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Committing suicide, is it worth?
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Committing suicide, is it worth?

Hi my name is Ari, I'm 20, and I feel like committing suicide, cause I can't stop blaming myself.

Here's my story:
Since 2010, August I'm away from my home county & studying abroad. I'm physically in good shape, but I think I have some mental problem.

The thing is that after I came here, I met a boy, then in this February, 2011 we had sex once. At first, I didn't think it was serious. So after a month my menstruation didn't show up on time. I went to the doctor in March, and found out I was pregnant, cause we didn't use protection the other day.  

I'm a freshman student, and I thought I was not ready to have a baby, so I decided to have an abortion two weeks later. I hesitated about hundred times whether I should keep the baby or not, until I got up on the abortion chair. Even though I had an abortion.    

Now, 6 months had past since I had an abortion, and I can't forgive myself.
All I want to do is being alone & cry. In addition, I feel like want to be isolated from others. As time goes by I'm feeling terrible.

Actually, before this incident my only dream was to have a child and live in a healthy family, cause I lost both my parents when I was little.
Right now I'm even thinking of committing suicide. I have no passion to live.


Is it temporary feeling or is it a mental disease?
What should I do?
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13 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_f_tn
You can get counseling from an agency that is committed to helping women who have been through what you have been through.  You have symptoms of grief and you need to work through this by talking to someone who understands.
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Avatar_f_tn
Hay jess im no expert but i think u know wat im going to say. Its not worth it sweetheart, people everywer make mistakes, and uv been through alot of hurt in your life losing people u love and i understand u blame yourself but u are incharge of your destiny. u must of felt deep down that it wasnt the right time for a baby. why end your life hun when u can expierence life so much. and yes yr gonna get hurt but u need to look for that strength in side u grab life as hard as u can and make it yours its hard i know hun but give yourself a chance please xxx take care ok
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1194973_tn?1385507504
There are many, many women who have been in your particular situation, and it's a very difficult one to be in. Most women panic and when you are panicked you make hasty decisions. As a result, when you ARE thinking clearly you start to regret your choice and are lost about what to do or what your future holds. Suicide is NOT the answer though. Humans make choices they regret all the time, and you need to give yourself time to move on. I strongly, strongly encourage you to seek help NOW, and talk to someone about this. There are medical professionals trained that can help you get through this, and therapy can help you work through the feelings that you can. Please, never hesitate to PM if you need to talk about anything.
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1415482_tn?1337188613
Hi. Definately not worth it dear. Life is about making choices some wrong and some right. We are all human beings and we all make mistakes sometimes its how we learn. You need to look hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel even tho ur have been through alot of things. Seek help and get a proper counsellor to speak with dear. Please take care.
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1831221_tn?1332829421
I'm sorry you feel that way, but it's DEFINITELY not worth it. I'm being sincere, it's really not worth it to commit suicide. As you get older, you will realize that it was silly of you to think this thought at all. But, it's what a lot of people with depression do. You may be just plain depressed, generally about life. But, I may be wrong. It may be only temporary, for a few years and then go to normal. Well, anyway I really am sorry for what happened with you, and I feel like I am generally depressed, and then times of course can be happy days. You will find those happy days. People have been in your situation before, I know it. They had to deal with the sadness, too. Again I am so sorry. But definitely do NOT commit suicide. It's really not worth the risk, sincerely, Madison.
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Avatar_m_tn
You are special and we all make mistakes,it,s called being human and we can,t go back and change the past but we can make the future better and harming yourself is not a part of that future.Life can turn turn on it,s head in one day,it,s that simple and that,s reality.We all wish we could change the past but we can,t.Also living in the past doesn,t help but looking forward to a brighter future does.The future is in your hands,make it a good one.Wish you every happiness.
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Avatar_n_tn
hello there sweet
don't for gods sake trust your feelings at the moment and treat your mind as an intruder if you like.  get yourself to the doc...you are pretty depressed and yes it is an illness but the good thing about it is it's easily managed with tablets.  and or councilling.  

the thing with depression is your thought process is totally unreliable and would totally help your already sad situation unbareable.   but here s the wonderful part....once you are on the mend you will be so so glad that you got yourself seen by a doctor.   don't be shy in coming forward ..tell them exactly what has happened and they will refer you to everyone you will need to help you through this.  please insist on seeing a councelor to share your grief with.  isolation for you at the moment isn't an option foro you right now.  the next thing..is to be brave and call your parents and explain you dilema.  there isn't a parent out there who wasn't a young person in trouble at one time or another.   infact why don't you share this with your family first...  but do get yourself along to your doc..if you haven't one then go get one.  or see the samaritans...if you can't afford one.  just don't be on your own.  

