Aa
Dont know if im depressed but i need some advise.
I am a 14 year old girl (15 next month), and recently ive become alot more down than i usually am. Im usually a happy girl who laughs a lot. But now i cry almost everyday. Ive thought about suicide even though im scared too. I always think in my head that i just want to leave the world. Ive spoke to family members but never told them about some of the things i think like about dying. They think its just because of my age and how i am growing up but i think its more than that. I just need some advise or someone to speak to about it. Please help.
Hello Lc,
I was just like you at your age. Whether you have depression or not, I know this about being a young teen and having sadness issues. This is when hormones upon hormones and more hormones are surging thru your system, and it can make you feel a lot of strange things, make you do stuff you wouldn't normally do, it's a huge difference from when you were 10 years old on up to 14 or 15. Normally, by the time you hit 16 or 17, your body will adjust to the surge in hormones, and you will just be regular again, only more grown-up feeling than at age 10. It's an age-related things, some people get it worse than others.
Anyhow, I want very much to give you a couple resources that should help you quite a bit to cope with all this up and down, roller coaster type surges of emotion. One is to talk to a counselor of some kind. You have several choices. One is to arrange to spend a little time with the school counselor. Some are better than others, but most all of them will be able to tell you where you can go to talk to someone whose profession it is to talk to you on a scheduled basis, like once a week, twice a month, just whatever you think you can manage. There are "free clinics," usually with our county's health department, that will always have a psychologist or sociologist on staff who you can see as a walk-in. You'd need to tell your folks, tho, to get permission and assistance in visiting these out-of-school professionals.
Also, there are quite a few websites online that have very good forums, very active and up-to-date, where you can interact with posts like this or in chat rooms about how lousy you feel whenever you feel that way. One is this:
http://www.depression-understood.org/community.htm
And then there's some general good health practices that will make it MUCH easier to handle your moods and such. For example, when I was much younger than when I "lost it" as a young teen, and that was when I used to go horseback riding all the time. I was taught how to ride by the stables people, I'd ride my bike there or my folks would take me, and it was a fun way to spend Saturdays on the weekend. You could pick almost any sort of sporting activity, like tennis, yoga, swimming at the YMCA, and self-defense classes, also lessons on how to sketch and then paint (often classes will go to locations outdoors), learn how to do various dances like salsa and tango. Find your niche in keeping physically active. It releases a lot of tension that can build up very easily when you're the age you are.
And then at school, concentrate hard on how to get good grades so you will have very good study habits by the time you get to high school, and also find an at-home activity that is productive and you enjoy, like knitting, sewing (which comes in handy if you ever wanted to design cltothes like on "Project Runway," again drawing, listening to music is worthwhile so that you can decide what "genre" of music you like and who all plays it, like I love the Blues, and back in my day, Eric Clapton and B.B. King were the top guys, and then more recently John Mayer (altho he crosses into rock). The main idea is to become fairly expert in a couple things at home. If nothing else, go to the school library, and they will have the top ten fiction list, and you can simply browse the nonfiction section, to where you can look at endless books about taking care of dogs and dog pictures, or architecture or home decor, or potential careers, you name it, it's in there.
I know I've talked too long, but I've been where you are. I don't want you to go down the road I went, which right there is where all my mistakes began. You must think of long-term goals and how to get there, even if it's just making your own clothes or reading ten books each summer or joining the Y to go swimming. Actually, if you cannot imagine what to do at all, think back to when you were 10 years old and (a) what you did in your spare time, (b) some talent that came out, like music or writing, (c) and how was your personality as compared to now: Were you calm and confident back then, why, and how come did you change? Were you sometime after that or before that in a situation that was particularly stressful, and figure that's the trigger for your crying episodes, and get help with reasoning thru how this is what life will sometimes look like and do your best to avoid such things.
Just think more in terms of not how you appear, or who you talk to, or what do you wish you were but are not. Instead, be yourself, try to be polite, intelligent, resourceful and busy and deliberate as often as you can. You can blow off steam not by freaking out, but rather being involved in being the best person you can be. And as I'm sure it's obvious to anyone who commented here in a positive way, I am very proud of you for speaking up here and trying to understand which way is up! That shows a lot of maturity and smartness, too, and you are brave to open up in this way. Now go out there and do it all.
