At my breaking point

[Brittany5595]

I'm a 19 year old who is getting ready to enter into college for a second year. I have recently over the past year developed severe depression while at college most likely due to the fact that I felt lonely because I had no friends. After graduating from high school I now only have one really great friend and an amazing boyfriend who have done their very best to be there for me in my darkest days even though they went to different colleges. I hoped coming home for summer break would help but the depression is still there no matter what I try to do. I am so scared that I am going to push away the very few people who are still friends with me. Any suggestions on what may help before I lost everyone I care about? I am at the point where all I want to do is sit and cry because the depression is so bad and I'm so scared to lose them. Nothing seems to help anymore and I feel like I'm depressed all the time now and I don't have any good days. Nothing can seem to get me out of this slump. It would be great if someone who has been through something like this can give me some advice.

[nursegirl6572]

Hello and welcome!!

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad.  This isn't uncommon at all hon.  Adjusting to college is hard, it's a HUGE life change.  New environment, being away from home among a SEA of strangers.  Who wouldn't find that overwhelming?  To add to that, the people you're closest to are at other schools, so you feel disconnected from your main support system, and of course you miss them.  Feeling homesick is terrible.  Your heart just aches for the familiar faces in your life.  Thank GOD for the internet and social media.  Things like facebook, twitter, and skype will help you to feel more connected to those you are missing.

Rest assured, you can and will get through this, you just need to put some work in.  For one, I would recommend talking to a mental health professional, NOW, while you're feeling so poorly.  

While medications aren't a "cure" for depression, they can help manage the symptoms while you work on the aspects of your life that you can improve, to get you feeling better.  The one good thing is, you're 100% aware of the underlying cause of how you're feeling.  It's much more difficult to address depression when it doesn't make sense, when it's out of context in a seemingly great life.  I personally think if you dive into the recommendations I'm going to give you, you won't need medication, but remember that it's always an option, it just takes time to work.

Here's my recommendations...

When you get back to school, start getting involved in different social and/or academic related groups.  There are TONS of different groups for people, based on their interests.  There's literally something for everyone.  Once you start getting involved in a group, you will develop closer bonds with people and create a NEW support system, in addition to the one you already have.  You need to find your place at school, that way you'll feel as though you're in the right place, have a purpose, and you'll start to enjoy college.  When you get actively involved in different organizations, you'll love school and will feel much more fulfilled.

There are organizations that will involve different kinds of community services.  You will feel good about yourself for helping out in the community (ie homeless organizations, animal rescue, etc), and at the same time, be developing a new group of friends.  

I'll tell you that you may not feel like it at first, that's where pushing yourself is crucial.  Depression ***** the life and motivation out of us.  I promise you that if you consistently push through that and basically force yourself to get involved, that feeling will get better and better, and it will get easier and easier to stay engaged in your activities.  

Also, start a routine that involves some kind of exercise...whether you walk around the track every day (my fave college past time), or go to your school gym...exercise is not only GREAT for lifting your mood, due to the release of natural "feel good" chemicals, endorphins, but again, you'll be putting yourself in a position of meeting new people and developing new friendships.

If it won't interfere with your studies, you could also get a PT job.  Another great way to meet people, AND put some money in your pocket.  

Having a consistent daily routine that involves the kinds of things I mentioned above will help tremendously.  It will give you a sense of normalcy, which is vital to feeling secure and settled.

Lastly, keep in close contact with the school counselor.  They're there for good reason, they are a WONDERFUL resource.  They will help you navigate through all of this, and help by supporting you through the tougher days....keep you on track.  Many schools have them available during the summer months, so I would advise trying to contact them, to see if you can start that ball rolling, so when you GET to school, you'll be able to start seeing him/her.

If you do these things, you will find that not only will your feelings of depression resolve, but you'll actually be loving life.  Very best to you, sweetie.  Keep in touch, and update us, okay?  It's going to be alright!!

[Bubulous]

The depression is likely still there because the thoughts that caused the depression in the first place are still there.  Thoughts of loneliness and loss usually cause depression and it is important for you to make those thoughts go away.  Coming on here can help a little as you can make friends on here but it is also important to find friends or groups in your everyday life to fill that void.  Recovery from depression when you have been in it for a long time is a process.  You did not get in this state over night so you have to give yourself time to come out of it.
Become more active and try some volunteer work if you can.  Do you have the means to see a therapist?