Depression, Aggression, Anxiety, Panic - Prescribed Trazodone

[Teddygirl]

I know I have a lot to say, but I'm seriously seeking help, can somebody anybody point me in the right direction?

I have been dilligently trying to get help. I feel there is something terribly wrong with me and I don't know where to begin. I called my health net insurance company and they put me through to CHIPA. A clinician I spoke to referred me to a psychiatrist who told me that I have a hormonal imbalance - however he did not care to ask me of any panic attack incidences.

I don't know where to go or what to do, but my off and on mood swings, depression, anger and aggression is tearing me apart, and its affecting the ones i love, my boyfriend and my job. I was sexually abused as a child and for many years i held in all my pain and aggravations and I thought just maybe my emotions were pouring out after many years of supression?

I have been having panic attacks, during these attacks i can't breathe and i feel weak, and i don't even know whats going on, its like i'm not completely there in my head. I had a panic attack after going to a friends get together, I'm not going to lie but i consumed alcohol - i'm 22 its "legal". I got mad at my boyfriend because he told me "babe you're drunk cool it" i was angry because i felt he was trying to put me in my place in front of a bunch of people. I stormed off, things got worse, then i started yelling at him telling him that he is just like every other man in my life, he only wants to take advantage of me and f*** up my life. He yelled at me and told me at least i'm not like your dad who touched you since you were 9 and did **** to you. From there i snapped and smacked him in the face then he smacked me back. That night i almost walked in front of a truck, i was having hyperventilating attacks and fell on the ground, from there i felt like i lost track of time or there was some sort of gap because i don't even remember how i got surrounded by 5 cops, a fire truck and paramedic.

I'm worried the panic attacks are getting more and more frequent. I'm having crying spells, emotional moody problems, sadness, and Insomnia, and its affecting my relationship with my boyfriend, my job and my life.

My primary care physician wants to put me on Trazodone but i'm scared that it will make me worse, and i'm afraid it is going to affect my work performance when i'm on the job.

Somebody please help, I don't know what to do.

[Teddygirl]

No you don't sound like an idiot, i think there is wisdom in everything a person has to say...with age comes wisdom, and experience. 'Nam sounds like a horrifying thing to go through, my father in law has PTSD from viet nam and he is disabled his therapist cautions against any sort of war movie because he starts to sweat and he gets flash backs. I imagine my ordeal doesn't shed light to that. I was told i have a hormonal imbalance by a psychiatrist. I really am a little scared because I don't know what Trazodone will do to my mind. My mother in law keeps telling me I need to get on it. I can see what you mean by forcing yourself not to have panic attacks. The last I had one on May 31, 2008 when i couldn't breathe i litterally thought i was going to die, did you feel that way? I want to control it, and i want help before its too late. My boyfriend is good to me, I just wish i didn't put him through so much nonsense. I have a great life, and great family and friends i just wish i could control my emotions better. I guess the only thing we can do in life is get fed up with being sad, scared, and alone, and fight back against our feelings of self destruction. Thank you for the wisdom in your words, and look forward to hearing from you again.

[el_dave]

I don't know if I can be of any help to you, your experiences were certainly different from mine. Mine were from 'nam. But I had those panic attacks and mood swings and all.. used to hide in closets to get away from people, couldn't be in a crowd. The part about getting drunk and losing it is common, I can tell you it sounds just like everyday life back when I was a drunk. But the other part, the panic attacks and all.. I stopped them by force of will. That probably sounds stupid, but it's what happened. I "just said no" to it. I'd feel it coming on, and I'd so what we used to do on LSD when things would begin to go sour.. just kind of "ride the wave", suspending thought until better thoughts came. I hope I don't sound like too much of an idiot to you, but it worked for me.

Hooray for you, resisting the drugs. That should be a last resort for sure.