Depression after surgery

[islandgrl47]

I've been relatively healthy all my life mostly because I don't get colds, flu etc and also because I don't normally go to doctors for them to tell me something is wrong. The beginning of the year I went for my annual pelvic exam and mamography which I put off for 6 years because of being busy and because I felt fine but felt like Iv'e put it off long enough and this is the year to finally take care of myself. I am so depressed!!!! My kids are finally at the age where I don't have to do everything for them and finally got some free time to myself and all I am doing now is going from one stupid medical test to the next. Since January 15th I have had 3 ultrasounds, a pelvic mri, abdominal mri, 3 blood tests, a mamogram which was highly suspicious which led to another mamogram which led to a breast biopsy being told I could have breast cancer, to a ovarian cyst where one report was worse than the one before it and could not rule out cancer until that was yanked out. A CT scan with contrast.  Yes surgery went fine but the 3 months of anxiety going into it has drained me. And now the pre-operative chest x-ray showed a pericardial cyst which another CT was performed and came back inconclusive so I have to go to another doctor to get a refereal for a cardiologist just so he can send me for another CT, bloodwork, EKG and probable removal of the cyst which will entail a thoracic surgery 4 freaking scars, more anesthesia 2 to 3 day hospital stay and 3 freaking months of down time. I feel beaten down, angry, I snap at everyone. Anxious and I don't want to bother doing anything but stay home and ignore everyone. I am annoyed because I need to loose weight because I am disgusted by the 40 pounds I gained over the past 15 years and can't loose an ounce despite any type of diet or exercise I have done. Literally, I finally made up my mind to loose weight and not give up this time and ordered these great cardio tapes on Wednesday and on Thursday I was told I have a large heart cyst and not recommended for strenous exercise. Today is Friday and they just came in the mail. Big freaking cosmic joke! I just want to scream!! Thanks for letting me vent.

[islandgrl47]

Hi it's been a while. I am passed the pity depression stage. Now I'm just mad. But that comes from having the people around you that you trust, take advantage of you after you have done nothing but support them. I would call it my " looking out for number one" stage and don't cross me cause I will pounce. (a little pathetic but therapeutic)

[Jaquta]

Sorry for not being more helpful.  I'm having issues with my own health care providers and feel at that screaming stage too.  Venting does help and also helps to process the information.

You've had a lot of recent health issues which all contribute to making you feel more vulnerable.  There are losses to deal with too.

Have you spoken to your doctor about the possibility of depression?

[islandgrl47]

I appreciate your response. Control maybe an issue. Speaking with someone could benefit. Thanks.

[Jaquta]

It sounds as though your life may not have been well balanced before all this health stuff.
Having all that go on is likely to make anyone feel depressed.
There are times when everything feels like it is conspiring against you.

Venting is important.  Have you thought about seeing a counsellor or psychotherapist to talk all this stuff through with?

I think part of the problem could be that you feel you have no control over your situation.  Going for tests/ treatment, etc is making a decision and being proactive about your future.

I don't think it is necessary to do hard exercise in order to lose weight.  You may just need to revisit your nutritional intake (to compensate for the decreased activity levels).  You could ask for advice on weight loss on the weight loss and healthy lifestyle expert forum.
I like some of the newsletters on shrinkyourself.com.  I find that they can be quite enlightening.