i have two young children...and it is the hardest most draining thing i have ever done. and thats with a partner.  it isn't what you imagine...it can be soul destroying at times...and god you need some cash...let alone moral help.  don't feel bad...this wasnt a child or a person .  its an extremely stressful event at the best of times....and with no partner...it's not the best life to bring a child into.   save your time .   no one said it was going to be an easy decision and no one said it was going to easy to live with ....but you know what is was a resposible and caring move on your part.  trust me.  now go get help .x thinking of you.x
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Avatar_m_tn
Woah, hold the phone for second. I can't believe you are even considering this. Wake up, even though abortion was not necessarily the most morally fulfilling decision in human history, suicide is the worst decision you could possibly make. You are a fit and healthy 20 year old and people are depending on you. Imagine this, you are in front of a mirror in front of all the people you have come across in your life. Who do you see. They are trying to help you and protect you and by committing suicide you are going to give them a massive "**** you" to their face. Their work and efforts to try and make your day the best it could possibly be is in vain if you go ahead with this. I am sorry for my language and my emotion but seriously. You have got to be ******* joking. The baby's life is over, you cannot change that no matter how much you want to. Now it is time to look at the people around you how this decision will affect them. Take that into consideration and make your decision. My opinion: it is nowhere even close to remotely worth it. You're literally killing 2 birds with one stone.
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Avatar_m_tn
Do NOT do it. Life is so worth it.!
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794366_tn?1384172434
I read your post and I understand your pain. You have to remember that you were alone when you made this decision.  It's okay to forgive yourself if you are feeling guilty.  You are still young. You are not the only girl/woman in this situation and probably won't be the last.  Face what happened but don't kill yourself.  You won't be forgotten, everyone will feel the ramifications of your action and they will feel tremendous pain and hurt forever because they love and will miss you.  Tomorrow is another day,......it is true.  Whenever I have felt suicidal, just to get away from the pain of depression, I had to stop and I would cry because I had made the choice to live for me and my family.  I also strongly believe that tomorrow brings new and unexpected joy into your life.  That is true, believe it. Hang on for one more day.  Take it one day at a time. Sounds like you need to go talk to a therapist to get all of these feelings out, the good and the bad.  Then after some time, I guarantee you, you will start to feel better slowly but surely.  You are not alone when you are in despair and in great emotional pain.  You have others around you, use them, You have us, here, use us.
Hope that this helped.
Angela
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1832523_tn?1318119570
sweety !!!!  iknow that you have already heard this , but not worth it .....  i cant really tell you that it will all be okay and youll wake up one morning fixed completely cured ..... its just not going to happen ! you ll have to work through these issues ,  you must realize that you are human you were designed  to react  and to think and to process ,,,,, what you did is what you though was best at the time ,,,, you have to be confident in your decisions .... even if they are hard to make !  ive been here not the same exact situation but  with the blameing myself i mean .... its hard , im not going to lie ! it have to think of it this way .... life is going to happen  wheither you like it or not , there will always be rough choices and screwed up situations.... always ..... its how you deal with them .....and due to the fact that you are reaching out and you want answers  or attention means your eager and you really do not want to die ....... you just want help ! and  there are many people in this world that would be willing to help you , and  alot of them have been there before .... its not worth it  to die .......  i know it hurts  i know the feeling ... but you must try  try and be happy little by little talk to someone , listen to happy music  for me it always helped to talk to someone anyone ...... i hope i can help ... i want to help !!!!
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1832523_tn?1318119570
sweety !!!!  iknow that you have already heard this , but not worth it .....  i cant really tell you that it will all be okay and youll wake up one morning fixed completely cured ..... its just not going to happen ! you ll have to work through these issues ,  you must realize that you are human you were designed  to react  and to think and to process ,,,,, what you did is what you though was best at the time ,,,, you have to be confident in your decisions .... even if they are hard to make !  ive been here not the same exact situation but  with the blameing myself i mean .... its hard , im not going to lie ! it have to think of it this way .... life is going to happen  wheither you like it or not , there will always be rough choices and screwed up situations.... always ..... its how you deal with them .....and due to the fact that you are reaching out and you want answers  or attention means your eager and you really do not want to die ....... you just want help ! and  there are many people in this world that would be willing to help you , and  alot of them have been there before .... its not worth it  to die .......  i know it hurts  i know the feeling ... but you must try  try and be happy little by little talk to someone , listen to happy music  for me it always helped to talk to someone anyone ...... i hope i can help ... i want to help !!!!
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Avatar_m_tn
.Jess,you will be fine and this situation will pass and your life will get better.There is always hope and what you must understand is that time heals.You have your whole life ahead of you.Start again.
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Avatar_f_tn
I am very  thank you guys and I am sorry for very late answer. Actually, I am getting better day by day. First when I read you comments, I was crying all the time but then you give me better eyes and give me a hope to see the world how beautiful it is.
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