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EXTREME LONLINESS
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EXTREME LONLINESS

hey everyone. i had a wuestion regarding my depression and feelings of extreme lonliness. let me tell you some backgroung info first. i a 18 yr old female, about a yr ago i had a serious overdose that resulted in PHYSICAL damage. i was in ICU for 2 wks and in hospital for 2 mnths. i was abused in everyway as a child. my father raised me my entire life as a single parent and alcoholic. 1 mnth after i got out of the hospital my father died of liver cancer (due to drinking, and only a yr after he was diagnosed.) anyways, i have been diagnosed with borderline personality do, major depressive do, ptsd, gad, and add. i have overwhelming feelings of lonliness all the time. it never goes awya. yet i have no desire to make friends or connect with anyone. i have tried almost everything for depression in the book. (cymablta, wellbutrin, lexapro, etc.) i am still extremly depressed. does anyone have suggestions for any depression meds or why the lonliness and depression refuses to go away or even subside?? any feedback would be extremely appreciated. ty for your time and god bless
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When you have so many diagnoses, it's really tricky to find a good combinations of meds. I can only speak from personal experiences, I'm Bipolar 2, rapid and mixed cycling,  ADD and I'm Bulemic in remission. As this is only a community forum we can only suggest what may help through personal experiences.

. There are a ton of meds out there that aren't in that category of drugs (SSRI/SNRI)
which work just, if not better then those meds.  Do you have a psychiatrist right now? If you don't, it's important that you do. I would have a look at mood stabilzers. I have been on most of the drugs you mentioned and more in that class. I've taken 8 of them, the last of them only had a 3 month period of working for me. I've switched to Lamactil, which was originally on the marked as an anti-epileptic drug and works remarkably well as an anti-depressant, and it helps with my anxiety to a certain extent as well. My depression started to really lift in October, the first time in over 15yrs, that I didn't feel a heavy weight in my body, but then my add/hypomania came out, but it's not so bad as the othe, I'm no longer self harming in any way, including food bingeing. I'm also on Seroquel which helps with my hypomanic and most ADD symptoms.What you do need to do is research your illnesses, find out the options, because there is a ton out there. You can control your disorders and not let them control you!

So basically my point is, there is hope out there, better meds and a light at the end of the  tunnel. I am going to say though, the pills on their own don't cause miracles, but between the drugs and you actively participating in your wellness, you can live a "normal" life.

Best Wishes,
LeftCoastChick
Depression Community Leader
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Avatar_f_tn
thank you so much for your info. i have a list here i got from my pharmacy and i will tell you some of the meds i took besides what i have mentioned above. the meds your speaking of (lamictal & seroquil) i have also tried, let me name some more, trazadone,zolpidem, lorazepam, cephalexin, xanax. (some of these meds may be for pain or something this list goes since feb 08 so i dont remember them all) anyways, i have a psychiatrist right now and curently only taking remeron for depression and sleep. i have had many psychiatrists &psychologists in thepast aht feel my case is too complex so they keep sending me elsewhere.

      thank you so much for your input and if you have anymore advise i would greatly appreciate it. also i always research my conditions to try to find out more but i will keep on trying. i really appreciate you feedback, let me know if you have anymore suggerstions! :)

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I've been on Trazadone for years, gosh at least 4 - but my memory bites a lot of the time. My pdoc and I realized last week I might be on too high a dose, I was on 200mgs at night to knock me out, I had a hard time staying asleep. I just dropped down to 100mgs and OMG I wake up feeling better - not so much brain fog, wow! Many of the meds you have mentioned are sedating and benzo's, they aren't good at treating long term issues. Have you thought about Lithium as a mood stabilizer. I have read recently they are using it for refractory(hard to treat) depression as well. My mood tanked in the beginning of October and almost went back into the hospital. No joke, 3 days later - no serious depression, it was night and day difference. I had to go off the drug, because my GP diagnosed me borderline Diabetic, not a good mix, but the drug worked so well. I went onto Depakote for 4 weeks slowly upped to 500mgs, I started getting rages by week 3, and dropped my dose in 1/2, then my pdoc dropped it again to 125mgs, still had issues, so I stopped it on my own.  He actually changed up my dosing of the Seroquel, 300XR mgs @night and 100mgsXR @noon. Sometimes these meds need to be tweaked, I find both pdocs and at times myself being impatient for results!

The brain is so complex and computers "inner works" don't even compare to the brain. I also suffer from what I was told was chronic pain syndrome, when you brain keeps firing pain signals even after you have healed. I have 2 discs which slipped now I have arthritis in that spot, and spondylolothesis, the worst of the 2 of them. My L5 is not completely fully formed and I have 7% movement, which isn't good, but I won't have surgery, because it could make my arthritis worse. The psych meds I'm on have considerably dropped my pain levels, I don't know why, but if it does for whatever reason, I'm going with it.I told my pdoc I will refuse to go off the Lamactil(250mgs@night), it seems to be the one constant drug - so I'm guessing it's that drug. He thought about it at one point, I outrightly said no. I will go to another pdoc if he tries. I don't like him much anyways, he's obviously burned out and doesn't give a ****.

