Dad Short Temper causing problems

[dmmchowdary]

Hi, I apologize as this is going to be long. I think I have to explain everything for correct diagnosis.

My father is 58 year old. As long as I know him, he had lot of altercations with neighbors, relatives, family friends and strangers. He is very short tempered and gets very angry when something he doesn’t like happens. At the same time he is good and gets very friendly. Probably too friendly for someone who he know since a day or two. So, He is extreme in both friendly-ness and enemy-ness. But his friendship doesn’t last long. Somewhere along the line, he gets irritated by something which results in an altercation. Anything said to him is taken with bad sense. He never accepts anything with a good sense. He got retired a year ago and now he’s got nothing else to do except to fight with as many as he can each day. I have noticed that many people try not to talk about someone they don’t like. My Dad is opposite to that. He talks and abuses a lot about the person he doesn’t like and gets restless. He also gets very angry. He never gets physical though.

He never thinks he is wrong and just doesn’t act with the situation. There are occasions where the other person might be wrong, but he could have reacted in a sensible way. I or no one in the family can get him accept that he is doing wrong and needs some kind of therapy or anger management sessions. We lost all our friends already due to his attitude. My mother says she had enough.

I searched online and found that this kind of behavior is not unique. It’s just that many people realize that they have to change and opt for various treatments available.

He is proud about his achievements and just doesn’t like anyone to step into his little square. He only wants to hear people accepting his ideas. He doesn’t like to hear NO.

I heard that it could be a form of depression too and anti-depressants might be helpful to even out his actions. Please suggest something. He is NOT going to undergo any therapy. Some medication is needed.

[mammo]

Your father is dealing with some deep seeded issues, provoking his anger, and his need to belittle others to feel good about himself.  He thrives on being confrontational.  He does need therapy, and medication would help a lot with all this also, but the problem is that he has to want help, to get help.  I don't see how you can persuade him to do this if he feels he is never wrong.  But if your mom is fed up, and with how you feel, maybe sitting down and talking with him may make him realize he needs help, or he may lose you both.  This is a difficult situation for you, and I commend you on trying to help your dad.  But somehow he has to admit that he needs help and is making the people he loves, and who love him, miserable.  Only a doctor can determine what medication would be best for your dad, so it's imperative that he see someone regarding his issues.
I wish you luck with this. I feel your dad is not a happy man and would truly benefit from therapy.  Take care.....