Depression Community
Do not want to leave my house
About This Community:

This patient support community is for discussions relating to depression, counseling, sleep problems, and nutrition.

Font Size:
A
A
A
Background:
Blank
Blank
Blank
Blank Blank

Do not want to leave my house

I have gotten to the point that I do not want to leave my house.  I work for the schools and I am off 6 weeks in the summer.  I always think that I will be so productive during that off time and also enjoy my swimming pool.  But I don't.  I use to write this off to being satisfied with my life but now I wonder.  I wake up early but just don't get out of bed, therefore I catnap till about lunch.  I sometimes will put my Ipod on and listen to a book while I lay in bed.  I like nothing better than surfing the internet, reading a book or watching TV in my bedroom.  I really would not even leave my room if my daughters did not comment on what a hermit I have become.  Most of the time I do not even answer my phone because I just do not want to talk to anyone.  Plus if my husband would not say anything I would not even get of my pajamas.  I will always think about the things that need to be done at my house (I have never liked to clean) but I just don't do them.  I am somewhat of a packrat and have lots of clutter.  But I want my house clean and organized, I find other things to do.  We were very active in our church but now I cannot even drag myself out of bed on Sunday Mornings to go to church.  I don't even walk out to the mailbox somedays, not that I dread what is in it I just don't go.  During the school year I rarely miss a days work but when I come home I do not even want to cook dinner, I certainly do not want to clean the kitchen afterwards.  All I want to do is get home as quick as I can and either get on the internet, read or watch TV.  I have 2 teenage daughters and married for 20 years to a very attractive man.  When we married I was not overweight which I am now by about 75 pounds.  My husband is the same size and excerises everyday.  He is very disciplined and I am not.  I am ADD and take Adderall (adderrall) everyday for that and I am also on 60 mg of Cynbalta.  I use to be very social and now I am social at work but other than that I just want to be at home doing things by myself.  I am not sure if this is healthy at all.
Related Discussions
30 Comments Post a Comment
Blank
585414_tn?1288944902
Best to speak to your psychiatrist to see if this comes from anxiety or depression as one can cause a fear of being around people and the other can cause people to feel undermotivated and avoid people. They could adjust your treatment and see what else could be done to help you such as cognitive behavioral therapy or a support group.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
i agree with iladvocate.

i felt the same way as you do. every summer i would fall into this i don't caree mind mode. had to make myself and still do, get up in the morning. then come fall and i was myself aggain. so i got a new dx called summer sad. so now i just deal with it the best i can. i, like you have to force myself to do the every day things. but i found out i feel better if i push myself into finishing one thing at a time.

