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Do not want to leave my house
I have gotten to the point that I do not want to leave my house.  I work for the schools and I am off 6 weeks in the summer.  I always think that I will be so productive during that off time and also enjoy my swimming pool.  But I don't.  I use to write this off to being satisfied with my life but now I wonder.  I wake up early but just don't get out of bed, therefore I catnap till about lunch.  I sometimes will put my Ipod on and listen to a book while I lay in bed.  I like nothing better than surfing the internet, reading a book or watching TV in my bedroom.  I really would not even leave my room if my daughters did not comment on what a hermit I have become.  Most of the time I do not even answer my phone because I just do not want to talk to anyone.  Plus if my husband would not say anything I would not even get of my pajamas.  I will always think about the things that need to be done at my house (I have never liked to clean) but I just don't do them.  I am somewhat of a packrat and have lots of clutter.  But I want my house clean and organized, I find other things to do.  We were very active in our church but now I cannot even drag myself out of bed on Sunday Mornings to go to church.  I don't even walk out to the mailbox somedays, not that I dread what is in it I just don't go.  During the school year I rarely miss a days work but when I come home I do not even want to cook dinner, I certainly do not want to clean the kitchen afterwards.  All I want to do is get home as quick as I can and either get on the internet, read or watch TV.  I have 2 teenage daughters and married for 20 years to a very attractive man.  When we married I was not overweight which I am now by about 75 pounds.  My husband is the same size and excerises everyday.  He is very disciplined and I am not.  I am ADD and take Adderall everyday for that and I am also on 60 mg of Cynbalta.  I use to be very social and now I am social at work but other than that I just want to be at home doing things by myself.  I am not sure if this is healthy at all.
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585414 tn?1288944902
Best to speak to your psychiatrist to see if this comes from anxiety or depression as one can cause a fear of being around people and the other can cause people to feel undermotivated and avoid people. They could adjust your treatment and see what else could be done to help you such as cognitive behavioral therapy or a support group.
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i agree with iladvocate.

i felt the same way as you do. every summer i would fall into this i don't caree mind mode. had to make myself and still do, get up in the morning. then come fall and i was myself aggain. so i got a new dx called summer sad. so now i just deal with it the best i can. i, like you have to force myself to do the every day things. but i found out i feel better if i push myself into finishing one thing at a time.

