Aa
Depression
i've been told i have depression. I was wondering... could my lack of emotions be a result of that? Im almost always sad or angry... is my depression the reason why?
If I can help I will.
Im now 40 though still feel 23.
Looking back I have had depression since I was 7.
I like to feel that I have an amazing memory but when I am in a depression I can not remember much.
How I found out I got depression is a long story, but its not like cutting your hand open and seeing bloody or coming out with a rash on your face... depression is in your head and unless you are totally aware of many of us simply have no idea - I did not even know myself that I had depression, I thought that everyone felt like me!
There are so many different types of depression that it is important to identify the right one.
I have since met people with Bi-Polar - their symptoms are vastly different to mind.
I can cope with death, trauma, stress and almost anything. I get Endogenous Depression - that means from within, apparently it is quite rare.
For me i LOVE being sad, and ADORE being unhappy as I am experiencing an emotion. Its a different thing feeling sad to being 'down' when suffering a depression.
I send you all my love, the one thing that angers me most is people's conception on what it is saying pull yourself together and dont be silly everyone gets sad or those idiots who proclaim they were sad and crying for 2 weeks after splitting up from a loved one. It's totally different and sometimes impossible to explain.
Depression is a disease.
Its horrible. Like cancer eats away at your blood cells, depression squeezes happiness, innovation, hope, desires and drive out of your physical make up. Its almost like being possessed by a bad spirit.
I got angry with myself for being down but did not know a reason why I had something that I did not know I had got - if that makes sense!! I have had lots of counselling but for me they say there is nothing wrong with me and I know there is nothing wrong with me, there are no skeletons in my cupboard as for some reason I am able to cope brilliantly and understand myself well. Apart from psychiatrists wanting me to give up my day job and be a psychiatrist too as they say Im a natural (!!!!) I have been told lovely complementary things about my mental health and general make up.
The issue is that my brain lacks a few chemicals and I get depression - between us have discovered that I seem to have Endogenous Depression.
I am now trying to understand other forms of depression. Perhaps one day I will give up my career and focus on mental health or something as I find it fascinating.
From my point of view, all I can do is talk and hope others read. Others have helped me so much. I want to pass on to others what I know.
I have totally changed my diet - I now live 80% on juices (jason vine books!) when I have a Mcdonalds I feel groggy. You are what you eat. The more I excercise the more the world seems a better place. When I dont excercice it is sometimes very difficult to motivate myself to start again but when I do the feeling is enlightening. Doing physical activity to the point you sweat and feel puffed out helps create the happy chemicals in your body.
I did like to smoke and drink but now only drink wine. I dont smoke anymore. I have to remain addicted to life and a healthy lifestyle as otherwise I one day fear I would do something stupid. I sincerely understand why people kill themselves as the depression is sometimes so uncontrollable the only way out is to end your life.
Its not about not being able to cope with a life trauma like a lost loved one, being made bankrupt or whatever, its a horrible disease that sadly is not really recognised by society and again sadly many take advantage of by taking time off work by using depression as an excuse. Sadly you do not come out in spots when you have depression so it is sometimes extremely difficult to diagnose.
To sum up, the best thing I have ever done in my life was to acknowledge what I had and face up to it like an alcoholic admitting he has a drink problem. I still do not take medication as I want my inner self and inner drive to conquer it before I resort to popping pills daily.
I am not a medic and so do not take my true word though many medics now consult me and grill me on depression as apparently I describe it well and I often like to do tasks for them like not sleep for 4 days and see if that triggers depression or eat rubbish for a week or whatever.
If you are depressed, I plead with you - go on a walk, a long walk then run then go on a X-trainer and work your heart to breaking point so you are dripping with sweat. Then live on freshly made juice for a week (jason vine books) - fight the addiction to sugar, bread and pasta. Just live off the juices. I guarantee you will feel enlightened. It wont conquer the depression but it will make the world seem a better place.
To all those who are depressed because of deaths, missing loved ones, job issues etc - again my heart goes out to you, this is a different form of being down that I simply can not comprehend and am trying to understand right now. It is fair to say that you are in a depression also but equally you are far more likely to snap out of it than someone who is medically depressed.
take care everyone x
take care xxxx
Im now 40 though still feel 23.
Looking back I have had depression since I was 7.
I like to feel that I have an amazing memory but when I am in a depression I can not remember much.