hope this helps
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I will say that I am no "unhappy" I just feel like this might not be normal.  Could it be I am just lazy?  I am not in a bad mood (most of the time).  I plan to speak to my doctor about this at my next visit.  needhelp4me434 - it is really hard to force yourself isn't it?  And I would probably feel so much better if I pushed myself but I just don't.  I am thankful for any suggestions that anyone has.  
Blank
965878_tn?1247562729
You are not alone, My house is cluttered and everyday I put on my list to clean but everyday I just sit on the couch and stress myself into a frozen state and it never gets better. I am the same with work or grocery shopping etc. If I stay active I don't think about it but the minute I get out of my routine everything comes to a crashing halt. I am on Cymbalta and lorazapam for anxiety. If it wasn't for my daughters activities sometimes I wonder if I would ever get dressed. Hang in there, try having your husband take you for a short walk everyday and make him promise to make you walk, just 5 minutes the first day and work yourself up to more time. I have a garden in the summer and I have to get out at least everyother day so something like that could help. Good luck to you.
wicki
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Hi, I'm not the only one who stays in the bedroom and makes plans that are never done!  Thanks.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
i have been literally in bed since thanksgiving...i fall asleep at 6 or 7 am and sleep til 4 or 5 in the afternoon...i get up to eat something and go right back to bed. i do not want to do anything or go out of my house or even my room. my husband is retired military so he does everything i used to...shopping, laundry..i know i need help...i tried to commit suicide two years ago when i was lke this but never for this long. i dont want to make the effort to get to a psych. just too much for me right now. i just want to sleep and stay asleep. help, somebody?
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I wish I never had to leave my house.  I wish I didn't have to work.  I just want to stay home with the windows covered.  I kind of get mad when someone calls or texts me.  I don't like being bothered.  I just want to be home forever and left alone.
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
I quit my job this past January. Ever since then I havent been out of my bed for longer than one hour at any given time. I feel like I have just shut down. My husband, whom I loved with all my heart, decided he didn't love me anymore and wanted to be somewhere else. I have battled depression for years by denying that I was depressed, and now it has cost me almost everything. Recently, I have destroyed the thoughts of suicide only because I have two kids to live for and it would destroy them if I did something like that. I know that have a lot to live for, its just taking a while to figure out what it is.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
wow-I'm so thankful for reading these posts (although I hate you all are going through all of this).  I am the same way.  I work night weekends.  When I'm home M-Friday, all I want to do is lay in bed-period.  It takes all of the strength in my body to answer the phone.  I just don't want to go anywhere or talk to anyone.  I'm on prescription adderall (adderrall) and celexa, and honestly, if it wasn't for the adderall (adderrall), I would never get the simplest tasks completed.  The worst part is, I have a 2 year old, and I can't keep playing with her in my bedroom.  It's not fair to her!  Luckily, I have a very loving husband that although he doesn't understand it, he has never once complained.  I have a counselor appt set up for this month.  I really don't want to live like this any longer..How many of you just love when it rains?  So you have an even better excuse not to leave the house..
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Hi Im so sorry you are feeling this way,but I am wondering are you taking any sleeping tablets or other medication that can cause drowsiness? I say this because I feel like you but my life does not allow me to sleep but all I do is look forward to my afternoon siesta and early night I get on with my busy day,with the 2 kids 3 and 12 who are always fighting but I have to say I think Im addicted to Syndol-these make me drowsy and in a dreamlike state,most days pass and Im just on Auto-I used to be so particular about the housework (it gets done but not immaculately) and planning for events was something I would start months before now I just throw things together at the last minute even my self respect has gone-Ive been married 20 years and have put on weight not too much maybe 10 kilos but it has brought me down,my husband doesnt pay me any attention and I often wonder if he is having an affair,do you feel like this sometimes maybe your daughters are older,my 12 year old is so cheeky no respect for me and very hormonal and the 3  and half year old is going through tantrum stage,so yes I do feel like I want to just go to sleep and get away from it all,apart from the Syndol I dont take anything else for depression YET,could it be linked to the change of life Im 42 this year anyone else feel the same way please comment, I dont have any family to call my own apart from hubby and kids as I left UK 20 years ago,so life can be pretty lonely at times :(
Blank
1759946_tn?1312993824
I feel the exact same way, except for work I don't like leaving my house. And if I didnt work...I wouldn't leave my house. I get angry when people call/text me, and I make plans but don't usually follow through with them. I stay in my PJs all day, and spend all my time escaping through watching tv or getting online.....I dont know what to do, but I just dont have the energy or motivation to LEAVE this house....I just want to be left alone but I know that's not healthy....