hope this helps
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I will say that I am no "unhappy" I just feel like this might not be normal.  Could it be I am just lazy?  I am not in a bad mood (most of the time).  I plan to speak to my doctor about this at my next visit.  needhelp4me434 - it is really hard to force yourself isn't it?  And I would probably feel so much better if I pushed myself but I just don't.  I am thankful for any suggestions that anyone has.  
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965878 tn?1247562729
You are not alone, My house is cluttered and everyday I put on my list to clean but everyday I just sit on the couch and stress myself into a frozen state and it never gets better. I am the same with work or grocery shopping etc. If I stay active I don't think about it but the minute I get out of my routine everything comes to a crashing halt. I am on Cymbalta and lorazapam for anxiety. If it wasn't for my daughters activities sometimes I wonder if I would ever get dressed. Hang in there, try having your husband take you for a short walk everyday and make him promise to make you walk, just 5 minutes the first day and work yourself up to more time. I have a garden in the summer and I have to get out at least everyother day so something like that could help. Good luck to you.
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Hi, I'm not the only one who stays in the bedroom and makes plans that are never done!  Thanks.
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i have been literally in bed since thanksgiving...i fall asleep at 6 or 7 am and sleep til 4 or 5 in the afternoon...i get up to eat something and go right back to bed. i do not want to do anything or go out of my house or even my room. my husband is retired military so he does everything i used to...shopping, laundry..i know i need help...i tried to commit suicide two years ago when i was lke this but never for this long. i dont want to make the effort to get to a psych. just too much for me right now. i just want to sleep and stay asleep. help, somebody?
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I wish I never had to leave my house.  I wish I didn't have to work.  I just want to stay home with the windows covered.  I kind of get mad when someone calls or texts me.  I don't like being bothered.  I just want to be home forever and left alone.
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I quit my job this past January. Ever since then I havent been out of my bed for longer than one hour at any given time. I feel like I have just shut down. My husband, whom I loved with all my heart, decided he didn't love me anymore and wanted to be somewhere else. I have battled depression for years by denying that I was depressed, and now it has cost me almost everything. Recently, I have destroyed the thoughts of suicide only because I have two kids to live for and it would destroy them if I did something like that. I know that have a lot to live for, its just taking a while to figure out what it is.
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wow-I'm so thankful for reading these posts (although I hate you all are going through all of this).  I am the same way.  I work night weekends.  When I'm home M-Friday, all I want to do is lay in bed-period.  It takes all of the strength in my body to answer the phone.  I just don't want to go anywhere or talk to anyone.  I'm on prescription adderall and celexa, and honestly, if it wasn't for the adderall, I would never get the simplest tasks completed.  The worst part is, I have a 2 year old, and I can't keep playing with her in my bedroom.  It's not fair to her!  Luckily, I have a very loving husband that although he doesn't understand it, he has never once complained.  I have a counselor appt set up for this month.  I really don't want to live like this any longer..How many of you just love when it rains?  So you have an even better excuse not to leave the house..
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Hi Im so sorry you are feeling this way,but I am wondering are you taking any sleeping tablets or other medication that can cause drowsiness? I say this because I feel like you but my life does not allow me to sleep but all I do is look forward to my afternoon siesta and early night I get on with my busy day,with the 2 kids 3 and 12 who are always fighting but I have to say I think Im addicted to Syndol-these make me drowsy and in a dreamlike state,most days pass and Im just on Auto-I used to be so particular about the housework (it gets done but not immaculately) and planning for events was something I would start months before now I just throw things together at the last minute even my self respect has gone-Ive been married 20 years and have put on weight not too much maybe 10 kilos but it has brought me down,my husband doesnt pay me any attention and I often wonder if he is having an affair,do you feel like this sometimes maybe your daughters are older,my 12 year old is so cheeky no respect for me and very hormonal and the 3  and half year old is going through tantrum stage,so yes I do feel like I want to just go to sleep and get away from it all,apart from the Syndol I dont take anything else for depression YET,could it be linked to the change of life Im 42 this year anyone else feel the same way please comment, I dont have any family to call my own apart from hubby and kids as I left UK 20 years ago,so life can be pretty lonely at times :(
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1759946 tn?1312993824
I feel the exact same way, except for work I don't like leaving my house. And if I didnt work...I wouldn't leave my house. I get angry when people call/text me, and I make plans but don't usually follow through with them. I stay in my PJs all day, and spend all my time escaping through watching tv or getting online.....I dont know what to do, but I just dont have the energy or motivation to LEAVE this house....I just want to be left alone but I know that's not healthy....
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I feel the same way.  I just have no energy or motivation.
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I feel the same way I am happy just sitting in the house watching t.v. and sleeping. I am always tired and have no energy. I make plans to do things outside of the house but I never do them. If I go out I am always nervous being around people. I used to have alot of friends but now I never even bother to call them or see them. The only time I go out is on the weekend when my boyfriend doesn't have to work or when I have school and even then i has to drag myself out. I just have no motivation for life anymore. I find I wish nothing more than to be dead but I don't believe in suicide.
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3193175 tn?1345023005
Omg! I am in the exact same position! I'm only 21 though, I was living on my own for one semester going to school, but I just drank a lot, got into drugs, failed a class and barely passed the other two I was taking. I got into a lot of disputes with my neighbors at the apartments I was living at (which my dad was paying for) and a lot of other people in that town so I just wanted to run away. So, I decided to move back in with my dad when the semester was over. I just wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible. All I do now is stay in my room all day, watch tv, or some show on my laptop. I just feel like I'm incapable of living on my own, I will probably get myself into some horrible situation that would be hard to get out of. My dad comes home and asks what I did today and I'm so embarrassed to say, "Just hung out here..." I feel like such a lazy bum, but I feel uncomfortable around people, even around my dad sometimes I don't know what to talk about, it's horrible. Suicide constantly crosses my mind, but I'm so back n forth on everything I probably couldn't even commit to that. My problem is making and keeping friends. I've never been good at it and now I'm a hermit. I don't know what I want to do with my life, honestly I don't even want to live it. Have you gotten any help?
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I am 42 years old and in the last few years I have gotten slowly to where I don't want to leave my house . The last year has been the worst I have ever been I have to force my self to even take my daughter to the dr. She was in a horrible accident in feb. and in the hospital and rehab for 2 months . While there i would only leave the hospital to get things for her I would do anything to help her . Now I am the same way at home and getting worse shes better except for a few things that we will always have to deal with . But I cant hardly bring myself to get up and do even simple things like laundry or cook dinner anymore. I have been diagnosed with severe anxiety disorder and panic attacks. I just feel so helpless i used to be so active now i could care less about most things. I hardly ever answer the phone and will even act like I am not home sometimes when some one comes to the door.    
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i am 72 i stay in my bed 99 persent of the day.  i dont bother getting drssed.  i make lists to do but i end up throwing them away.  i mdont feel like im have the strength to do anything.  if i cook it is a tv dinner or sandwich.  use paper plates so i want have to wash dishes.  i dont answer the phone unless i have to.  i play games on the laptop and work crossword puzzles.  and sleep most of the time.  i justmam tired and dont care.  gloria789
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Your story could be my story almost exactly right down to the 20+ year marriage, summers off and the swimming pool, only my 2 kids are a boy and a girl.  I sincerely hope that you are doing better and have found someone and something that has helped you.  I too am very active in my church and our pastor's wife is my very close friend.  I think that if it weren't for my close relationship with her and my growing relationship with the Father, I would be much worse off then I feel already.  I know your pain through the words you have written.  And to answer you, no this isn't normal.  God doesn't want this kind of life for us.  Today I had a bad day at my job (within the school system) and came home and jumped on the internet (like always) and asked Google why I feel like never leaving my house again? and this page came up.  Thank you for sharing your story because it helped me feel less alone.  Even though I am in a support group, I still feel like no one understands just how I feel.  Maybe it is because I'm afraid that if I open up they will think I am a freak - I guess it's how I feel about myself and I wish I could just stay in bed.  The outside world is so cruel and I wish I could just never leave my house again.  Tomorrow I will go to my support group but as for today, I have already self medicated with food and wine.  If we were next door neighbors, what a pair we would make. :) but we could be there for each other, even if it was via facebook from our beds.  But seriously, I pray that you (and I) get back to living our good lives.  Seek help and consider turning back to your church or choose another church.  Ask God for direction and healing.  I try to remember that everyday. <3
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I just read all of the posts here and I have an over-whelming desire to hug all of you.  I HATE that we all feel like this, but to know that there is a community to which I can belong, where I can be understood is so wonderful.  Nothing hurts as much as feeling like you are lost and all alone.  I teared up while reading all of your posts.  I wish I had a magic wand and could zap us all back to normal.  Take heart peeps and know that someone out there cares and loves you.  Close your eyes and feel the glow.  I will include you in my prayers. <3
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hi every one i have just read all the posts here and i am in the same boat, except i dont have kids. i have bi polar disoreder and borderline personality disorder. at the moment i am suffering from one of the worst depressions of my life. i tryed to commit suicide about 3 weeks ago but my husband found me and called an ambulance. i was in hospital for 8 days. ive been home now for about 3 weeks and i have not left the house except to go see my psycoligist. i am very tired and will sleep till about 11.30am most days. seven months ago i lost alot of my long hair and had to cut it to my color bone. it was like my security blanket, my mask to the outside world now that gone i feel naked amd ugly. i have to wear clip in hair extensions so people think i look the same. i found out i was iron defecient aswell which could be causing the hair loss. i was on lithium aswell but i did some research into the side effects and it says it could cause thinning brittle hair. so i have stopped taking it. now they drug me up on seroquel 750mg at night!! what do i do?? i have been trying to grow my hair back but its very slow going. all i do all day is either cry, watch tv and draw.
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oh, I so know  what you mean.  I know this message is  little behind, but i just got on this sight.  I am on 3 anti depressants, and i anti anxiety med. At first, I felt sooooooo good, but it only lasted about 4 months. Now, im at rock bottom again.  I see a psychiatrist every month, but, just for meds. No counseling yet.  He, so far, is really good about trying to tweek my meds when needed. I go in again on Monday, and I literrally dread hate to think about getting ready go, and actually getting there.  Everything is such a mountain.  I have had talks with myself, and said, I'm not a lazy person, this is horrible, it comes and goes like a rollercoaster.  I so wish someone could keep me going longer than a couple months at a time.   It's so tiring. I haven't been out of my house in over 2 weeks this time, and I have to go somewhere  tomorrow.  It is a must.  I just pray for strength and motivation to get there. Any advise would be greatly appreciated.
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There is hope.  I read that there was a recent breakthrough regarding depression.  "A hallucinatory party drug could point the way to the first new treatments for depression in a generation. Scientists have discovered that ketamine ("Special K"), which club-goers take for dream-like highs, also improves mood disorders by repairing damaged connections in the brain. What's more, ketamine works within hours as opposed to weeks - even for people whose mood disorders have proved resistant to other drugs. The breakthrough 'represents maybe one of the biggest findings in the field over the last 50 years,' Yale University neurobiologist Ron Dunman tells NPR.org.  Researchers involved in the study say the previous model of depression - based on the idea of 'chemical imbalances' in the brain may be wrong, and that depression may be the result of stress-induced damage by brain cells that control mood.  Ketamine, they say, speeds the growth of new synapses - the connective tissue between brain cells - and can quickly reverse the neuronal damage associated with depression.  The most popular class of depression drugs, SSRI's, don't work for about a third of those struggling with depression.  Ketamine's negative effects side effects, including hallucinations, delirium, and kidney damage, makes its widespread use as a depression treatment unlikely.  But, what the drug is revealing about how the brain works, Dunman says, may lead to new, safer drugs, and "ultimately provide a much better way of treating depression.
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thank you for the medical info. my story is the same as everyone else, except for the fact that i do not have any kids.  i was  been on antidepressants for over 20 years and i believe they have quit working.  losing my job in 2010, i have turned into a hermit.  i will sleep through any planned outings, and when possible i do not take off my pj for days at a time.  i hate living like this.  i am lonely but i will not do anything to change this.  i want to, i just wont.  lacking insurance is my excuse for not seeking help.  
i am so desperate that if i knew how to get ketamine i would take some regardless of the side effects, i want my life back.
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Wow...This seems to be an epidemic among us.   what2do1989 has explained my exact feelings as well.  I used to be so energetic and a real explorer.  Now,  anxiety almost to panic overtakes me when I think of my Mom duties at home.  It has got to be something to do with chemicals or the lack of.  Can anyone please make some suggestions?  Before more of us have these "meltdowns" ?
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I to have feelings that everyone else is feeling.  Feelings of sorrow, sadness and just dread waking up in the morning.  No motivation,,always crying sometimes for a reason and sometimes i have no clue why.  A lot of things have happened in my life yet i cant seem to get through the past and live in the present if that makes sense or not.  I am not on anti depressants,,nor have i spoke to a doctor,,,as i have lil faith in them.  So i am stuck in a hole that i cannot seem to get out of.  Very frustrating :(
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Hi You
Can you still fight? Fight your way out of bed just to do one thing in the day, even if it's just wash the dishes?
Me: Got retrenched; sent me into meltdown; can't function. Other people change jobs all the time, right? Why am I incapable? Is it the panic about running out of money by Feb? Even though I'm a qualified professional with options, should I choose to fight? So why aren't I fighting as hard as I could be? Like you, more reasons for the horror than this.
So, when I wake up with those questions, I try to: count (it sounds absurd but it calms my panic attacks); breathe; use a mantra.
Could you try? Just until you find a space in which you can heal?
Best wishes
Gen
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1003776 tn?1360201182
Oh, I am just seeing for the first time that there are others with the same issue as me. what is this?
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1003776 tn?1360201182
are you feeling any better? God help us all. I am also anemic and take iron. I never want to leave the house.
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1003776 tn?1360201182
hi sunny, i am new here too. this is my life. i am on 2 anti depressents. is there any hope for us, i dont want to live like this anymore.
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480448 tn?1426952138
This is an old thread, you will get more input if you start a new thread of your own.  These are classic signs of depression...isolation of self, no motivation, little to no pleasure out of doing things.  If you're having these, you probably have depression and need to seek some help.

Like I said, start a new thread, explain what's been going on, and give us a little history about yourself (age, any medical histiry, any past mental health treatments, social issues, etc).

We'll be happy to help you the best way we can!
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Just reading this for the first time I have these same feelings, but have to hide them from everyone especially my children 10 and 15.  No one understands this I disappoint my husband and friends all the time because I can't get out of my own head and I don't enjoy anything.  So freaking sad...:( tired of being tired of it
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Hi everyone, I'm new to the site.  It is a pleasure to meet all of you.  Some of you have asked what to do because you don't want to leave your house.  I am in that same boat.  I have a suggestion though if you really do not want to leave your dwelling like I don't want to leave mine but you can talk online etc. and be good with that.  

I play World of Warcraft.  I have played it since October 10 of 2007.  Yes, there are some mean people but they are people just behind the screen of their computer and best of all if I don't like what they are saying I can put them on ignore and not have to see their comments.

In the guild that I and my fiancee own, we recently added a man that is 68 years old.  I love him to pieces and I call him Poppy which he just gets the biggest kick out of.  LOL.  Before he joined our guild, he told us that he wanted to go on raids in game but had a hard time finding people that would not be upset because he is losing his eyesight and can't always see his keys and his dexterity isn't what it used to be.

We did not care that he couldn't always see his keys and that his dexterity wasn't great.  We work around those things as a team.  We have people in our guild that have girlfriend / boyfriend issues or home life issues, work issues, stress, autism, anxiety disorders, physical issues.  The list goes on and on.  

We talk to each other when we are down and life is at it's lowest.  We can either whisper each other or even use ventrilo, a voice over IP program that is free to have and we use a server that is set up for WoW and is public server.  

It's good to laugh and sometimes that is just what is needed to get through the day is a good laugh.  Watching your guild mate fall off a cliff because they were not paying attention is pretty funny.

I also play Myst URU online.  It is free, graphics are amazingly beautiful it is so serene and you don't die in it.  It is also open source so people make these amazing worlds you can visit and figure out the puzzles to get through that world.  ( ages ) is what they are called.