My original pdoc was a resident and really informative, I felt a great deal of support, and very sad she moved over to inpatient care. She was the best pdoc I had, she cared.  So I am pretty much alone, and relying on my support group as well - realized I had to take the proverbial "horse by the reins" and just hunker down and do a lot more self care and work.  What I mean by self-care is, taking baby steps doing things, I don't take on more than I can do that day, sometimes I can do more, somedays barely anything, but I try. I will make sure I go for a walk, do the basics and if I feel really good I might go shopping or get a coffee and walk to the beach.

I hope this helps further,
:)
LCC
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Avatar_f_tn
I read you other post, and see you have a lot of unhappiness when thinking about the past with your father. I read that most people spend 2 hours a day regretting the past, but it takes a big toll on their health. I was in that regret group most of my life.
It is not easy to learn how to stop regretting, but I mainly did through self help books. If you see a counselor, they can help point you in that direction, if you are willing. Believe me, when I gained 2 hours a day and cut out 2 hours of being unhappy, I had a changed life.
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thank you for your feedback. yeah, i am unhappy alot, especially when thinking about the past. i will talk to my psych about some books. thank you so much. godbless
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Keep trying, and something good might happen.
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LCC knows what she's talking about, she's helped me open my mind to the possibility of psych drugs that I was afraid of taking when my myriad of problems weren't solved by antidepressants.  There are so many meds, therapies and philosophies out there to try, just never give up on it, there is a solution for you out there, you just have to find it.  One good book I would suggest is "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz, it helped me let go of a lot of emotional ties to the past.  Good luck with your journey to happiness!
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well i am really happy that you are finding meds and other things tjhat are working for you. i am willing to take any advise so i will deff, talk to my psych about the advise ive been told by her & anyone else. the one good thing that i do realize is thwat i am young. i am only 18 yrs old so i know i have alot of time to try different things and find something that works. thank you all. good luck with everything.
god bless
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Avatar_f_tn
there are many people who can relate to you, and many of us might be in similar circumstances. many people cannot get rid of the feeling of loneliness even when we're with another person, but making our happiness depend upon another person can lead to more problems.
i don't like medication; it makes me dependent upon something for my happiness, whether it's chemical or not. same thing, i've had best friends who've simply walked out of my life, and that's sad. Epictetus has a book called the Enchirideon--it's old philosophy, and it's nice to hear. it's about not placing expectations on the world to make you happy, but at the same time, its hard to expect so much of yourself.
i guess that doesn't say a lot, but there's nothing wrong with feeling sad; a lot of it has to do with self-acceptance, and often that can lead to happiness. there's nothing worse than feeling emotional anguish, but if you can sit and let it pass over you and not struggle it can make it a lot easier.
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thank you, yes that does somewhat sound like me, i do depend on other people to makr me happy. i will deff. look for the book you mentioned and the one(s) mentioned above. it is goood to know that some many other people can relate. thank you
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I have to point out that yes, meds aren't a quick fix. Things happen in our live that do make us sad. Life isn't all happy happy joy joy right? Sometimes life is awful, but without the negatives, when something good happens, would we appreciate it as much? I don't think so, we would take things for granted. It really the only way we learn how to get things right.

I also have to point out that the brain doesn't stop growing until you are about 21 or so. Your brain chemicals and it's growing pains are wacky - I know that my temper was really short as a teen, I would sleep 10 hours a day and then bounce around. It's all the growth process, then usually your brain simmers down when the rest of your body stops growing.

That being said, some depression, especially if it's re-occuring or more then 3 or so months should be addressed medically as well. It doesn't mean a life time of meds, some folks take them until they think the rough patch is over or the feel that they've got good coping mechanisms. Some like myself, have chemical imbalances. Meds are a part of life, I'm not thrilled - but I'm still here, being all stubborn and feisty. *winx*
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You wrote, "i don't like medication; it makes me dependent upon something for my happiness"

I would disagree with that statement at least as it applied to me. My doc said I needed meds in order to remember what it was like to be happy, then I could go off them later when I felt the time was right. That is the way my life unfolded and I am off them now, so I was never dependent on them, other than for a temporary period.

There was no other way to recover from the low I was at, in combination with the anxiety attacks I was tormented with every minute. There just wasn't any time in the day for happiness, so the med was the only way to get back to normality. The med was a lot better alternative than fighting the futile fight by trying to recover on my own.

The med worked with me to resolve my issue, so it did not control me.
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I know this sounds a bit stupid, but having a friendly cat by my side normally stops my feelings of loneliness, it may help you too who knows.
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