GG
I was just like you at your age. Whether you have depression or not, I know this about being a young teen and having sadness issues. This is when hormones upon hormones and more hormones are surging thru your system, and it can make you feel a lot of strange things, make you do stuff you wouldn't normally do, it's a huge difference from when you were 10 years old on up to 14 or 15. Normally, by the time you hit 16 or 17, your body will adjust to the surge in hormones, and you will just be regular again, only more grown-up feeling than at age 10. It's an age-related things, some people get it worse than others.
Anyhow, I want very much to give you a couple resources that should help you quite a bit to cope with all this up and down, roller coaster type surges of emotion. One is to talk to a counselor of some kind. You have several choices. One is to arrange to spend a little time with the school counselor. Some are better than others, but most all of them will be able to tell you where you can go to talk to someone whose profession it is to talk to you on a scheduled basis, like once a week, twice a month, just whatever you think you can manage. There are "free clinics," usually with our county's health department, that will always have a psychologist or sociologist on staff who you can see as a walk-in. You'd need to tell your folks, tho, to get permission and assistance in visiting these out-of-school professionals.
Also, there are quite a few websites online that have very good forums, very active and up-to-date, where you can interact with posts like this or in chat rooms about how lousy you feel whenever you feel that way. One is this:
http://www.depression-understood.org/community.htm
And then there's some general good health practices that will make it MUCH easier to handle your moods and such. For example, when I was much younger than when I "lost it" as a young teen, and that was when I used to go horseback riding all the time. I was taught how to ride by the stables people, I'd ride my bike there or my folks would take me, and it was a fun way to spend Saturdays on the weekend. You could pick almost any sort of sporting activity, like tennis, yoga, swimming at the YMCA, and self-defense classes, also lessons on how to sketch and then paint (often classes will go to locations outdoors), learn how to do various dances like salsa and tango. Find your niche in keeping physically active. It releases a lot of tension that can build up very easily when you're the age you are.
And then at school, concentrate hard on how to get good grades so you will have very good study habits by the time you get to high school, and also find an at-home activity that is productive and you enjoy, like knitting, sewing (which comes in handy if you ever wanted to design cltothes like on "Project Runway," again drawing, listening to music is worthwhile so that you can decide what "genre" of music you like and who all plays it, like I love the Blues, and back in my day, Eric Clapton and B.B. King were the top guys, and then more recently John Mayer (altho he crosses into rock). The main idea is to become fairly expert in a couple things at home. If nothing else, go to the school library, and they will have the top ten fiction list, and you can simply browse the nonfiction section, to where you can look at endless books about taking care of dogs and dog pictures, or architecture or home decor, or potential careers, you name it, it's in there.
I know I've talked too long, but I've been where you are. I don't want you to go down the road I went, which right there is where all my mistakes began. You must think of long-term goals and how to get there, even if it's just making your own clothes or reading ten books each summer or joining the Y to go swimming. Actually, if you cannot imagine what to do at all, think back to when you were 10 years old and (a) what you did in your spare time, (b) some talent that came out, like music or writing, (c) and how was your personality as compared to now: Were you calm and confident back then, why, and how come did you change? Were you sometime after that or before that in a situation that was particularly stressful, and figure that's the trigger for your crying episodes, and get help with reasoning thru how this is what life will sometimes look like and do your best to avoid such things.
Just think more in terms of not how you appear, or who you talk to, or what do you wish you were but are not. Instead, be yourself, try to be polite, intelligent, resourceful and busy and deliberate as often as you can. You can blow off steam not by freaking out, but rather being involved in being the best person you can be. And as I'm sure it's obvious to anyone who commented here in a positive way, I am very proud of you for speaking up here and trying to understand which way is up! That shows a lot of maturity and smartness, too, and you are brave to open up in this way. Now go out there and do it all.
GG
Today i felt different, happy. I felt like maybe i wasnt depressed after all. Usually im up half the night then wake up really early but ive been waking up late. I hardly eat anymore. Today i thought i was fine. Went to my boyfriends like i usually do on weekends. I'm always happy when i'm with my boyfriend but now i just want to crawl into a ball and cry all day. My head is messed up. Im so confused.
Hello Lc_1998,
I just finished reading your comments. You say you've become a lot more down than you usually are. You say you cry everyday. You said you've
had thoughts of suicide. I think about dying. I think about leaving the world.