My point to this is that, at least for me when I feel good and am in good spirits and know I'm not alone and can do things I can't normally do, it makes it easier for me to leave my apartment and go shopping or to appointments etc. and even go for a walk.  It also feels nice to help someone who is feeling blue and getting them to laugh because honestly we all know what it feels like to be in that mode and we don't like to see each other in that mode but we do understand it and accept one another for who and how we simply are.
Now that I have written this book to all of you, and talked your ear off, I hope you try it out.  If you do, I am on Lightninghoof server on Horde side faction.  The guild is Party Crashers.  My real id for the game is: ***@****  it is also my email address so if anyone has questions or wants to try it out but don't know how, please feel free to email me or if you just want to talk.  I'm here for you :-)

Blessed Be.  
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I am exactly the same. I have to work because I have a business , but I can't wait to get home
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Wow I'm so thankful that I found this page, just knowing there are other people in the world feeling the EXACT way that i'm feeling right now! I seriously wish I was active and productive, every night I make a list for all the things Im gonna do the next day and it never gets done, especially if it is something that requires me leaving the house. I have all day to do stuff but I still just eat cereal for breakfast lunch and dinner because I loathe cooking and then I feel massively guilty at the end of the day for not doing anything. I don't answer calls unless they're from someone in my immediate family and always avoid making plans with friends. I always imagine being a totally different person in the future with heaps of energy, outgoing etc. but I don't actually take any steps towards this.
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There are so many similar cases narrated (I am the one among you otherwise I would not google this) but never saw a single advise, experience, story etc how to leave this state which really annoys and frightens me to a state that I am afraid to lose my sanity. I am a single woman in my mid fourties and losing a job badly hit me you guess why.
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Hi guys,

I have a similar problem to all of you. Im 34 years old, I sold my business which i ran for 13 years so i could game on my computer almost 14hours per day i used to be popular and have girl friends etc. I now feel like a lonely person with out anyone. I left my family and my daughter which hurts me the most and moved to another town. I live on my own and probably get out if I'm lucky once a week to do the necessities such as groceries etc. Although there has been times i have stayed home for 2 weeks easy, scraping through the wardrobes for cans of tuna starving just to eat. I even bought a gym set for home so i didn't have to leave home. Luckily i work from home and it doesn't require me to leave other wise i would quit.

The only thing i can offer is a long term person with depression etc, Is for the first time I'm starting to feel good. I've tried the counseling / physiologists, pills, watching positive videos and listening to motivational speakers,going to a church, meditation.

The one thing that has helped me the most is i watched this documentary on manic depressives. Basically what they found is majority of people who suffer from depression lack blood flow to the brain.So i researched what stops the blood flow to the brain and the main content was sugar and fructose (Sweet fruit such as apples,Bannanas, Strawberries) . Sugar is poisonous to the body and brain.. what i did was try to buy food that was between 3-6% sugar per 100 grams. And up my intake of spicey foods which increase blood flow to the brain. I must admit it took a while for me to do this, cause i just could not be f&^%ed, I had to ask a friend that i met here to push me to exercise when she went to go swimming etc. I have been on this diet for 3 months and feel great. Also helped reduce a little fat too which is nice. I'm not just ready to stay out in the public yet for long periods of time but this has helped me so i thought i would share this with you guys :D hope this helps.

