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Depression
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Depression

I guess I'm so to new all of this that I do not understand depression.  I never thought of myself as depressed but my daughter has noticed changes in my behavior over the past 3 years.  She says that I used to be so outgoing, always on the move but now I'm a recluse.  I tend to stick by myself - I've even isolated my family.  The weird part is at work I'm still outgoing, and fun-loving.  Does the real me come out at home?  Can someone explain what depression is and what are the classic symptoms?  Maybe I'm depressed and didn't even know it.  Every weekend, I try to get out and go with friends or family but I always end up canceling or just not showing up.   I've never thought about my actions before I joined this community?  
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Avatar_m_tn
I think everyones experience with depression is always a little different.
Not to mention that there are many different types and severity levels of Major Depressive dissorder.

For some they can be caused by past life trama, and for others (like me) I just seem to have a chemical imballance deep in the mood regulating part of my brain.

For me the closest I could describe a true severe Major depressive dissorder is that it feels like you have a mad swurling tempist in your head. You can't think, you can't eat, your concentration level gets so bad that you can't even read a childs book.

You will have this constant feeling of impending doom and dread swurling thru your head and body as if something tragic has happened, yet noting bad has really happened to make you feel that way.

You can't sleep and when you do you can not wake up and face the day.
You can have physical symptoms such as a heavy feeling in your body and head and legs. Often times this depression also has very severe anxiety associated with it which makes your body tremble all the time. Your hands will shake. You will often feel dizzy and disattached from the world around you.

Your level of daily fuctioning will drop to almost zero. Even the simple act of taking a shower will seem like too large a task to deal with.

So at least that is my experience with depression. It really is much like living hell on earth.

On the other hand, there are (like I said) less severe forms of depression. Mine happens to be very severe and refractory. People like me often don't make it and I am well aware that my condition is not just going to go away. It must be treated with many differnt medications just for me to partally function and be able to live.
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Avatar_f_tn
Thanks for the definition -- I now understand that my daughter is probably correct in saying that I'm depressed.  I have such a lack of motivation or energy to even complete everyday tasks.  This has made my daily life miserable.  You mentioned medications in your post -- any suggestions?  I know medications work differently on individuals but I'm currently taking Adderall (adderrall) XR 60mg, Mirapex and Clonazepam when needed.  Is there a depression medication that you are aware of that does not have any interactions with the medications listed above.  
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Avatar_m_tn
I don't want to question your doctors decision to have you on adderall (adderrall) and mirapex. On the other hand IF and only if your diagnosis is Major depression (either uni-polar or bi-polar) then I do find those two medications very unusual for any Psychiatrist to prescribe.

First off, Adderall (adderrall) is a central nervous system stimulant. It affects chemicals in the brain and nerves that contribute to hyperactivity and impulse control. Amphetamine-dextroamphetamine is used to treat narcolepsy and attention deficit dissorder.

Probably not a good med choice for someone suffering from Major depression and anxiety.

Second, Mirapex is generally prescribed for restless leg syndrome. as for the Clonazapam that is simply a short acting benzodiazaphine to help with anxiety dissorder.

I don't know your exact professional diagnosis, but the medications that your taking have me concerned. Questions in my mind are as follows

1. Hvae you been to see a Board certified Psychiatrist regarding your symptoms?
2. have you also gotten a second opinion on your diagnosis from a very respected psychiatrist.
3. Is this medication combination working for you?

My guess is probably none of the above. Again I find the meds that your taking verses the symptoms your described to be unusual and worth getting a second opinion on.

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Avatar_f_tn
That doesn't sound like depression to me. I have had depression two times and that doesn't sound like depression. What do you take those medications for?
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Avatar_f_tn
I'm not taking any medication for depression - I was simply asking what depression felt like in my original post.  My oldest daughter mentioned that there was a change in my behavior -- lately -- sad, recluse, and just not myself as she says.  My diagnosis --
I have been diagnosed with Adult ADD - well, actually diagnosed with ADD ages ago.  Now, after my heart attack last year, the cardiologist requested that I take a sleep study to determine if I had sleep apnea - well the study showed no apnea, but I have periodic limb movement -- I guess that would be the same as Restless Leg Syndrome, that's why I take Mirapex -- the doctors also discovered that I never reach the 2nd stage of sleep where your body actually gets the rest it needs.  So, an hour before I go to bed I take 1.5mg of Mirapex and 2mg of Clonazapam (actually I take 1 mg around 5pm and then another around 8pm) -- All prescriptions have been prescribed to me by my neurologist who specializes in ADD.  Should I schedule an appointment with a Psychiatrist?  If so, how do I find one that specializes in Adult ADD (I do not have the HD part of ADD) Mine is more the inability to focus and complete tasks.  I'm now suffering from low energy and extreme fatigue.  Any advice? Could it be the combination of medication that is causing the lack of energy.  I am very active -- I walk/run 5 miles a day -- right now, I'm having troubles with my elevated WBC -- check out my other posts.  Please let me know what you think.
Thanks!

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Avatar_m_tn
Hi Barbie,

To solve your puzzle about being outgoing etc at work and otherwise outside work let me say I was like that.

I could walk in the door to work and be who I'd always been there. Cool, calm, happy, on top of it all. Walk out after work and I was a mess.

I eventually solved the puzzle. It's this simple. At home I was in a world of relationships I had never mastered. I'd been let down over the years and lacked trust and confidence in myself. Always expecting to be left, abandoned and so on There were no rules.

At work there were always rules and I thought they were great as we all knew what to do, how to do it and any aberration behaviour wise was dealt with as it should be. Counselling and punishment as needed.

You see the difference? At work I was on solid ground and it was always solid once I knew the rules and moved up. At home there were no rules as what happened yesterday couold mean nothing today. I was on sand, quicksand.

So, simply put, it's about confidence adn being able to rely on standards of behaviour. At work you should be able to but at home people do what they want, not what we want.
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Avatar_f_tn
Wow, I never thought of it like that before but you are so right!  I've had so many rocky relationships, plus I live with an alcoholic, so you never know what to expect when you walk through the door.  Thanks for finally giving me some clarification. I completely understand it now.
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