Can't get out of bed

[SisterLynn]

My sister's treatment for severe depression and Anhedonia includes Adderal. She regularly takes more of the Adderal than prescribed so that she runs out about a week before she can get another prescription.  Thus, for a week of each month she can't get out of bed.  Her doctor told her a long time ago if she ever abused the adderal he will no longer be her doctor. So I can't go to him with this problem. She has now been in bed for 5 days and would not get up to go to her doctor's appointment yesterday to get her new prescription. I don't know what to do for her. If she can't get her Adderal until she goes in but she can't get up without it, what is the solution? Will she eventually be able to pull herself together well enough to go to her doctor?  I have contacted an organization in our town to try to get her into an inpatient program for addictions because she has been abusing her Adderal like this for two years now even though the dosage has been increased. But, I'm not sure this is exactly what she needs either. Any suggestions? thanks

[upsetwoman]

You are surrounded by people with addictions and mental illness that come out and say it.  I think in my circles, things like this are not talked about.  If someone is mentally ill they are put away in a sort of box and not discussed.  One sad story is my Dad's best friend's daughter.  A beauty at 18 when when she was one of my bridesmaids. Now a would-be homeless woman who has lost all of her children from two husbands to children's aid.  The grandfather tried to keep them, but authorities claim he is too old to keep them.  Other siblings didn't even try.  So sad.  She comes from money but chews it all up when she has it in one day and even gives it away.  Her Dad 'buys' what she needs now and that is it.  He also takes care of her extremely bipolar husband.  They live in a smokey, disgusting trailer that should be condemed for the odor out in Newmarket, Ontario somewhere.  She went from a blooming bud to a smelly old witch.  It is very very sad.  I noticed people star at her.  At my Dad's funeral she put on a dress and was very heavily medicated.  As she passed by you could smell the skin of someone who never washes who did a touch up for that day.  The rest of her family calmly walked with her.  It is so sad.

[SisterLynn]

Wow. I SO identify with your last paragraph. She is my baby sister (though she's 50) and I love her so much. It's more complicated - she suffered a severe brain injury in a car accident in 2002. I worked really hard to get her to the right doctors and the right treatments to rehabilitate much of what was wrong with her at the time. Her husband of 30 years cared (I presume) but just didn't have a clue what to do about it all. She has certainly come a long way since her accident.  However, her depression had started before her brain injury and is just further complicated because of it. She is overwhelmed this month because she was kicked out of our other sister's house where she had been staying and had no where to go. I moved her back to my house but my husband was relentlessly on her case (even when not warranted) and so she has gone back home to her husband's in hopes they can work things out. (They've been separated two years since she caught him running around on her.) She ran out of meds while there and can't get out of bed to come back here or go to the doctor. This of course isn't helping their relationship any. So while I'm sure she's in a very stressful situation; it does seem a good time for her to go into a program. Thanks for sharing your story and giving your input.

[LeftCoastChick]

I defintely think you are on the right track and it sounds like your husband has set some boundaries. I have to say though, if she's putting it off, because she's too busy is an obvious sign she's not ready to go. I would personally lay down the law, tough love is almost the only way to deal with addictions. Have you seen that show Intervention?

Wow, but it sometimes doesn't work, like my ex - whom I have to interact with due to our dogs. I've laid down really firm boundaries regarding who gets the dogs, and if I see any and I mean any signs of neglect, I will take the dogs without notice. So far she's been pretty good, and I had to re-inforce those boundaries last weekend. Between her pot use and her depression she hasn't been walking the dogs on the schedule she is supposed to. I now have them more, until she shows more responsibility.

She is constantly "sick" from work for one reason or another, right now she's dead sure she has pneumonia, which she doesn't, and missing another week or two of work She's close to being fired, and doesn't realize it. She got back payment settlement  from an old job , a total of 9k just before xmas, and she totally blew most of it. Even with that money, she didn't pay her rent for that month, and doesn't believe her addiction has anything to do with it. She loaned me a bit of money, because I waited 2 months for my insurance to kick in, and blames all her woes on me. I'm regreful that I asked her, but I was desperate. She's run out of pot, and hell to be around - but I have no choice, there are parts of her that I love, but mostly not.

It's so hard when life gets so intangled with another person and their addiction, it's not like you can completely cut them out of your lives. It's so frustrating.

[SisterLynn]

Thanks. I appreciate the reinforcement that an addictions program is the way to go. She told me she would go and even talked with the program reps. But I later found out that she told them too much is going on this month for her to go in...  so I'm not sure she is really ready. But I'll keep working on it. She has been staying at her husband's the past two weeks while I was out of town (they've been separated for two years); he tolerates her behavior but goes about his business and I don't think he knows how to try to help her.  My husband doesn't tolerate her behavior very well so finding a good home for her is a problem too. thanks!

[birdie0907]

Sorry, I didn't notice that part where you say you can't go to her doctor, but I still wonder if doc may accept your custody idea.
The addictions program is the only solution, and she has to want to go, so try to work on her to see if she will accept that after you work out the custody issue.

[birdie0907]

Does she live alone, or near someone like you? If so, maybe you can hold it for her and give it out daily.
She is too addicted at this point to avoid temptation. Is it possible for you to talk to her doctor about this so the arrangement can be made for you to have the drug custody?