Depression and Depersonalization hopeless feelings? HELP

[Meara_Brown]

Does anyone have any advice for the feeling of constant sadness and feeling like nothing is real. I feel like it's going to be this way forever and I'm never gonna live a normal life. I don't even feel real. I don't feel like I'm alive like I did as a little kid. I am only 13 and this has been going on for over a year. I feel completely hopeless. I take meds and I think my doctor is going to change them. I take 50 MG of Zoloft everyday. Is a possible side-affect of Zoloft worsening depression, because I see on commercials for anti-depressants that side-affects can be new or worsening depression. I just really need some tips and advice. My mom said it could be something hormonal because I'm at that age and I haven't even had my first period yet. And isn't depression/anxiety a chemical imbalance in  your brain or something? Also I am scared to sleep because I am scared I will die in my sleep and not be able to control it. Is this dangerous? Is it possible I will be this way forever? PLEASE HELP ME!   Any help is greatly appreciated. And with depersonalization or the feeling of nothing being real, most people only have it occasionally but I have it constantly. I am so sad and feel hopeless and I am scared to die. I cry everyday several times for no reason. I go to the doctor tomorrow and I think I will have to get blood work done or change my medicine. But I am scared to get my blood drawn because last time the people tried to pin me down and I almost passed out the first time they tried to get the blood out because they missed my vain and nothing came out so the needle was just in my arm for like 10 seconds. I ended up screaming and crying and I got kicked out. Also I am scared to pass out. I am very scared to try new medication because I've been on mine for over a year and I'm scared what will happen when I go off of it. I'm also scared of potential side-affects for a new medicine. I worry immensely that a new medicine will kill me somehow or kill me in my sleep. PLEASE HELP.
    -Meara

[Meara_Brown]

I think we are getting a new counselor. My doctor said once a week.

[remar]

The important thing is that you like the counselor. Have you liked any of the 3 you've seen? If so, tell your mom you want to keep seeing that one.
Once a month is not enough therapy. It would be great if you could go once a week.

[Meara_Brown]

My parents divorced when I was a toddler, like 3 or 4. It is not an issue for me at all. I am happy they divorced because if they didn't I wouldn't have my half-brother or half-sister, or my step-mom. I do see a counselor about once a month, but my mom hasn't seemed to like any counselor I have had yet and I've had 3. So I haven't gotten far with a single counselor yet.

[remar]

Are you in therapy? If not, I highly recommend it.
It could be that you either need a med increase or a new med altogether.
I've read your story in another forum and I see that your parents are divorced. How did you do when they went through the divorce? It can be very hard on children.
Does you Dr know that you're not doing well?