Take care and i send my love to all of you.
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16076915 tn?1445138358
Wow, this as well, is exactly what I've been going through for a few years. I was addicted to opiates for 11 years, got incarcerated im 2012, got sober, and have since been released. Ever since I've been out, I want to stay im my room 24/7 with the exception of the OCCASIONAL walk throughout the house, r my Daily cleaning and what not. At first I chalked this up as being " institutionalized" but that shouldn't STILL hold true. I've never been to a Dr about it yet I'm anyway. I need to talk to someone for sure about this. I turn 35 this week, being FAR too young to be dealing with this. It does make me feel a little "sainer" knowing that I am not alone. So thank you, to each and everyone who has posted. And may us all get through this.
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This is either mild depression or clinical or a major one brewing. Posting a comment about depression actually helps, it helped me. After getting out of job and jobless for 3 years, alienating friends and family. I knew i had a problem. Every night i wish i die, i wont leave the room, or move from a certain spot. I try to list things id like to do, but never gets to start them or if i did never get to finished it. No matter what diet food or exercise one do, that wont help. Medicines could kickstart you but there has to be someone or people pushing you to move and not feel useless, miserable. I once saw i homeless guy put up the words on a carton saying, "I USED TO BE SOMEONE". And that immediately hit me. Im no famous person but that is so true. Depression doesnt just make you sad or feel miserable, it PREVENTS YOU FROM ACCEPTING YOU ARE EVEN A PERSON, or that you exist, or that you are someone, heck even something. It is numbing, and killing me. Suicide is a constant thought if not that then death is a constant thinking. An escape so blissful that soon it'll be the only cure worth accepting. It's like from the inside i am shouting all the time for help but only i could hear that deafening frightening cry of misery. Hell is a real thing, and it's not warm but rather a freezing coldness so sadness, so down so miserable. Who can help, what can help? No point of talking about God because, most don't realize this, God does not exist in  depression, He simply doesn't. Don't bother asking a church goer you'll only be more depressed. So how, where do i get to find the cure? Well there isn't one. You live with it and deal with it. Medicines and food and exercise can only do as much. The sooner you realize there is no cure but just to toughen it up is the sooner you get to understand the very nature of depression, IT'S ALL IN YOU. No one can help you, you have got to toughen yourself up and live. Start with the nearest thing infront of you, do something, anything to keep starting to move away from your "depression spot". Then do another, and another, until you forget and cut the chains that's really driving your depression, YOUR EGO.  And it's killing you, you know this. But it keeps on blinding you. Don't wait for any drug or food or person to help you. This is all you. Void yourself of the images of the past or future, focus on that small and tiny next move away from your "egoistic depression spot". A single step will do. After that, look where you've been. MARK IT! It is a black hole, a little piece of hell on earth you are to avoid at all cause, well, at least for some time. Do this every day. And remind yourself each moment you fell sad and miserable, it's all your ego talking to you. You want to be live? You want to exist? To smile again? To be someone? You have got to change. Starting from that spot? MOVE!
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Omg!!! These are some profound words; thank you!!!
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This is either mild depression or clinical or a major one brewing. Posting a comment about depression actually helps, it helped me. After getting out of job and jobless for 3 years, alienating friends and family. I knew i had a problem. Every night i wish i die, i wont leave the room, or move from a certain spot. I try to list things id like to do, but never gets to start them or if i did never get to finished it. No matter what diet food or exercise one do, that wont help. Medicines could kickstart you but there has to be someone or people pushing you to move and not feel useless, miserable. I once saw i homeless guy put up the words on a carton saying, "I USED TO BE SOMEONE". And that immediately hit me. Im no famous person but that is so true. Depression doesnt just make you sad or feel miserable, it PREVENTS YOU FROM ACCEPTING YOU ARE EVEN A PERSON, or that you exist, or that you are someone, heck even something. It is numbing, and killing me. Suicide is a constant thought if not that then death is a constant thinking. An escape so blissful that soon it'll be the only cure worth accepting. It's like from the inside i am shouting all the time for help but only i could hear that deafening frightening cry of misery. Hell is a real thing, and it's not warm but rather a freezing coldness so sadness, so down so miserable. Who can help, what can help? No point of talking about God because, most don't realize this, God does not exist in  depression, He simply doesn't. Don't bother asking a church goer you'll only be more depressed. So how, where do i get to find the cure? Well there isn't one. You live with it and deal with it. Medicines and food and exercise can only do as much. The sooner you realize there is no cure but just to toughen it up is the sooner you get to understand the very nature of depression, IT'S ALL IN YOU. No one can help you, you have got to toughen yourself up and live. Start with the nearest thing infront of you, do something, anything to keep starting to move away from your "depression spot". Then do another, and another, until you forget and cut the chains that's really driving your depression, YOUR EGO.  And it's killing you, you know this. But it keeps on blinding you. Don't wait for any drug or food or person to help you. This is all you. Void yourself of the images of the past or future, focus on that small and tiny next move away from your "egoistic depression spot". A single step will do. After that, look where you've been. MARK IT! It is a black hole, a little piece of hell on earth you are to avoid at all cause, well, at least for some time. Do this every day. And remind yourself each moment you fell sad and miserable, it's all your ego talking to you. You want to be live? You want to exist? To smile again? To be someone? You have got to change. Starting from that spot? MOVE!
