Depressed?

I was just wondering weather or not i actualy have depression, anyway, ill provide as much detail as possible.
im currently 19, and still in highschool i have trouble sleeping every night, i don't really choose when i sleep, for instance, when i try to sleep for school, say 12 am, i eith don't end up falling asleep till around 5-6 or get no sleep at all, and end up goign to school sleepless, when i come home from school i can get to sleep but thats because im completly out of energy, sleep seems to choose me instead of the other way around., last week, i went to school 3 times with no sleep at all.i never seem to want to do much i only do things based on being asked, i do hate myself, i never seem to have energy to do school work, it depresses me sinc ei have poor grades and can never attain my wanted career with my grades.i often think about suicide, especialy when i see couples, and when people talk about good greats or just generally enjoying themselves. i'd say i think aobut it an average between 1-3 times aday, but i cant remember the last day i haven't thought about it, not that id ever do it i would never want to hurt my parent especialy my mom whos been through alot in her life.i havent had a real relation ship with a girl since jr high, which essentialy made me insecure since i got cheated on lots of times which made me feel worthless we went out for a good year and a half, and ever sicne thne i've never felt the same, the relationship was a mess, she got alot of people to turn against me, saying thing that i never did, for what reason idk, sheemotionaly toyed with me. she was herself suicidal, often cut herself, and even got sent to the hospital on an attempt of suicide. i felt like i was depressed ever since the end of jr high. hi have no confidence in my self at all, often put myself down before i even attempt anything big ones being school, or relationship wise.i feel hopeless for my future, and in general, i don't feel like ill be anyone important or important to anyone but my family. anyway i could go on, theirs alot more to tel and sorry for the mess, this is all over the place, anyway, judging by the given information would you say im depressed? how badly? and should i get help and how would i, seeing im insecure and affraid to tell any one anything about this, hell i don't like askign help from teachers, makes mee feel stupid if i do, like i shouldnt need to ask for help.

[LeftCoastChick]

See you family doctor immediately, what you are feeling is not normal - you can feel better, but you need to go a.s.a.p. . Life is pretty rough for teenagers, it might be a good idea to have a pyschologist or psychiatrist talk with you.