinks.