Depression or Anxiety???

[meatball01]

About 12 years ago after I lost my brother I had a panic attack and the doctor tried me on every antidepressant out there. I had adverse effect on all and it made my anxiety sky rocket. The doctor finally prescribed ativan .5 mg during the day and .5 mg klonopin at night. After I realized I wasn't really dieing, I got my life back under control.  After 8 years I weaned myself off the ativan but stayed on the Klonopin at night. Last December 09, I had some real bad family issues, put my 13 year old dog own, feared losing my job and my husband a heavy smoker got a terrible cold and coughed all night long, this went on for months. I thought I was handling things really well. The end of January my doctor just switched my Klonopin to Xanax, same mg. without even telling me why. I remember her telling me before all the binsos are the same so I took the xanax and thought it was the best thing in the world because it put me to sleep fast and I had the best night sleep in months. Then in March when I went for my normal physical she told me she wanted to wean me off the xanax. I told her if I had something to help me sleep I thought I could. She prescribed ambian. I know how I am with meds (adverse effects) so I waited about 2 weeks and took the ambian. That night just after almost asleep I woke with the stomach flu. Sick as a dog and couldn't sleep in between the vomiting because I was wired from the ambian. From that day on I haven't been right. That was on a Weds night, I stayed home from work on Thursday, back to work on Friday and felt real nervous. Friday night I took my xanax, went to bed and almost asleep when my husband took one of his coughing fits ( I worry about him having lung cancer) and I woke feeling so nervous, shaking all over, feeling like I couldn't swallow and like my tongue was swelling. I got up scared to death and took another xanax. I did go to sleep and woke the next morning real nervous. I went to the doctor and on Monday and she told me I was having panic attacks and put me on efflexor. I took it for 3 days and thought I was going to end up in the ER. Couldn't work, eat, sleep, nothing but fear!!! I quit taking the efflexor and the doctor put me on trazdone ? on spelling. I seemed to tolerate that better but still lots of Anxiety. After several visits to the doctor and weeks off from work with fear of losing my job I finally got an appointment with a psychiatrist. She told me the change from klonopin to xanax at the most anxious time of my life was the worst possible thing the doctor could have done. Also, the efflexor made things worse too. The doctor changed me back to klonopin 1 mg this time and told me to take 1/2 xanax when really bad. I am sleeping a little better now but still wake up several times a night with night sweats and still have a lot of nervous feelings all day. I am defiantly NOT the same person I was. I have had NO appetite since March 11. I make myself eat and drink ensure. I went from 120 lbs to 108, I feel like setting at my desk at work is TORTURE. I can't even enjoy my love of my life (my 2 1/2 year old granddaughter) because I get to nervous when she's around. I hurt in my back (kidney area/butt and neck and my family can't believe I'm not better yet. I am scheduled for stomach tests on July 7 to make sure their not missing anything and the wait is killing me because all I do is WORRY. I quit taking the xanax all together. I hope I will be back to my old self soon. I have improved, at least I can work but it's hard. Some good days and some BAD. Sorry to write so much but it feels good to get this off my chest. I am 51 now and I'm not handling this as well as I did 12 years ago. I found this site and feel like I'm not the only one out there losing my mind. Just to mention I smoke too, wish I didn’t. Me and my husband have tried everything to quit. I never have smoked as much as him but lately have smoked more than ever because of the anxiety. That seems to be the only thing that calms me. I am also a Christian, and I know if it weren’t for the Lord above I would be with him in heaven right now because HE is the only one that has helped me get though this.


I have suffered from anxiety all my life. People there is only 1 thing that will help you and I promise this is the best remedy!! Call upon the Lord and read your Bible. I have tried everything and lately I have been spending a lot of time in the Word of God! Try reading The Psalms. 103, 34, etc. David suffered anxiety worse that any of us. Please try the Lord and I promise He won’t let you down. It won’t be a miraculous healing right away but give Him time and he will get you through it. I have always been a believer and prayed for my family. During my worse attacks I would pray and feel like the prayers were bouncing off the ceiling, then one day I realized I was always asking God for healing or help and not loving him. Instead of  praying for help spend some time with the Lord.  If you want, I can give you several verses that helped me. Also, try reading Battleship of the Mind. You can get the book a Wal-Mart. Read my profile I am and have been a mess for a long time but now I have more hope that any doctor has ever given me. Jesus is the GREAT PHYSICIAN!

[mjbrown]

No need to apologize. I am sure there are many people who appreciated your post. Religion is a powerful and helpful force in many people's lives. Unfortunately, it also tends to be a very sensitive topic. We are all in the same boat, and we are all here for each other, so I (personally) think it's best to avoid any unnecessary debates. I am glad that your faith has helped you through your tough times. I found the description of your experience with xanax and klonopin very helpful. I was just switched from xanax to klonopin today, and it was good to hear what I might expect. Thanks!

All the best..

[meatball01]

I'm sorry about the "preaching".  I accidentally copy and pasted the last part on this forum.  That was used for a reply to someone who is a believer and had asked me for help. I save everything on word so I can use it when needed.

[mjbrown]

Talking about god is not inappropriate in and of itself. Protheletizing is. There are many people of different faiths here - and those who do not have any religion. People come here for support for their anxiety / depression, not to be preached to or converted. I think she (and everyone else) needs to respect that. There are other forums that are religiously-oriented, and those would be a more appropriate for this type of thing.

[opus88]

sorry but I don't agree...why should talking abt God be any more inappropriate than talking abt any other forms of treatment alternatives?
she was just expressing her opinion in what helped her to get through each day and I think we need to respect that.

[mjbrown]

I am glad that you are seeing a psychiatrist instead of your primary care physician to help manage your anxiety / panic. I am also glad that you have found comfort in your religion. However, it is inappropriate to protheletize on these forums.

All the best..