Hello all - 29/F - stay at home Mom to a 3 year old. I am going crazy. I mean nuts. My poor husband is going to end up leaving me. (I'm just joking w/ that, he's a very supportive husband but I know I'm driving him crazy) I refuse to take any sort of medication, mainly because none of them work for me. More specifically, I was on Zoloft 150mg for about a year (which did nothing for me except make me paranoid), Paxil 75 mg for 2 weeks b/c it made me feel lethargic, and have tried Lexipro 50mg for a month and it did nothing for me except make me tired. I have been to talk to a psychologist, who made me feel judged like I was crazy or something - so I never went back b/c I was scared he'd think I was an unfit mother (which I'm not, I DO what I have to do for my child and she is VERY well taken care of and loved...I would NEVER neglect her...she has no clue I'm like this) so i never went back to that psychologist. I have tried talking to friends/family members/church family, everyone just says I'm just in a funk and that I need to get out more. My husband thinks exercising will "cure" me but pfft...I don't even want to walk around the block much less go exercise in a gym. 2 years ago I was scared to death to even go outside, I had a fear that somebody was going to grab me or that every man who looked at me was going to follow me home and plan some sort of attack, I had become an agoraphobic and this year I have mono-phobia, and am now scared to death of being alone. More specifically I'm scared that I'm going to die (which seems to be something alot of people suffer with when they're depressed) My husband works swing shifts so his schedule sometimes requires him to work nights (worst time ever for me) I have lost 6% of my total body weight in about 5 months. I went from 114/115 lbs to 106/107lbs. Which has stressed me out even more because now I'm paranoid about my "unexplained weight loss" I find myself searching constantly on the internet for every ache and pain I have and so far this year I have self diagnosed myself with a brain stem stroke, a tumor, appendicitis, cancer, heart attack, high blood pressure, diabetes, high cholesterol...and the list goes on...My husband is so understanding and so supportive he's always telling me (not talking down to me) that I'm ok that everything is ok that if something were truly wrong I'd already be at the hospital...And I have NO sex drive...none. It's out the door and it ran off like a stray dog. So not only is my husband dealing with someone who has ALL of the above going on - but he's not getting that satisfaction that every man needs. I have been conscientiously trying my best to get out of the house more, taking our little girl to the park, being outside more often. I feel like there's more I could be doing to get this under control but I've just seriously lost all motivation to go anywhere or do anything and I would be happy lying in bed all day staring out the window thinking about how I have no life...basically feeling sorry for myself. My body aches. I'm tired all the time. I've lost weight. I refuse to go back to the doctor to have him tell me what I already know, offering me more medicines (that don't work) Is there ANYTHING else out there that I can do to pull myself out of this?
Hi! First of all, I want to tell you I know exactly how you are feeling. I`ve been agoraphobic, depressed, anxious on and off for, hummm 5 years I think. And on top of that I`m a psychologist :). So, to tell you it does get better, won`t help much I suppose, but it does! It can get better if you do something about it. If you don`t want to take meds, don`t take them. There are other ways for you to get better. First, and I know how hard this can be, you need to get up, and do something for yourself. If you don`t want to go to the gym, or even outside, you don`t have to. Nobody is pushing you to do anything! Work out a plan that`s right for you. I myself, since I never go to the gym, and don`t like taking walks by myself, I do some exercises at home, or yoga (plenty of instruction videos online), I like to draw, bake, even read... Sometimes I feel like I could just crawl back into my bed and never get up, but forcing yourself to do something useful (like exercise) is sometimes the only way to *jumpstart yourself! Be hard on yourself, but not in the way you are hard on yourself now (driving yourself crazy with guilt) - you have to fight for the quality of your life and if that means that you`ll sometimes have to kick yourself in the process just to get things done, so be it! :) Second, the psychologist that you went to is not the only psychologist there is. And, by the sound of it, he is probably not a very good one. First thing you learn, when you become a psychologist, is to treat everyone equally, without judging and without discriminating. And I don`t think he thought of you as crazy, cause he knows what "crazy" is, and you don`t fit into that concept (at least by what you said in your post). Psychologists are people too, and, as with all other people, you form a relationship with him. Sometimes those relationships work, and sometimes they don`t. Maybe you weren`t right for each other? Try finding someone who will suit you and your needs better. And look into healthy diets and natural ways to ease anxiety, they take more time and effort to do the job, but it pays off... Hope I helped, and sorry about my bad English :) (not my native language, I`m from Europe). Wish you all the best!
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