Hi Luke,
When I read your post so much info flooded my mind to share with you. I too suffer from depression.
First, not all Antidepressant's are the same. It is trial and error to find one that works best for you because everyone responds differently to them. There are many different ones your pscychiatrist or dr, which ever one you see, can suggest you try. It does not sound like the one you are taking is working or you need a higher dose for the one you are taking.
Have bloodwork done that involves moods as well as your whole system. For example if you have a Thyroid problem, that can certainly cause depression and there is a specific med for this to get the Thyroid under control. Deficiency in vit B, D, or folic acid can cause depression. Low in iron causes low energy. There is a fix for these things and they can do bloodwork on them to see your levels. As you probably already know there are internal and external things that cause depression.
Taking fish oil without mercury helps many people.
Taking Deplin which is L-mythlfolate helps with depression. This can only be prescribed by your dr because it only comes by prescription. I recently, faithfully, with food, starting taking this and it is helping me so much. I also have to take Thyroid med as well as vit B and D because I was deficient. Talk to your primary dr. The Deplin prescription came from my pscychiatrist who wanted me to start taking it to see if it would help.
There are other things you can do to help yourself even force yourself to do.
Therapy helps. DBT and or CBT Therapy helps. Find out what kind of therapy you think would help you. Any kind of exercising even if it's just walking which triggers good feeling endorphins. You might not notice right away but over time. Try to be consistent. Yoga and or meditation also helps with depression. Listening to upbeat music. I love the song "Happy" by Pharrell Williams. Having something you like to do such as a hobby, anything you can think of that might help you feel better. Even getting out to a movie by yourself or with someone. Your focused on that movie and not thinking about anything else. I watched two movies back to back by myself last week at the theater and it made me feel good. I will be adding that to do often because it helped me. There are many options. I know with me anyway lack of motivation comes with my depression. That's why I say sometimes people have to force themselves to do things. Just some suggestions.
I understand you feel like you are living separate lives. Your not alone with this feeling. It's hard and taxing on us. We must put ourselves first and do the things we need to do to help ourselves get better. What's the alternative if we don't. Try as hard as you can to think positive, pat yourself on the back when you have done something good for yourself, tell yourself things will get better. Give yourself compliments. Good self talk really does help. All these things take time but they work. And by the way, it' perfectly okay to cry, man or women. Sometimes it's a great release. Believe in yourself.
Take good care of yourself, Crystal
Hey, I was busy. Hope you're ok now
II know how u feel like iv just started on the same mess they do help a bit think back was there a reason why u felt like this as you state you was happy before
"Though my heart is fast, I be born without a mask."
-Mumford and Sons
U ok kris? I'm sitting here at home with this sickness feeling inside. I don't no what to do.
Yeah, I know what you're feeling. Your welcome
Hi Ryan hope you are sir. As you might feel,every day is like climbing a mountain of emotions. I just wish there was a answer to why and what made me depressed. Thanks for your reply. It's just nice to know someone is feeling a little like me.
Hi Luke. I'm Ryan and I'm 15. I have the 100% same exact problem like you. I'll deal with this depression I had since 12 by putting my hand on my heart and feel it beat. In my mind this sentence will appear " what I'm feeling now is worth living, as long as I can feel it I know there is something I must accomplish." This is what I'll do, hope it helps.