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I feel the same way I am happy just sitting in the house watching t.v. and sleeping. I am always tired and have no energy. I make plans to do things outside of the house but I never do them. If I go out I am always nervous being around people. I used to have alot of friends but now I never even bother to call them or see them. The only time I go out is on the weekend when my boyfriend doesn't have to work or when I have school and even then i has to drag myself out. I just have no motivation for life anymore. I find I wish nothing more than to be dead but I don't believe in suicide.
Blank
3193175_tn?1345023005
Omg! I am in the exact same position! I'm only 21 though, I was living on my own for one semester going to school, but I just drank a lot, got into drugs, failed a class and barely passed the other two I was taking. I got into a lot of disputes with my neighbors at the apartments I was living at (which my dad was paying for) and a lot of other people in that town so I just wanted to run away. So, I decided to move back in with my dad when the semester was over. I just wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible. All I do now is stay in my room all day, watch tv, or some show on my laptop. I just feel like I'm incapable of living on my own, I will probably get myself into some horrible situation that would be hard to get out of. My dad comes home and asks what I did today and I'm so embarrassed to say, "Just hung out here..." I feel like such a lazy bum, but I feel uncomfortable around people, even around my dad sometimes I don't know what to talk about, it's horrible. Suicide constantly crosses my mind, but I'm so back n forth on everything I probably couldn't even commit to that. My problem is making and keeping friends. I've never been good at it and now I'm a hermit. I don't know what I want to do with my life, honestly I don't even want to live it. Have you gotten any help?
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I am 42 years old and in the last few years I have gotten slowly to where I don't want to leave my house . The last year has been the worst I have ever been I have to force my self to even take my daughter to the dr. She was in a horrible accident in feb. and in the hospital and rehab for 2 months . While there i would only leave the hospital to get things for her I would do anything to help her . Now I am the same way at home and getting worse shes better except for a few things that we will always have to deal with . But I cant hardly bring myself to get up and do even simple things like laundry or cook dinner anymore. I have been diagnosed with severe anxiety disorder and panic attacks. I just feel so helpless i used to be so active now i could care less about most things. I hardly ever answer the phone and will even act like I am not home sometimes when some one comes to the door.    
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
i am 72 i stay in my bed 99 persent of the day.  i dont bother getting drssed.  i make lists to do but i end up throwing them away.  i mdont feel like im have the strength to do anything.  if i cook it is a tv dinner or sandwich.  use paper plates so i want have to wash dishes.  i dont answer the phone unless i have to.  i play games on the laptop and work crossword puzzles.  and sleep most of the time.  i justmam tired and dont care.  gloria789
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
Your story could be my story almost exactly right down to the 20+ year marriage, summers off and the swimming pool, only my 2 kids are a boy and a girl.  I sincerely hope that you are doing better and have found someone and something that has helped you.  I too am very active in my church and our pastor's wife is my very close friend.  I think that if it weren't for my close relationship with her and my growing relationship with the Father, I would be much worse off then I feel already.  I know your pain through the words you have written.  And to answer you, no this isn't normal.  God doesn't want this kind of life for us.  Today I had a bad day at my job (within the school system) and came home and jumped on the internet (like always) and asked Google why I feel like never leaving my house again? and this page came up.  Thank you for sharing your story because it helped me feel less alone.  Even though I am in a support group, I still feel like no one understands just how I feel.  Maybe it is because I'm afraid that if I open up they will think I am a freak - I guess it's how I feel about myself and I wish I could just stay in bed.  The outside world is so cruel and I wish I could just never leave my house again.  Tomorrow I will go to my support group but as for today, I have already self medicated with food and wine.  If we were next door neighbors, what a pair we would make. :) but we could be there for each other, even if it was via facebook from our beds.  But seriously, I pray that you (and I) get back to living our good lives.  Seek help and consider turning back to your church or choose another church.  Ask God for direction and healing.  I try to remember that everyday. <3
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
I just read all of the posts here and I have an over-whelming desire to hug all of you.  I HATE that we all feel like this, but to know that there is a community to which I can belong, where I can be understood is so wonderful.  Nothing hurts as much as feeling like you are lost and all alone.  I teared up while reading all of your posts.  I wish I had a magic wand and could zap us all back to normal.  Take heart peeps and know that someone out there cares and loves you.  Close your eyes and feel the glow.  I will include you in my prayers. <3
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
hi every one i have just read all the posts here and i am in the same boat, except i dont have kids. i have bi polar disoreder and borderline personality disorder. at the moment i am suffering from one of the worst depressions of my life. i tryed to commit suicide about 3 weeks ago but my husband found me and called an ambulance. i was in hospital for 8 days. ive been home now for about 3 weeks and i have not left the house except to go see my psycoligist. i am very tired and will sleep till about 11.30am most days. seven months ago i lost alot of my long hair and had to cut it to my color bone. it was like my security blanket, my mask to the outside world now that gone i feel naked amd ugly. i have to wear clip in hair extensions so people think i look the same. i found out i was iron defecient aswell which could be causing the hair loss. i was on lithium aswell but i did some research into the side effects and it says it could cause thinning brittle hair. so i have stopped taking it. now they drug me up on seroquel 750mg at night!! what do i do?? i have been trying to grow my hair back but its very slow going. all i do all day is either cry, watch tv and draw.
