Aa
Does it ever get better???? For Real
The mood swings, the anxiety attacks, the depression, the suicidal ideation, all of it on on is once again rearing its ugly head and ruining everything in its path. I have been sober for almost two years and I thought that Ceirvo Seniorita was gone for ever. But even without the alcohol the ugly angry person seems to still want to destroy me. I contemplate suicide more and more each day but honestly I am afraid. I don't necessarily want to die I just want to stop hurting to stop hurting others and to honestly experience happiness. But I wait, I change what I feel will help, I listen to the advise of others and still my life ***** and I don't want to live it. They have messed with my meds so very many times and still can not get it right. Recently I have been experience pseudo-seizures where the battlling stress inside myself shuts my brain down - I wish this could happen at will,, there are days when I wish it were permenant but I revive, life goes on and can not deal with it.
Yes, It gets better......unfortunately not always when we want it too. I have posted this quote before but it has helped me a lot...Its an AA quote I think for the Big Book. Correct me if I am wrong....." Don't give up before the miracle happens!!"
It makes me realize that if I was to kill myself or just give up totally, that I will never know if things worked out for me!. This quote gives me so much hope, that I keep going because I know that someday, somewhere, it really will get better!!
blessings;
Dee
It makes me realize that if I was to kill myself or just give up totally, that I will never know if things worked out for me!. This quote gives me so much hope, that I keep going because I know that someday, somewhere, it really will get better!!
blessings;
Dee
I assume when you say "messing" with your drugs you mean trying different ones, changing dosages, and using "we" I assume means it's a joint decision between you and your doctor, which is best.. This is very normal and typical. If you see a good psychiatrist he will know what is best for you and he went to school a long time to know this. If you start researching every drug, it will make you crazy, as well as listening to other people. While this site is excellent for hearing about other's experiences, keep in mind that this is only a handful of people compared to the millions who never come here, and we are all different. We are lay people and can only offer support, and our own experiences. NOW is the best time to start therapy, you need to start talking ASAP to speed up your recovery, and delaying it will only prolong your agony. Especially since you have entertained the thought of suicide, this is a big red flag for help! Also, remember that suicide may not be better or the end of your suffering. You truly need to get into therapy, please do this right away because until you address all your issues, no amount of meds will help you
I have been battling depression for over 40 years. I have been on lots of medications. I have had over fifty Psychiatrist. I have really bad times still. My Doctors are looking into ECT now.
My life ironically does get better. I have been in a stable relationship for 12 years. I gave up alcohol 28 years ago and have not gone back. I have many of friends.
The disease of depression has not changed but how I deal with it has. It has not been easy. Sometimes it has been hanging on by my finger nails when I had no insurance and no professional help. My depression with out medication goes to the psychotic. Some days still I can barely make it. I know I will bounce back.
I have to break it down to a list of instructions of what to do if I get depressed and can't think straight.
It is not easy. I am better than I was ten years ago and way better than twenty years ago.
I hope you can feel better soon.
Alex
My life ironically does get better. I have been in a stable relationship for 12 years. I gave up alcohol 28 years ago and have not gone back. I have many of friends.
The disease of depression has not changed but how I deal with it has. It has not been easy. Sometimes it has been hanging on by my finger nails when I had no insurance and no professional help. My depression with out medication goes to the psychotic. Some days still I can barely make it. I know I will bounce back.
I have to break it down to a list of instructions of what to do if I get depressed and can't think straight.
It is not easy. I am better than I was ten years ago and way better than twenty years ago.
I hope you can feel better soon.
Alex
Hi mate,
In answer to your title the answer is yes, it is possible. Some of us take much longer to get through it than others as some are also luckier and don't have the worst things enter their lives that some of us do.
You talk a little about treatment but not much. You also say "They" when referring to your meds. You do understand that any treatment is entirely your decision don't you? Or do you just take what they prescribe and say nothing?
It is your job to decide what meds you want and don't want. The doc can tell you about them according to their books but they can't tell you from experience. People here can usually. You should never take a med without checking it out first via Google and a reputable meds site and then on forums like this.
Understand that it is not "they" at all. It is "We mess with my meds" as you agree to it. If things are going OK you just say No to any change. If you need to change then uncertainty is a given and you are the same as the rest of us in that respect.
Given you are thinking suicide it's not useful to do therapy but have you done therapy while not so depressed? It doesn't seem to mean much if you are very down but if you do have a relief period on meds then that's when to try therapy. CBT is good as you do it yourself after learning the process. Again though, don't try it while really down as you can't follow the process at that time. You have misery to keep you busy.
