Depression hurts, I dont know what can help!

[laner]

I am 18 years old. I was in a car accident in Febuary that injuried my mom. Along with the guilt I do feel, I am reminded that I almost killed her. Often. I didnt drive for 9 months and then I moved in with my dad and drove for one month. When I first started driving I was just afraid of the express way and I would have anxiety attacks while driving. Over the weeks however new, random, things started giving me anxiety attacks. For example running a yellow light, or someone too close to my side of the rode. Stuff that I didnt use to get afraid of. They then turned into panic attacks. The last time I drove I had a panic attack with my little brother in the car because I ran a yellow light. I cant drive.. It is the worst thing ever. I cant get into another wreck. I had to move back in with my grandma because I couldnt drive. Which has caused alot of family drama because my father hates her. Ontop of this ongoing problem I have had some major problems with depression. I cannot get out of bed most days and I sleep all my days away. The only place I can go and be a little bit happy is work. I love working and talking to people, when im alone I just get so depressed when Im alone. Nothing helps my depression anymore. I used to cut myself or hurt myself physically. But after I went to the hospital for cutting myself that doesnt even work anymore. I just feel so depressed it hurts all the time. I get headaches in the back of my head and I just feel so empty. My mom thinks I am just dumb. I made an appointment with my doctor to talk to him about my depression that has now lasted for 4 years and she thought it was the worst idea ever. She said he would just think I want attention or drugs or something. I dont, I just want to feel better. This is killing me. I dont know what to do.

[Jaquta]

The person said that they struggle to get out of bed and sleep most days.  When things get that bad you can feel extremely shut down and can just want to hide form everything.

Talking here is different to getting appropriate medical support though.

The way you look at stuff doesn't work for me, although it may work for others.
The moment that you say that you are NOT a depressed individual that is what you focus on, that you are a depressed individual.

I think we're all possibly trying to say the say thing but in different ways.  I perceive this to be a communication problem.

A visit to a psychiatrist is good advice.

[Hopeless29]

I did mention the followin in the first post.
""Even though the doctors scare  us thru difrent terminologies & symptoms they do justice for their profession so it would be better if u visit a doctor on the course.the anti depressants too gives us help at times.

when u start to believe that u r not depressed at all and its jus a lean phase of mental upset and now  r alrighy,definitely u will find conidence running high within u and am sure u could get away with this very easily than u have thought of.""

which means i did agreed u have depression but not to an extent of rolling urself in a corner & stay dumb.U speakin out what ur prob is which is u r depressed and hence u must be clear and must not be much discouraged that ur problem of the past has got u into depression which will make u feel more depressed.
I insisted u should meet a psychiatrist which will yield positive results for sure as u r feeling something's wrong.
Visit to a psychiatrist and u gonna be alright provided ur belief in urself that ur not a strong depressed individual and feel sure things gona be easy for u.
God bless

[Jaquta]

Your mother is wrong.  It could be that she is afraid for you (of being judged, etc) or that she is afraid for herself (having to confront her own issues).

I would strongly encourage you to make and keep a doctor's appointment.

I would also ask to be referred to a psychiatrist and also for psychotherapy.

You sound extremely depressed and anxious.  I would also query the possibility of ptsd.  It is something that I think a doctor should screen for.

Something has also happened, before the car accident, that has distressed you and needs working through.  I think you need psychotherapy to help you work through the underlying issues.  Medication may also want to be considered.

[j17c27]

Yeah...I disagree with the first post too.  It does sound like you have depression, and its great your posting and talking about it.  I think you could really benefit from therapy, and possibly medication.  Medication lessens the symptoms while therapy gets to the root of your issues and helps build you back up into a strong and happy person.  Together, they are a very effective treatment.  If you've been hurting yourself, thats a clear sign you need help.  And its great youve joined this site and are going to see a doctor.  And being depressed does not make you dumb...its a serious condition.  But there is help and you can get better! I'm sure that with therapy and time for healing, you will be able to drive again with confidence.  Im so sorry about the accident you got in.  But instead of being so hard on yourself because your mom got hurt, remember that she is still here and she is still alive and be thankful about that.

I wish you well

[junglebot]

Wow.  I really disagree with the previous post.  :(

To me, it does sound like you've been depressed for awhile (your ability to write in complete sentences and use correct grammar has nothing to do with it), and I think that talking to your doctor was a good plan.  I'm sorry that your mom wasn't very supportive when she found out.  Did you have to cancel the appointment after your mom found out?  If so, I think it really would help for you to make another one.  If that's not a possibility, maybe you could just call the doctor and ask for recommendations for a psychiatrist?  It sounds like talking to a professional would be in your best interest.

Also, going to talk to a professional about this definitely does NOT mean that you just want attention or drugs - it means that you've realized that something isn't going right, and you're trying to get help to fix it.

Good luck, and please don't get discouraged!

[laner]

Well, I have had problems with depression for the last 4 years, before the car accident. I know I have alot of guilt about what happened and that is contributing. But I do think I am depressed because of how long it has been going on. I have talked to people before about it, just not anyone professional. I dont think it has everything to do with the car accident, it is alot of family things that are going on right now.

[Hopeless29]

Its high time u fix an appointment wit a genuine psychiatrist.
Due think am gonna say that? no.first of all u r not depressed at all, no depressed person will be able to put up their problems this clearly.U are actually mentally upset to a great extent thats it. U need not visit ur doc but u should sit and analyse urself again on what went wrong.Its simple. Ur love on ur mom made u feel more guilty and that has led to varied moods pertinent to the action (driving)which has led to the injury of ur mom. U should try to believe that its not all ur fault and destiny plays a role too on every happening.
On gettin scared while driving, u must trust in urself that u drive rightly. It might seem a funny idea but i would suggest u to try car or bike race games on computer.eed for speed etc. there r plenty.. keep playing them get addicted to it for sometime.

Even though the doctors scare  us thru difrent terminologies & symptoms they do justice for their profession so it would be better if u visit a doctor on the course.the anti depressants too gives us help at times.

when u start to believe that u r not depressed at all and its jus a lean phase of mental upset and now  r alrighy,definitely u will find conidence running high within u and am sure u could get away with this very easily than u have thought of.

God bless