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
oh, I so know  what you mean.  I know this message is  little behind, but i just got on this sight.  I am on 3 anti depressants, and i anti anxiety med. At first, I felt sooooooo good, but it only lasted about 4 months. Now, im at rock bottom again.  I see a psychiatrist every month, but, just for meds. No counseling yet.  He, so far, is really good about trying to tweek my meds when needed. I go in again on Monday, and I literrally dread hate to think about getting ready go, and actually getting there.  Everything is such a mountain.  I have had talks with myself, and said, I'm not a lazy person, this is horrible, it comes and goes like a rollercoaster.  I so wish someone could keep me going longer than a couple months at a time.   It's so tiring. I haven't been out of my house in over 2 weeks this time, and I have to go somewhere  tomorrow.  It is a must.  I just pray for strength and motivation to get there. Any advise would be greatly appreciated.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
There is hope.  I read that there was a recent breakthrough regarding depression.  "A hallucinatory party drug could point the way to the first new treatments for depression in a generation. Scientists have discovered that ketamine ("Special K"), which club-goers take for dream-like highs, also improves mood disorders by repairing damaged connections in the brain. What's more, ketamine works within hours as opposed to weeks - even for people whose mood disorders have proved resistant to other drugs. The breakthrough 'represents maybe one of the biggest findings in the field over the last 50 years,' Yale University neurobiologist Ron Dunman tells NPR.org.  Researchers involved in the study say the previous model of depression - based on the idea of 'chemical imbalances' in the brain may be wrong, and that depression may be the result of stress-induced damage by brain cells that control mood.  Ketamine, they say, speeds the growth of new synapses - the connective tissue between brain cells - and can quickly reverse the neuronal damage associated with depression.  The most popular class of depression drugs, SSRI's, don't work for about a third of those struggling with depression.  Ketamine's negative effects side effects, including hallucinations, delirium, and kidney damage, makes its widespread use as a depression treatment unlikely.  But, what the drug is revealing about how the brain works, Dunman says, may lead to new, safer drugs, and "ultimately provide a much better way of treating depression.
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
thank you for the medical info. my story is the same as everyone else, except for the fact that i do not have any kids.  i was  been on antidepressants for over 20 years and i believe they have quit working.  losing my job in 2010, i have turned into a hermit.  i will sleep through any planned outings, and when possible i do not take off my pj for days at a time.  i hate living like this.  i am lonely but i will not do anything to change this.  i want to, i just wont.  lacking insurance is my excuse for not seeking help.  
i am so desperate that if i knew how to get ketamine i would take some regardless of the side effects, i want my life back.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Wow...This seems to be an epidemic among us.   what2do1989 has explained my exact feelings as well.  I used to be so energetic and a real explorer.  Now,  anxiety almost to panic overtakes me when I think of my Mom duties at home.  It has got to be something to do with chemicals or the lack of.  Can anyone please make some suggestions?  Before more of us have these "meltdowns" ?
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
I to have feelings that everyone else is feeling.  Feelings of sorrow, sadness and just dread waking up in the morning.  No motivation,,always crying sometimes for a reason and sometimes i have no clue why.  A lot of things have happened in my life yet i cant seem to get through the past and live in the present if that makes sense or not.  I am not on anti depressants,,nor have i spoke to a doctor,,,as i have lil faith in them.  So i am stuck in a hole that i cannot seem to get out of.  Very frustrating :(
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Hi You
Can you still fight? Fight your way out of bed just to do one thing in the day, even if it's just wash the dishes?
Me: Got retrenched; sent me into meltdown; can't function. Other people change jobs all the time, right? Why am I incapable? Is it the panic about running out of money by Feb? Even though I'm a qualified professional with options, should I choose to fight? So why aren't I fighting as hard as I could be? Like you, more reasons for the horror than this.
So, when I wake up with those questions, I try to: count (it sounds absurd but it calms my panic attacks); breathe; use a mantra.
Could you try? Just until you find a space in which you can heal?
Best wishes
Gen
Can
Blank
1003776_tn?1360201182
Oh, I am just seeing for the first time that there are others with the same issue as me. what is this?
Blank
1003776_tn?1360201182
are you feeling any better? God help us all. I am also anemic and take iron. I never want to leave the house.
Blank
1003776_tn?1360201182
hi sunny, i am new here too. this is my life. i am on 2 anti depressents. is there any hope for us, i dont want to live like this anymore.
Blank
480448_tn?1403547723
This is an old thread, you will get more input if you start a new thread of your own.  These are classic signs of depression...isolation of self, no motivation, little to no pleasure out of doing things.  If you're having these, you probably have depression and need to seek some help.

Like I said, start a new thread, explain what's been going on, and give us a little history about yourself (age, any medical histiry, any past mental health treatments, social issues, etc).

We'll be happy to help you the best way we can!
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
Just reading this for the first time I have these same feelings, but have to hide them from everyone especially my children 10 and 15.  No one understands this I disappoint my husband and friends all the time because I can't get out of my own head and I don't enjoy anything.  So freaking sad...:( tired of being tired of it
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
Hi everyone, I'm new to the site.  It is a pleasure to meet all of you.  Some of you have asked what to do because you don't want to leave your house.  I am in that same boat.  I have a suggestion though if you really do not want to leave your dwelling like I don't want to leave mine but you can talk online etc. and be good with that.  

I play World of Warcraft.  I have played it since October 10 of 2007.  Yes, there are some mean people but they are people just behind the screen of their computer and best of all if I don't like what they are saying I can put them on ignore and not have to see their comments.

In the guild that I and my fiancee own, we recently added a man that is 68 years old.  I love him to pieces and I call him Poppy which he just gets the biggest kick out of.  LOL.  Before he joined our guild, he told us that he wanted to go on raids in game but had a hard time finding people that would not be upset because he is losing his eyesight and can't always see his keys and his dexterity isn't what it used to be.

We did not care that he couldn't always see his keys and that his dexterity wasn't great.  We work around those things as a team.  We have people in our guild that have girlfriend / boyfriend issues or home life issues, work issues, stress, autism, anxiety disorders, physical issues.  The list goes on and on.  

We talk to each other when we are down and life is at it's lowest.  We can either whisper each other or even use ventrilo, a voice over IP program that is free to have and we use a server that is set up for WoW and is public server.  

It's good to laugh and sometimes that is just what is needed to get through the day is a good laugh.  Watching your guild mate fall off a cliff because they were not paying attention is pretty funny.

I also play Myst URU online.  It is free, graphics are amazingly beautiful it is so serene and you don't die in it.  It is also open source so people make these amazing worlds you can visit and figure out the puzzles to get through that world.  ( ages ) is what they are called.

My point to this is that, at least for me when I feel good and am in good spirits and know I'm not alone and can do things I can't normally do, it makes it easier for me to leave my apartment and go shopping or to appointments etc. and even go for a walk.  It also feels nice to help someone who is feeling blue and getting them to laugh because honestly we all know what it feels like to be in that mode and we don't like to see each other in that mode but we do understand it and accept one another for who and how we simply are.
Now that I have written this book to all of you, and talked your ear off, I hope you try it out.  If you do, I am on Lightninghoof server on Horde side faction.  The guild is Party Crashers.  My real id for the game is: ***@****  it is also my email address so if anyone has questions or wants to try it out but don't know how, please feel free to email me or if you just want to talk.  I'm here for you :-)

Blessed Be.  
Blank
Post a Comment
To
Recent Activity
6530778_tn?1396763315
Blank
Irisbritney commented on Irisbritney's status
9 mins ago
2107676_tn?1388977459
Blank
Pat1956100 commented on Pat1956100's status
22 mins ago
1302038_tn?1401843053
Blank
TinaR10 NT Scan results came back. ... Comment
1 hr ago
MedHelp Health Answers
Blank
Mood Tracker
Track your mood over time
Start Tracking Now
Top Mood Disorders Answerers
585414_tn?1288944902
Blank
ILADVOCATE
NY
6726276_tn?1388332222
Blank
CRSeaside
Huntington Beach, CA
480448_tn?1403547723
Blank
nursegirl6572
PA
1110049_tn?1384640486
Blank
4Maddie44
Dorset, United Kingdom
Avatar_f_tn
Blank
remar
st. louis, MO
Avatar_f_tn
Blank
mandy876
haltom city, TX
Depression Community Resources
RSS Expert Activity
233488_tn?1310696703
Blank
New Cannabis Article from NORTH Mag...
Jul 20 by John C Hagan III, MD, FACS, FAAOBlank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
3 Reasons Why You are Still Binge E...
Jul 14 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Emotional Eating: What Your Closet ...
Jul 09 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
Top Mood Disorders Answerers
585414_tn?1288944902
Blank
ILADVOCATE
NY
6726276_tn?1388332222
Blank
CRSeaside
Huntington Beach, CA
480448_tn?1403547723
Blank
nursegirl6572
PA
1110049_tn?1384640486
Blank
4Maddie44
Dorset, United Kingdom
Avatar_f_tn
Blank
remar
st. louis, MO
Avatar_f_tn
Blank
mandy876
haltom city, TX