My dear young girl. You are only 14 years old. It sounds to me you are
experiencing symptoms of depression. You said to the previous poster,
you feel so alone. You're not alone Lc_1998. I know what depression symptoms feel like because I suffered a depression about 12 years ago now. I was a lot older than you, but many of your symptoms I experienced.
My suggestion is to look at BACK TO COMMUNITY. There is a series
of slides of sorts which say something like Symptoms of Depression.
I would take a look at that. I think this will confirm you feelings that you
are suffering from a depression. Then, I would perhaps go and talk to
your mom or another adult in your family you think will listen and support you. When I was going through my depression, I knew something was
wrong but when you're in the depression , sometimes you are suspicious
of other people, that's another symptom. I told my sister, we're very close,
how and what I was experiencing. It was my sister who made an appointment with my family doctor, drove me there, waited with me.
My family doctor confirmed I was experiencing depression. I received
medication from my family doctor but I also got a referral to a woman
who did group counselling therapy. Anyway, you need someone to take
you to your family doctor to be seen. Be honest with your doctor.
Tell him or her how you're feeling and what you're thinking, including
your thoughts of suicide. Did you know thoughts of suicide are very
common when you're going through a depression because basically
you just want the pain to end. It's not rational, but when you're going
through a depression, your thoughts aren't rational. You need professional help starting with your family doctor. You will feel better eventually.
I know it's hard to believe right now, but you will feel better. You just need
some help to feel better. You have your whole life ahead of you to enjoy.
Please know you're not alone. As someone who has been through a
depression, I know what a difficult time it is. This has nothing to do with
your age or how you're growing up. You have all the symptoms of a
depression. You could tell your mom or another trusted adult in your
family that you have looked at the series of information slides about symptoms of a depression, that you believe you have a lot of those
symptoms and that they need to make an appointment for you with
your family doctor so you can get the help you need. You'll be okay.
Take a few deep breaths and just know you will be okay. Take good care,
dear. Things will get better. Warmest wishes, Eve
I just finished reading your comments. You say you've become a lot more down than you usually are. You say you cry everyday. You said you've
had thoughts of suicide. I think about dying. I think about leaving the world.
My dear young girl. You are only 14 years old. It sounds to me you are
experiencing symptoms of depression. You said to the previous poster,
you feel so alone. You're not alone Lc_1998. I know what depression symptoms feel like because I suffered a depression about 12 years ago now. I was a lot older than you, but many of your symptoms I experienced.
My suggestion is to look at BACK TO COMMUNITY. There is a series
of slides of sorts which say something like Symptoms of Depression.
I would take a look at that. I think this will confirm you feelings that you
are suffering from a depression. Then, I would perhaps go and talk to
your mom or another adult in your family you think will listen and support you. When I was going through my depression, I knew something was
wrong but when you're in the depression , sometimes you are suspicious
of other people, that's another symptom. I told my sister, we're very close,
how and what I was experiencing. It was my sister who made an appointment with my family doctor, drove me there, waited with me.
My family doctor confirmed I was experiencing depression. I received
medication from my family doctor but I also got a referral to a woman
who did group counselling therapy. Anyway, you need someone to take
you to your family doctor to be seen. Be honest with your doctor.
Tell him or her how you're feeling and what you're thinking, including
your thoughts of suicide. Did you know thoughts of suicide are very
common when you're going through a depression because basically
you just want the pain to end. It's not rational, but when you're going
through a depression, your thoughts aren't rational. You need professional help starting with your family doctor. You will feel better eventually.
I know it's hard to believe right now, but you will feel better. You just need
some help to feel better. You have your whole life ahead of you to enjoy.
Please know you're not alone. As someone who has been through a
depression, I know what a difficult time it is. This has nothing to do with
your age or how you're growing up. You have all the symptoms of a
depression. You could tell your mom or another trusted adult in your
family that you have looked at the series of information slides about symptoms of a depression, that you believe you have a lot of those
symptoms and that they need to make an appointment for you with
your family doctor so you can get the help you need. You'll be okay.
Take a few deep breaths and just know you will be okay. Take good care,
dear. Things will get better. Warmest wishes, Eve
I feel your pain. Similar things happened to me. I strongly recommend asking your parents for counseling. It has helped me beyond believe!
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