Ahhh, you have Mr Angry too. Moi aussi! I drank for twenty years, but only when I was awake. i was a happy drunk but eventually I turned violent. Stopped drinking next morning. 6 January 2000 it was. Huge night for me. Won't tell you the details, you've seen it I imagine or worse.
No you don't want to die. That's a valuable bit of info you know as many really think it's death they want. You are spot on. It's relief from the pain and hurt we all want.
How do you get it? Working very hard at it, finding a great doc, following advice once agreed, taking meds as agreed at the dose and time recommended, living soberly. Not just from alcohol. Live moderately, quietly. Don't expect the world to change for you and don't expect to recover overnight. It will take a long time but if you don't start it won't happen.
The mistake I made regularly was to take the treatment etc until I felt better then chuck the meds away and hit the pub, party!
Recipe for failure but slow learners such as I keep doing the same thing over and over. I call it the Bart Simpson approach to mental health.
Keep a mood diary. Try to eat healthy and exercise, if you can. I don't but I'm OK with the rest of my life right now so allow myself the luxury of sloth.
Good luck
In answer to your title the answer is yes, it is possible. Some of us take much longer to get through it than others as some are also luckier and don't have the worst things enter their lives that some of us do.
You talk a little about treatment but not much. You also say "They" when referring to your meds. You do understand that any treatment is entirely your decision don't you? Or do you just take what they prescribe and say nothing?
It is your job to decide what meds you want and don't want. The doc can tell you about them according to their books but they can't tell you from experience. People here can usually. You should never take a med without checking it out first via Google and a reputable meds site and then on forums like this.
Understand that it is not "they" at all. It is "We mess with my meds" as you agree to it. If things are going OK you just say No to any change. If you need to change then uncertainty is a given and you are the same as the rest of us in that respect.
Given you are thinking suicide it's not useful to do therapy but have you done therapy while not so depressed? It doesn't seem to mean much if you are very down but if you do have a relief period on meds then that's when to try therapy. CBT is good as you do it yourself after learning the process. Again though, don't try it while really down as you can't follow the process at that time. You have misery to keep you busy.
Ahhh, you have Mr Angry too. Moi aussi! I drank for twenty years, but only when I was awake. i was a happy drunk but eventually I turned violent. Stopped drinking next morning. 6 January 2000 it was. Huge night for me. Won't tell you the details, you've seen it I imagine or worse.
No you don't want to die. That's a valuable bit of info you know as many really think it's death they want. You are spot on. It's relief from the pain and hurt we all want.
How do you get it? Working very hard at it, finding a great doc, following advice once agreed, taking meds as agreed at the dose and time recommended, living soberly. Not just from alcohol. Live moderately, quietly. Don't expect the world to change for you and don't expect to recover overnight. It will take a long time but if you don't start it won't happen.
The mistake I made regularly was to take the treatment etc until I felt better then chuck the meds away and hit the pub, party!
Recipe for failure but slow learners such as I keep doing the same thing over and over. I call it the Bart Simpson approach to mental health.
Keep a mood diary. Try to eat healthy and exercise, if you can. I don't but I'm OK with the rest of my life right now so allow myself the luxury of sloth.
Good luck
Your not alone. I bounce back and fourth between times when I feel better for awhile, maybe 6 months and then BAM, for no reason the beast of depression and anxiety come back.
Been 19 years on this back and fourth hell ride. I don't know why my condition will always relaps because it will happen when I have changed nothing with my meds.
Then they want to change my meds again and it a freaking 6 more months before they find the right combination to give me my life back.
It's like waiting for the hammer to drop all the time and with each relaps I find it harder to get up and fight it again.
Trying to hold a full time job and dealing with this **** is like pulling teeth. Nothing like having to go to work when you can't even focus enough to make a pot of coffiee.
How I manage to hide it and pull it off at work is still a miracle to me. If I were them I would have fired me long ago.
I ******* hate this disease.
Been 19 years on this back and fourth hell ride. I don't know why my condition will always relaps because it will happen when I have changed nothing with my meds.
Then they want to change my meds again and it a freaking 6 more months before they find the right combination to give me my life back.
It's like waiting for the hammer to drop all the time and with each relaps I find it harder to get up and fight it again.
Trying to hold a full time job and dealing with this **** is like pulling teeth. Nothing like having to go to work when you can't even focus enough to make a pot of coffiee.
How I manage to hide it and pull it off at work is still a miracle to me. If I were them I would have fired me long ago.
I ******* hate this disease.
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