How I found out I got depression is a long story, but its not like cutting your hand open and seeing bloody or coming out with a rash on your face... depression is in your head and unless you are totally aware of many of us simply have no idea - I did not even know myself that I had depression, I thought that everyone felt like me!
There are so many different types of depression that it is important to identify the right one.
I have since met people with Bi-Polar - their symptoms are vastly different to mind.
I can cope with death, trauma, stress and almost anything. I get Endogenous Depression - that means from within, apparently it is quite rare.
For me i LOVE being sad, and ADORE being unhappy as I am experiencing an emotion. Its a different thing feeling sad to being 'down' when suffering a depression.
I send you all my love, the one thing that angers me most is people's conception on what it is saying pull yourself together and dont be silly everyone gets sad or those idiots who proclaim they were sad and crying for 2 weeks after splitting up from a loved one. It's totally different and sometimes impossible to explain.
Depression is a disease.
Its horrible. Like cancer eats away at your blood cells, depression squeezes happiness, innovation, hope, desires and drive out of your physical make up. Its almost like being possessed by a bad spirit.
I got angry with myself for being down but did not know a reason why I had something that I did not know I had got - if that makes sense!! I have had lots of counselling but for me they say there is nothing wrong with me and I know there is nothing wrong with me, there are no skeletons in my cupboard as for some reason I am able to cope brilliantly and understand myself well. Apart from psychiatrists wanting me to give up my day job and be a psychiatrist too as they say Im a natural (!!!!) I have been told lovely complementary things about my mental health and general make up.
The issue is that my brain lacks a few chemicals and I get depression - between us have discovered that I seem to have Endogenous Depression.
I am now trying to understand other forms of depression. Perhaps one day I will give up my career and focus on mental health or something as I find it fascinating.
From my point of view, all I can do is talk and hope others read. Others have helped me so much. I want to pass on to others what I know.
I have totally changed my diet - I now live 80% on juices (jason vine books!) when I have a Mcdonalds I feel groggy. You are what you eat. The more I excercise the more the world seems a better place. When I dont excercice it is sometimes very difficult to motivate myself to start again but when I do the feeling is enlightening. Doing physical activity to the point you sweat and feel puffed out helps create the happy chemicals in your body.
I did like to smoke and drink but now only drink wine. I dont smoke anymore. I have to remain addicted to life and a healthy lifestyle as otherwise I one day fear I would do something stupid. I sincerely understand why people kill themselves as the depression is sometimes so uncontrollable the only way out is to end your life.
Its not about not being able to cope with a life trauma like a lost loved one, being made bankrupt or whatever, its a horrible disease that sadly is not really recognised by society and again sadly many take advantage of by taking time off work by using depression as an excuse. Sadly you do not come out in spots when you have depression so it is sometimes extremely difficult to diagnose.
To sum up, the best thing I have ever done in my life was to acknowledge what I had and face up to it like an alcoholic admitting he has a drink problem. I still do not take medication as I want my inner self and inner drive to conquer it before I resort to popping pills daily.
I am not a medic and so do not take my true word though many medics now consult me and grill me on depression as apparently I describe it well and I often like to do tasks for them like not sleep for 4 days and see if that triggers depression or eat rubbish for a week or whatever.
If you are depressed, I plead with you - go on a walk, a long walk then run then go on a X-trainer and work your heart to breaking point so you are dripping with sweat. Then live on freshly made juice for a week (jason vine books) - fight the addiction to sugar, bread and pasta. Just live off the juices. I guarantee you will feel enlightened. It wont conquer the depression but it will make the world seem a better place.
To all those who are depressed because of deaths, missing loved ones, job issues etc - again my heart goes out to you, this is a different form of being down that I simply can not comprehend and am trying to understand right now. It is fair to say that you are in a depression also but equally you are far more likely to snap out of it than someone who is medically depressed.
take care everyone x
take care xxxx
If your seeking treatment, I'm going to give you the advice to take medication and therapy at the same time. Medicine lessens the symptoms (you said you feel sad and angry) while therapy gets to the root of things and helps build you back up. It can be very powerful and I wish you well with this. Depression is not an easy thing to battle, but keep up the fight!
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You are having emotions that are typical of depression. Depression robs you of positive feeling and depresses the good feelings we can get out of life.
With treatment you can find your way back to your usual self so stick with what your doctor prrescribes and know you are not alone with this illness. Take care.