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I just found this website and I am overwhelmed that so many people are fighting this same situation.  My Mother had paranoid schizophrenia and I was the oldest of three children.  I have been in therapy on and off most of my life.  I am on Paxil and desryel for at least 10 years.  I have withdrawn from several social groups.  As I am sitting here right now, I am supposed to be at a circle dance weekend (something I like doing), but I can't make myself get dressed, pick up something for dinner at the grocery store and get over there.  It is a 10 minute drive away.  Why can't anybody do anything to help me?  I am a mother and grandmother to three children ages, 8, 10, 13.  We just bought a new townhouse for them across country.  I will sleep in the den and I am really looking forward to visiting them for the holidays.
Yesterday I found out that my brother wiith advanced Parkinson's disease who is incontinent; and my sister-in-law, with her live in lover plus a Chinese student will be driving to spend the day with us on Thanksgiving.  They are bringing their three dogs, small, medium and large; and intend to make themselves at home with our small patio.  I have said "no' but sister-in-law does not listen.  I envisioning myself calling the police if they arrive with the dogs.  I hate having my thanksgiving ruined because of three barking, whining dogs.  We are brand new to the neighborhood and I don't want to upset any neighbors in this special holiday.  I just want to hide in a room upstairs and not even join the party.  Help!
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I feel the same as all these comments...... but I may just be lazy....mabey I just hate the temp job I'm working.....when I get enough sleep to go in....there are going fire me soon...... I'm 39..... its like my life is over.....but I also live for my daughter....I love her so much.....but sometimes I think if she was gone..... I would not be able to live.....literally....I just would not go on
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I feel this way somewhat. I dont know if I am depressed or just lazy. I am very overweight and doing anything even walking to the bathroom tires me out. I am at a point now that I just dont want to do anything at all. My husband tries to understand but because I am the breadwinner of the household, I feel he is just trying not to make me feel worse. I work from home 4/5 days and the day I have to go in I battle the night before and morning of, if I am even going in. When I do go in I talk to no one really, just do my 8 hrs and come right back home. I use to love shopping and going out to concerts and movies and stuff but now nothing. I can get everything online mostly, right? This weekend is Easter, and I declined the family dinner.  I feel so guilty, but I just dont want to go anywhere or do anything. It *****!
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I got pregnant but it wound being Ectopic and I had to have emergency surgery, ever since then I haven&#39;t been as active or sociable...I hate leaving the house and being around people...all I wanna do is watch netflix, eat, and sometimes have a drink or 2....glad I&#39;m not alone
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I&#39;m so sorry for the situation you had to face. I myself had to be in the hospital for 3 months (the reason is for a spine infection) and after I got out, I felt and still feel exactly how you described. This is horrible.
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I'm older.  44yrs old.  I am a Retail Store Manager.  I work very hard.  On my days off I just don't want to do anything but, lay on my bed and watch Netflix or play games on my phone.  I feel so lazy and beat myself up for that.  Downward spiral.
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We are just alike. I have no kids and bi-polar never diagnosed but I know better. I have been under stress and couldn't eat. I have been drinking Bolthouse Farms Protein Plus. I have long hair also and I found that this protein drink makes my hair and nails grow fast and strong. Having had long hair all my life I think it was because I did Yoga and many headstand and the increase blood to the head is good for many things and hair growth is one of them. At my age I just bend over or get exercise. If only they could find a pill to stop gray hair. I have been sitting here all weak not wanting to get the gray out. Take Care Mia in Miami
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I am a 22 year old that ***** in her stomach in public because Im terrified of being judged for being fat. I guess it roots from growing up being abused sexually, verbally and emotionally for years. I would and still look in the mirror and get so depressed. I&#39;m a college student and not wanting to leave my house ever is taking over my life. I don&#39;t want to get out of bed, I dont want to do anything but be in my bed on the internet. I struggle keeping friends. I get annoyed at everything. I try to workout but with the stress of school all I find myself doing is driving through the drive-thrus. I don&#39;t want to go a psych because I don&#39;t want to depend on stuff like adderall. Idk what to do I used to really try and be positive during high school and practice self love by atleast dressing up, and always doing my hair and makeup which would help me feel better and want to go out but Im just back to being a negative Nancy. Someone please help, I cry all the time and at times wish my death would not affect anyone.
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I've been depressed most of my life, so I've learned a thing or two.  I think you have major depression, and that's a very serious medical condition.  If you're thinking about suicide again, you must go to a psychiatrist and get some anti-depressants because they work faster than anything else.  Suicide is a horrible burden to inflict on your family and all who know you.  You should also get regular therapy.  A psychologist is much better trained than a counselor, but is more expensive.  If you're on medicare, it's coverage of mental health is not very good for long-term therapy.

