Detached and surreal sense of existence

Hello all. Because I find it stressful on itself to type on a phone, I will keep this short. I'm 18 years old, have already been to a psych ward and have been diagnosed with major depression, anxiety disorder and agoraphobia. I am scared to death (no pun intended) of living. This existence doesn't make any sense to me and everything in my environment looks frightening and grim. Small details like clouds for example spark extreme fear and hopelessness. I can't seem to understand any purpose to anything, to me we all seem to be just a terrible dream. I want to cry, but can't. Help? :(

[Poo44clooner]

You poor thing. All these thoughts that you are experiencing are due to depression and anxiety. I know I have had them since childhood and am 50y/o now. The littlest things used to freak me out, the sights, the sounds, etc. Who I was, was I really here? All those thoughts can make you go bonkers. I wonder if you are on the right meds, or if you have the right doc.
You are still so young and have not been given a chance to live life because of these mind distortions. I hope you are in counseling and/or in a group.
At least you have us here. You are not crazy, you will make it through this terrible patch in your life. Hold on to life because it is real.
We are here for you anytime,
Angela