Boyfriend thinks there's a problem...

My partner thinks there is something wrong with me. He thinks I have depression or some other type of mental disorder, but I have done A LOT of research into mental health and I can't seem to find anything that "fits". I know you can't diagnose yourself just by reading a magazine article or a website about mental health, but I've looked into the DSM-II, studied Psychology at a VCE level and read quite a few articles from medical journals about it. My boyfriend has been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and takes medication for it, and I've been to a few psychiatrist appointments with him so I know the signs of depression (the appointments were for him, not for me). I've talked to several doctors about how I feel and they say it's completely normal, but I'm an "emotionally sensitive person". I agree with that "diagnosis" I guess you could call it, but the way I feel is causing a lot of problems especially with my relationship with my boyfriend.

Soo...I don't know what to do. He wants me to go straight to a psychiatrist but I don't think that's the best option. Should I just talk to another doctor? He's written out a list of things that he thinks are wrong but I don't reckon those things relate to depression at all. I have mood swings and get angry and irritated very easily. I always feel lethargic, and get very sleepy at the end of the day even though I usually sleep fine throughout the night (my sleep can be disturbed by nightmares or sometimes vivid dreams). I get anxious, particularly in social situations, but not so much anymore because I'm going to university now and I've been forced into social interaction. It's just sweaty palms, feeling frightened and an increase in respiration rate so nothing like a panic attack or full-blown anxiety. I cry very easily and anything can set me off into a bad mood. My bad moods can be anything from feeling very sad and crying, feeling empty and just emotionless, very angry and irritated, or just a "bleh" sort of feeling.

[Bubulous]

It is very wise of you not to try to diagnose yourself.  There 2 types of people with mood disorders:

Those diagnosed and those who have not been diagnosed yet.  It may take a while to get treatment and a while linger to find the meds that are right for you.  I am on quite a few and I honestly coudn't live without them.

Whether or not you choose to go with treatment or do it yourself look into some cognitive behavioral therapy CBT.  You can find loads of alternative medicine.  Also I am a big fan of St John's Wort.  It is a natural antidepressant and it is the only one I am allowed to take as Zoloft makes me manic.

Good Luck either way and welcome to the forum.

[freddie8605]

You may want to go to a local general doctor first and if needed get referred to a psychiatrist, as its important that these feeling are not due to a physical thing such as thyroid disorder . If all those tests come back fine than looking into seeing a psychiatrist as they specialist in mental illnesses so can make a proper diagnosis and create a appropriate treatment plan.
If these "symptoms" are not effecting you, as you have stated that its your boyfriend who is concerned (maybe i misread but it seems only your boyfriend is concerned and you hadn't noticed)  then are you really in need of seeing someone for help? maybe this is more of your boyfriends issue, but If the symptoms are effecting you greatly then I think it is important to see a doctor.

[nursegirl6572]

I agree with the above posters and would recommend seeing your PCP for starters.

While you say you've done a lot of research and clearly are knowledgeable about depression, it would be impossible for you to self diagnose, or even evaluate yourself in a proper way (which I'm glad you recognize).

Certainly what you describe would put up a lot of red flags for depression, which is maybe where your BF is coming from.  If your doc can't find a physical reason for your symptoms, I can't see that it would hurt to get assessed by a p-doc.  You seem to be very convinced you DON'T have depression, yet there are several signs that point to either that, or possibly anxiety.  Could you perhaps just be fearful of an official diagnosis?  Do you feel that you could improve on your mood and anxiety?  I don't think it would hurt to look into it...just try to remain open minded.

And rememeber, your BF brings this up because he cares.  A lot of times we THINK we're just fine, but to others, things look a lot different, which is where a 3rd party professional could be helpful in sorting this out for you.

Good luck...keep in touch!!

[mammo]

I agree with the above posts, it sounds like you do have some depression and/or anxiety going on. The people around us can see things that we often can't, so your partner is only trying to help.  I feel it would be good to see a psychiatrist and be very honest with him on how you're feeling.  Often we may relay how we're feeling differently than how we really are, and this can cause a misdiagnosis. It's truly worth doing for yourself and your partner as I'm sure you don't enjoy these feelings.  I hope this helps and wish you all the very best!

[Nexy]

Thanks guys. I think I will go to a doctor, because my emotions have gotten a bit worse than they have been in the past and I'm getting bad thoughts. I still don't think I have depression but I'll let a doctor decide on that lol.
Part of me wants to have something psychologically wrong so I can just take meds and make it better (I know it's not that easy, like *poof* and everything's better but at least it'd be a relief); but part of me is so scared that the doctor I go to will just say "oh, it's normal" or "There's nothing we can do for you". I don't know if I could stand going through an appointment with a doctor where I spill out my heart, but at the end he just shrugs it off.

[Nexy]

I found the list he made of my "problems":

 Depression
 Paranoia
 Trouble trusting [warranted IMO, since he has lied almost our whole relationship]
 Sad for no reason [I personally reckon there's a reason, usually]
 Sad and upset for things people usually are amused at [the "sensitivity" thing again]
 Lies and attacks when confronted about problems [I get irritated.]
 Accuses others of causing problems when katys fault
 Sad and upset at things that don’t matter [they matter to ME]
 Expects too much of me even though I try my best

[mammo]

It's well worth you seeing someone about this, but it also appears that there may be some relationship issues going on.  These may be due to your depression....all the more reason to seek help.  Most of us never knew we had depression, but by seeing someone you can at least rule it out....or in and get help with it.    It will get worse if left untreated, and why feel this way when you don't have to?  It sounds like you have some anger issues which comes with depression and your boyfriend is the object of your lashing out.  You can't help this, it's all controlled by your depression.  There is so much help for you and nobody is going to tell you this is all normal......or find another doctor!  Take that list with you if need be, but do seek help for you're own well being and to keep your relationship strong.  It will all be okay and I wish you all the best!

[Nexy]

Thankyou