Depressed lotss

[s_e_a_s]

Hi I'v been feeling really down lately again I go through patches were I can be fine 4 a few weeks then get really bad were I don't even want to be here I'm always staying in bed and get my self that worked up I get sick I suffer severe anxiety and just feel I have no 1 who understands me I feel really alone an most of the time I pray 1 day il have the guts 2 put a end to it all I really don't want to be around anymore and have forgot what it feels like to be happy I feel really alone and don't really hav any friends I can properly talk to I don't no what to do anymore I'm that in happy my sister always says the way I am and the way I luk could make any one feel depressed because I always look that upset I hav no motivation or anything happy to think of to keep me goin jus feel like it's never ending I don't no were to go from here my doctors are rubbish and don't seem to listen a great deal I'm so unhappy I just wish I had a friend so much iv had enough of living this way

[s_e_a_s]

It's a bank holiday again I need 2 get 2 the docs ASAP got no medication left I'm surprised hw many people commented an hav actually been supportive thanks everyone x

[jennpugli]

What your going through with the circleling thoughts are called ruminating.  They drive me crazy too.  That's actually how I know I need an adjustment in my meds.  Hold on till you can get to the doc.  I was surprised everything was closed today I don't know why I expected everything to be open???  Ha Ha.

[s_e_a_s]

I no exacli how u feel it's so horrible! but we will try get through it together, I'm on my mobile phone so I can't really chek much out not to good with the website, were is it u are from we could stay in touch and when 1 ov us are having a bad day we can help each other through, it's good u have a understanding boss I left work over all the panic attacks and fear 1 day we will be happy again we've gta  fight 4 are lives back jus like ate friends commented on this post this might be a long run but we will get ther in the end, Ino how u feel when u say u have 2 hold back most of the time I jus sit 4 hours trying 2 persuade my self jus 2 take a load of pills n try sleep jus because I want 2 be at peace, but we can all stick together and with each others support we might just get some were this is the only place I can actually talk and say exactly what's on my mind, pm any time if u want to chat but jus look how many people support me there here 4 u 2 x

[NAfunk]

I am right there with you! I wanted to start the new year feeling great and having a good day today but I just couldn't get to that point. I slept late and then got up and had some toast with my GF on the porch. I try to hide my emotions from her bc don't want to scare her. She always thinks I'm crying bc of something she has done but I tell her it is me not her and that some days I just feel really sad and can't help it and there's not usually a reason. Sometimes I wonder if I'm really depressed or if I just have a hormone imbalance. I'm 30 years old, gay and have a lot in my life to be happy about but a lot of my days are spent battling emotions in my head and fighting back tears. I have tried antidepressants and I always had really bad side effects. Right now I'm on some supplements from my chiropractor called Neuroreplete that has a lot of 5HTP in it. Some days I'm great but then the slightest thing can come over me and I feel sad and want to cry. My parents love and accept me but for some reason when I'm feeling depressed I can't talk to them bc makes me more sad. I think maybe bc they know me so well and I can't hide how I feel. With most oft friends I can pretend I'm ok even though I'm not. Life shouldn't be this hard!! I want to be normal and fee like I have control over my life. Nothing is worse and more embarrassing than going to work and starting to cry for no reason. Luckily I have a great boss who also suffers from depression and anxiety. I want to help whoever I can and would love to be helped by others. I wanted to share my story to say that you are not alone! We can get through this together! Oh and I'm even going to a therapist once a month but she can't figure me out.

[s_e_a_s]

Thanks so much really appreciate it, feels betta 2 no I hav people 2 talk 2 and actually understand it's probably the worst point in my life but having people who understand and actually take the time out 2 help me I really appriciate it so much, hope u all have a good new year ahead thanks 4 the support feels betta knowing I can talk already xx

[xnymodel]

Sweety, I was in your emotional position and believe it or not there is a way out and it does not have to be ruler over your life and thoughts as it is at this moment...I promise...just as posted earlier you have us here to talk to and some of us know the exact emotion you are experiencing....when i was there I had no controle over my thoughts and didn't know who i was or why i was here anymore and to have a spiritually raised background "so to speak" that was one thing I never questioned until that moment in my life because I was so far gone in emotion yet had no one to talk to that could truly understand without being judgemental.....please know you have a friend here and many more as you see in the previous posts....I am always open to help and talk anytime okay....in any way I can because I would never want anyone to feel as I did for son long at one point in my life....okay....I will keep you in my prayers and if you need a friend you have one ...anytime....

[s_e_a_s]

Thanks 4 the support, tryd 2 book a doctors appointment when I woke up in the mornin they said to call back Tuesday so I have a while to wait, it's nearly half 3 now and I'm still wide awake head feels like it's going to explode jus can't switch of keep thinking the same things over and over again just feel so low like iv finally hit rock bottom and I don't want to talk about it to anyone I'm over analyzin situations that hav happend that won't get out my head feels like I just need answers and I'm Neva going to get them, I'm frightened incase I end up living so unhappy forever and soon as I'm left alone I try convince my self jus 2 have done with it all so I can be in peace iv 4 got how it feels 2 be happy Im not even 20 years old yet and people tell me aww ur stil a kid uv got everything to live for but I don't Wna live anymore I just needed a friend but even that wudnt help now I think it's gotten to far my mind Neva switches off and the thoughts take ova all the time hopefully some day il gave the guts 2 end all this

[jennpugli]

Its time to get some help.  Your suicidal and I've been there believe me!  You need to tell someone right away that you are having suicidal thoughts go to an ER if you have to.  There are medications out there that can turn your life completly around.  Try to be strong just a little longer.  Think to yourself whats the worst thing that can happen?  Your thinking about ending your life so anything you do will be better than that.  Heres a phone number for the suicide helpline the people on the other end will know what to do and say please give them a call.
1-800-273-TALK (8255)

[mammo]

Hi.  You can always talk to us and we definitely understand where you're coming from.  You have the classic symptoms of depression and you can't control how you feel!  If you are in therapy and it's not helping....find a new therapist.  If you're not taking medication for this you should consider it.  It will make you feel so much better while you work thru what may be causing your depression......but a cause may not be found and that's where medication plays a very important part.  Often depression is like any other medical condition requiring daily medication to control the symptoms and that's okay!
I know how you feel....I've been there and medication gave me back my life!  See a psychiatrist so you can get some relief, you needn't feel this way.  You have a life to live and depression is robbing you of this.  With medication you can take back your life!  We're here if you want to talk.