ECT for Depression and very low libido.

[Mark61]

I am a 45 year old man with a 35 year old wife. We have 3 children and my wife suffers from Dysthymia ...long term depression. What the SSRI's she takes have done ie to remove her libido altogether. We were both wondering if good ECT was a viable option for treating her depression and restoring her libido. I am treated for deperession also (Prozac), but the medication has not affected my libido at all. This situation is very distressing to me ...it distresses my wife at times, but only for my sake. The loss of her libido is a real issue in our Marriage and we are desperate for any help.
Thanks

[vapors]

Impressive, uberadtx!  Outstanding advice.  A very accurate description of the issue and options for addressing it.  My complements.

[Mark61]

...OK, where do I start? I hate to admit I'm not a very knowledgable person when it comes to sexuality ...but I'm not.I guess I'm looking for a quick answer and there isn't one. I'm very down about this. Any help is welcome.
Thanks

[uberadtx]

ECT is a BIG decision.  ECT doesn't provide a long term solution to depression.  It usually must be revisited.  It also permanently alters brain functions.  Depending on what SSRI she is taking, she may have an option here or there.  First and foremost the depression is not helping her libido in the slightest.  There are varying degrees of dysthymia and flare ups can cause all sorts of problems.  My first suggestion is to re-invent the intimate nature of your marriage.  The internet is a wonderful resource for exploring sexuality.  What used to be a turn on years ago for her might not do it.  Her body has changed so her needs have changed along with it.  She may be too embarassed to explore this with you so encourage her to do it on her own. The Joy of Sex is a great conversation piece and there is no reason you can't peruse it together. Conversation about pictures and ideas is a great way to have fun and laugh together.  Your marriage is evolving and sex is no longer a means to an end i.e. children.  So you have to approach it differently. Not every encounter has to have an ineveitable ending.  No expections can break down walls, depression and pressure all at the same time.  Sometimes you just have to sneak up on that stubborn libido and surprise it!  I went through an awful period of a non-existent libido that distressed me.  But I read about it.  Mainly I found that it had to do with aging and stimulating my brain.  Knowing that I started exploring everything!! And I mean everything!! hahahahaha  For normal people, daily life zaps their libido.  But for people like us we have to work a little harder at it.  I found out a lot about myself and I am able to be more intimate with my lover.  I could tell you to find a therapist but where is the fun in that?  Why can't we find ourselves?  I don't think meds and treatment are the answer to everything.  I believe in being proactive in helping ourselves.  A therapist can enlighten you to the reasons you may feel one way or another but they can't guide you when you are alone.  Look at it this way: If you wanted to make a cake, would you call a chef at a resturant? Or would you find out what ingredients you need and the directions on your own?  Maybe you would call a friend for advice but then you still bake the cake on your own.  Bake your own cake.  You can make whatever you want and it will be something to be proud of.