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Avatar universal

Do you feel the same way?

hi I'm Luke I'm 28yr old old. I have a beautiful partner who I live with. You could say I have the world at my feet. It's far from the truth tho.
Iv been living with depression for over two years now. I'm the type of person who believes a man shouldn't cry and also a man  who puts every 1 first before myself.
Well how do I start.?
I'm the man who puts on that fake smile to everyone he meets. I'm the man who is acting out that I'm doing fine and the world couldn't be any better than it is right now. All the people who know me think iv got everything but they don't understand, nobody does!
It's like I'm living to separate life's. The brave happy Luke and the worried scared tearful Luke. When I'm alone all I do is cry,worry, and watch my world full apart at my feet. Iv been to the doctors and specialists for my depression but all they do is give you tablets and say you will start to feel better after a couple of months. I'm on 45mg mertazpine. Iv been on these for a while but all they do is make me tired and more depressed. Before you all say it, Iv talked to my partner about what I feel or think but she doesn't have a clue. I don't blame her for this as she is only trying to help.
Iv been with partner for 8yrs. She fell in love with a muscular confident person which swept her off her feet but now I have this depression its making are relationship hard. It's like I can see us drifting apart but no matter how much I try to fix it. It don't seem to work.
I have self harmed in the past to take away the pain for that split second. I'm a emotional wreck inside but I have to put on a brave face on the outside.
I just don't no what to do no more and it's hard to carry on.
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Avatar universal
Hi Luke,

When I read your post so much info flooded my mind to share with you. I too suffer from depression.

First, not all Antidepressant's are the same. It is trial and error to find one that works best for you because everyone responds differently to them. There are many different ones your pscychiatrist or dr, which ever one you see, can suggest you try. It does not sound like the one you are taking is working or you need a higher dose for the one you are taking.

Have bloodwork done that involves moods as well as your whole system. For example if you have a Thyroid problem, that can certainly cause depression and there is a specific med for this to get the Thyroid under control. Deficiency in vit B, D, or folic acid can cause depression. Low in iron causes low energy. There is a fix for these things and they can do bloodwork on them to see your levels. As you probably already know there are internal and external things that cause depression.

Taking fish oil without mercury helps many people.
Taking Deplin which is L-mythlfolate helps with depression. This can only be prescribed by your dr because it only comes by prescription. I recently, faithfully, with food, starting taking this and it is helping me so much. I also have to take Thyroid med as well as vit B and D because I was deficient. Talk to your primary dr. The Deplin prescription came from my pscychiatrist who wanted me to start taking it to see if it would help.

There are other things you can do to help yourself even force yourself to do.
Therapy helps. DBT and or CBT Therapy helps. Find out what kind of therapy you think would help you. Any kind of exercising even if it's just walking which triggers good feeling endorphins. You might not notice right away but over time. Try to be consistent. Yoga and or meditation also helps with depression. Listening to upbeat music. I love the song "Happy" by Pharrell Williams. Having something you like to do such as a hobby, anything you can think of that might help you feel better. Even getting out to a movie by yourself or with someone. Your focused on that movie and not thinking about anything else. I watched two movies back to back by myself last week at the theater and it made me feel good. I will be adding that to do often because it helped me. There are many options. I know with me anyway lack of motivation comes with my depression. That's why I say sometimes people have to force themselves to do things. Just some suggestions.

I understand you feel like you are living separate lives. Your not alone with this feeling. It's hard and taxing on us. We must put ourselves first and do the things we need to do to help ourselves get better. What's the alternative if we don't. Try as hard as you can to think positive, pat yourself on the back when you have done something good for yourself, tell yourself things will get better. Give yourself compliments. Good self talk really does help. All these things take time but they work. And by the way, it' perfectly okay to cry, man or women. Sometimes it's a great release. Believe in yourself.

Take good care of yourself, Crystal
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Avatar universal
Hey, I was busy. Hope you're ok now
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Avatar universal
II know how u feel like iv just started on the same mess they do help a bit think back was there a reason why u felt like this as you state you was happy before
Helpful - 0
16156158 tn?1445735275
"Though my heart is fast, I be born without a mask."
-Mumford and Sons
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Avatar universal
U ok kris? I'm sitting here at home with this sickness feeling inside. I don't no what to do.
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Avatar universal
Yeah, I know what you're feeling. Your welcome
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Avatar universal
Hi Ryan hope you are sir. As you might feel,every day is like climbing a mountain of emotions. I just wish there was a answer to why and what made me depressed. Thanks for your reply. It's just nice to know someone is feeling a little like me.
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Avatar universal
Hi Luke. I'm Ryan and I'm 15. I have the 100% same exact problem like you. I'll deal with this depression I had since 12 by putting my hand on my heart and feel it beat. In my mind this sentence will appear " what I'm feeling now is worth living, as long as I can feel it I know there is something I must accomplish." This is what I'll do, hope it helps.
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