Self low esteem is really common with depression. I know I felt worthless, and why should any one have anything to do with me? But really we are all unique and worthy of love,specially to love ourselves. I know it is hard.
You take care now and think of yourself as beautiful, because you are. We all are.
You sound like you could really benefit from talking to a professional counselor, you seem to have a lot to say, you're open to feedback and discussion. You're a perfect candidate for talk therapy, give it a shot!
Thanks for all the answers I really needed them.
To Remar no one has ever said anything to me
You have a low self esteem. I remember saying to a doctor's receptionist, "I was a nice person before I got depression." I also thought myself fat and ugly. All part of depression. Are you on anti-depressant medication?
I hide myself away when I am ill. Now I am on medication, I can face the world again, but I still think I am fat and ugly. Well perhaps I am.
Take care, and have a chat to a professional about how you feel.
You should see a counselor or therapist. Best of luck.
I think counseling might really help you. Did someone say something mean to you about your appearance when you were in kindergarten? Remar