Depression-Learning-Memory

I am a male who has grown up with a learning, memory, and depression problem. I get some relief from a combination of Paxil and Serzone. I am off them now. I have a very difficult time solving problems and my memory across the board is poor. I am not sad. I am angry and tired of this struggle. I considered giving up years ago and made one final decision...I am in this struggle no matter what. I am hoping to find some answers and some relief. The medications help but are not an answer to what the heck is going on with me. I am not able to work a good full time job because I get to upset at the difficulty I have with mental processing. I can not KEEP THINGS STRAIGHT. I am frustrated by the difficulty and embarrassed by the constant problem. I did abuse drugs and alcohol for some years. I am 62 and would like to know if there are any medications that are more specific to memory/learning/depression. Like I said I have not felt sad but frustrated and discouraged at how hard it is for me to function. Many people do not believe that I am depressed because I do not go around sad looking. I keep going but I am really stressed and tired of this struggle. I have tried many of the antidepressants and the combination of Paxil and Serzone have helped some. I have seen a psychologist in the past for a few years and came to terms with the problem but still have found no answer or real relief. Are there more specific drugs related to Memory/learning/depression? And I am interested in any feedback about what others may think of my struggle. Thank you.
Karl L.

[help56766]

I am a 24 years old. Throughout college I was sidetracked by my own thoughts, wondering if I was stupid because i can't think of things to say on the spot. I also can't remember celebrities names for the life of me, I started quizing myself in high school when i noticed that i'd watch the same show back to back for a couple of hours, and not be able to tell you the name of some of the characters.
i'd never been diagnosed with learning dissabilities and was actually diagnosed as gifted in grade school. I did struggle with depression, could cry at the drop of a hat and smacked myself at how frustrated I got with how I couldn't remember anything.  (i'm always missing turns in the car, just like my mother) I was also depressed for many reasons including major insecurities. Finally it got so bad that I went to a councelor again and she put me on lexapro. She diagnosed me with bits a peices of attention deficit disorder before this, but my main problem was depression and anxiety bc a lot of things were just piling up. The meds helped only by taking away my most terrible thoughts. The one things that really worked for me I had to ask for. It's adderall (adderrall). I am so much stronger now, and I have accomplished so much just because it stabalized my emotions. I am still very forgetful (but know one says anything about it). I am much more confident now and am a different person. I studied for the LSAT and took on a big project, which is something I never would have done without it. good luck to you. I know what its like to be frustrated with your own thoughts. I'm sure its not as big of a deal as you think to others.