If you like to surf the internet, there are a lot of herbs and supplements that people claim help.  St John's Wort is one, evening primrose, 1000 - 2000 i.u. vitamin D per day, multi-vitamins, and so on.  The company "Life Extension" has a huge inventory of supplements to  improve just about every ailment to man that aren't commonly available.  

Something you can do that might be the easiest is try to do something pleasurable, esp. for your body, as often as you can -- give yourself a pedicure, take a bath with a scent you like and use body lotion afterward.  Get one of those electric auto-massagers, and use a hot pad for your neck (a common site for tension and tension makes depression worse.  Get a cat or a very sweet dog (not a military-macho dog) to pet. These activities release Oxycontin which is the "feel-good" chemical in your body.  If your husband's a good lover, that'd be great, but otherwise, get some of that super-duper lubricant and some sexy books.

As soon as you feel up to it, start getting some exercise.  A dog helps there -- they love their walk so much, I do my best to get them out every day.  It's not just the exercise they need -- they also need the sensory stimulation and the emotional satisfaction of roaming.  They start doing annoying things if they don't get it.  Start with 10 minutes.  If all you can do is sit in the yard, at least they get to sniff around there.  Mine usually just want to be where I am.

Learn how to meditate.  I haven't been able to establish a program here, but it's well-known that it helps depression.  In a class I went to, the teacher said to find a time that fits your schedule, and start meditating for just 5 minutes every day at that time.  

If your exercise has been going well, start doing something more aerobic.  Riding a bike is good since it doesn't put a lot of strain on your joints.  You need to build up muscle around them before you take an aerobic class or something.  (Found that out the hard way).  The ultimate goal is 30 mins 3x per week, but just do what you can.  My doctor says it's like taking an anti-depressant -- and no bad side effects!  Only good ones.

Military bases may have some funky stuff in the water.(and not just them, either).  But you may have accumulated some heavy metals, and they are very bad for the brain.  There are some de-tox procedures described on the 'net that don't involve a lot of work -- just vit E and C (anti-oxidants) and this sea-weed stuff that keeps the colon from reabsorbing it.  May be bunk, but it's worth trying.  Just about anything you can manage is worth trying.  Purified fish oil (no mercury) is supposed to be real good.

I've heard that a lot of women have trouble when their husbands retire (I certainly did).  Suddenly they're around all the time!  Try to find things that take you out of the house.  It's hard if you moved after retirement and don't have the support of friends, but make some as soon as you can.  The dog walks help here, too.  Then you can go out to lunch or a movie together.  Regain some distance.  See if you can interest your husband in vegetable garden, lapidary work, whatever.  Often if you start doing it, they want to do it too.  Then they'll keep doing it, hopefully, when you stop.

Hope this helps.  Just don't beat yourself up if you can't do these things.  That just feeds the depression by making you feel bad about yourself.  Just do what's easiest for you and it may make you feel better enough to do a little bit of something else.  It's all good.  Just do what you can -- take baby steps, one at a time.  

I still think you should get some anti-depressants.  Don't kid around with major depression.  Tell your husband to find a psychiatrist and make you go see him.  It'll cost you some money, but this is your life.  They can get you feeling good enough so it'll be lots easier (still not easy though :-(  ) to get a regular program going with the above self-support things.  Then maybe if you hate the idea of taking them, you can wean off them,
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I am sorry you feel the same way I do but I am SO JEALOUS that you have the option to do what you want all day!  I hate working and I am so very tired all the time and nothing helps (ex: therapy, medication, reading self-help books).
I think life is so pointless and exhausting and I don't know why people do it.
I hope you feel better knowing that, at least someone out there is jealous of you and would give ANYTHING to be retired and free of this horrible ****.
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I am so thrilled to find people out there like me. I thought I was the only one! 44 years old, have raised 5 children, used to be...not really social...but I would occasionally goto a social gathering at friends or families. Now all I want to do is stay home, and the only people I care to see are my children. I do keep a clean house, and love to cook but outside the house I&#39;m a mess. I hate people, I feel like every where I go people are judging me or dislike me, I have trouble keeping a job bc of anxiety and having to meet new people. I just don&#39;t care about anything anymore. I used to love to shop, I hate doing that, I used to love to go for walk but hate that, I used to love to talk on the phone and now I hate that. I&#39;m just a big blob of nothing! I have hypothyroid which is out of whack again but nobody listens, I need a job but the thought of it terrifies me. All I want to do is be home in my comfy house, in my comfy clothes, watching TV with my fur babies, or cleaning my house. I have projects to do which I would typically jump to do but now have no interest. I am on several medications for depression and anxiety so I don&#39;t know what my problem is!
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I like you came to a point where I felt life was so pointless and secluded myself in my bed for 3 months. I was diagnosed with severe depression. Once you have that outlook that life isn&#39;t worth living your life becomes a living misery. Knowing your going to wake up makes you miserable because you don&#39;t want to deal with life and wish that you could sleep through life.  Please i don&#39;t know you but I want you to know that you are not alone. Don&#39;t give up on yourself and on life. this life is just a milestone to get to the next life. Remember all men/women will die so don&#39;t just sit around waiting to die. Snap out of it. Remember the fun times in your life (remember everyone has had some great times in there life eg winning a sport when u wer younger, a birthday party you had that was incredible and you wer in cloud 9 for days, a boy you liked that ended up liking you back and it kept u up all night smiling) remember these things and then go out and find something that will make you happy again and want to live life again. Is there something you always wanted to b eg a nurse a teacher even a shop assistance go out and study it do it u will get back that happy feeling that satisfied feeling that we have all experienced. Don&#39;t let these dark days erase the great experiences u have had and now find new memories find new fun exciting memories. Don&#39;t wait around waiting to die. Start today don&#39;t say tomorrow.  Go live ur life and before u know it u will b at deaths door. Get into religion and read about the after life&#39;s wher we will b happy and stress free for eternity it makes u feel better about life.
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