Effexor XR, there and back again...has this happened to you too?

Hello everyone!
I was first started on anti-depressants over five years ago because stress, anxiety and major depression were starting to ruin my life.
I was also prescribed Clonazepam to deal with panic attacks and I did not have to take it everyday.
They first tried me on Zoloft but it seemed to have no positive effect and was making me feel pretty lousy overall.
Then I was on Lexapro up until about almost a year ago, and that was going very well for me.
But they wanted to see what had the best effect so they even tried me on Effexor XR, I just switched overnight and actually was okay except for a few minor side-effects.
I then had the crazy idea, after five years I decided maybe I should quit this stuff all-toghether?
I had been on the Effexor for several months at this point, and felt okay for the most part but didn't want to be dependant on this type of stuff for the rest of my life.
I was worried about what the long term effects might be.
So little by little I lowered my dosage by taking apart the capsules and taking out a few of the little white balls, just a few at a time everyday.
The big mistake was not going to a doctor and doing this the correct way in the first place, I should not have been doing this on my own, but that's a mistake I am living with right at this moment.
Anyways, i had read about other people who quit it and had little to no problem doing so.
I figured, if they can do it, so can I and I did, for a short time.
I went through the withdrawal effects, dizzyness, light-headed, brain-shivers and insomnia.
Those effects gradually decreased over several months and then I felt good, like my normal self again.
But that only lasted for about two weeks and then all of a sudden I was hit all at once, like being hit by a mack-truck.
I was becoming very depressed again, worse than even before I took any type of anti-depressants.
I was/am crying all the time, feeling deeply depressed, not eating as much as I used to and my insomnia became even worse.
I also have pain in the right side of my chest and it feels tight and like a balled up knot, which I understand is related to anxiety.
Speaking of anxiety, I could not stand being off of the medicine and had no choice but to start taking it again.
But the thing is, I still feel like I have bottomed out and then some.
I have been taking it again for a few weeks now and I still feel depressed, panic, high amounts of anxiety, despair and my mind seems to be racing.
I keep having thoughts about death and people dying, thinking I am just going to die and I feel really sad about everything.
The only thing that calms me down is the Klonopin, and I don't want to take that everyday and become a spaced-out zombie.
Although that might be a better state than the one I am right now.
I actually feel like I am in the middle of a never-ending anxiety/panic attack.
When I can actually sleep, I wake up and there are those feelings again.
Also when I can sleep, I tend to oversleep by several hours.
I feel afraid, alone, helpless and sometimes hopeless.
I have no idea how long this is going to last and it's really starting to drive me crazy.
I have no intentions of hurting myself, I just want this emotional roller coaster to end.
When I go back to my doctor I am going to ask to be put back on Lexapro, unless anyone knows of something that works better?
I don't even really feel like myself half the time and things that I used to do for fun, I just don't care anymore.
I honestly feel like I was just dropped into a black pit and I cannot get out, that's how horrible this is for me.
I feel so much worse than before I quit it, and I am stuck in this major depressive episode.
How do I even know if the Lexapro will help me if I go back to that?
I am just really freaked out about all of this and during the holiday season, this has made things nearly  un-manageable, but I know I cannot be the only one to have gone through this.
Even as I write this I feel a sense of dread, anxiety and panic, for no reason that I know of.
Did quitting the Effexor the way I did, and the re-start taking it screw with my mind?
And if so, can this be reversed?
I have been like this for almost a month now and I can't stand it anymore, I am willing to try and medicine that will make this stop.
Also, as might be usual with this sort of thing, my sex drive is pretty much totally gone, and I feel afraid to even sit in a room by myself, which I never had a problem with before.
Alot of these things I am experiencing are things that I never dealt with before, or at least not at this magnitude.
I have tried St.John's Wort twice in my life, once before I ever started on anti-depressants and another time before I re-started the Effexor.
both times it did not help me and I could only take it for about a week because it caused me to have really bad headaches for some reason.
It is a comfort to know I can come here and talk with other people, but it's hard to distract myself from these thoughts in my head that loop over and over again.
I just want to know if anyone else has gone through this or a similar situation and if possible, explain to me how you got out of it.
As it so happens, both sides of my family have a history of major depression, lucky me.
Most of my relatives take care of their problems by drinking and smoking, which I don't want to do.
Anywho, thanks to anyone who has taken the time to read this, I appreciate it.
I am open to any reasonable advice.

[dwt7let]

Hi So sorry to hear how your suffereing but this is not you it's withdrawals even if you go
back on the medication because you had been off then quite a while. I am in a support
group and there is a lady like you there, the withdrawals mimic depression anxiety. Your brain does like sudden changes and going back on them has exaggerated the
withdrawals you are not going mad and you won't go mad !! I have been off effexor seven months now physical symptoms are subsiding but ive got the loneliness, fear, in the morning is the worst you will find that. If I get the anxiety I say to myself i'm not going there and tell myself it's withdrawals it really helps.
Effexor is a horrible drug to come off if I'd known that I would never have gone on them
I was on them eight years. I am on a beta blocker propananol 40 mg's and clonidine 100 mg's to help with the withdrawals. Your panic will be palpitations when you are on these tablets they shut down adrenaline and then when you come off them your body
over produces adrenaline.
In time they will go next time do it very gradually you could ask Cita my support group how to come down they are on the web.
Take care
Love
Lorraine xx

[GummyBear83]

Ummm, just wanted to say sorry if my post is too long.
I wasn't trying to write a book, but was hoping that having added details would help if anyone had any advice or info for me.
What I am saying in basic terms is I quit Effexor, went through the withdrawal, felt fine for a week or two and then felt worse than ever before.
I started retaking the medication again and now I have symptoms that I never had when I took it the first time.
Namely, increased anxiety, worse insomnia and overall just feeling worse.
I don't know if maybe it's because I am taking a generic version of the drug?
Anyways, if anyone has anything to say/add please do so.
Thanks!

[kaindragon]

when you talk to your doc. you may have to start on a higher amount of Lexapo.  I know  they had to up mine do to the depression and  bipolar.  so i do  know how you are feeling.   may be a place to start, Also i know for a bit Abilfy  did help me  out  but   i had some odd side effects.  So i had to stop.
  I know it sounds bad  but keep talking about it. Write and jurnal it. do not be afraid of showing it to your Docs.  It will help them see what you are going through at the time.  
  It is scarry but you are not alone. Times it does feel that way. Just remember you are loved and  there is alwasy hope and light at the end of the long road.  

[GummyBear83]

Thanks for the kind words.
I never even thought about Abilify and I will look into that.
My main problem is dealing with the anxiety/panic aspect, it's driving me up a wall.
There are so many different drugs/meds out there it's hard to know what works best.
Anyways, thanks again!

[dwt7let]

Hi So sorry to hear how your suffereing but this is not you it's withdrawals even if you go
back on the medication because you had been off then quite a while. I am in a support
group and there is a lady like you there, the withdrawals mimic depression anxiety. Your brain does like sudden changes and going back on them has exaggerated the
withdrawals you are not going mad and you won't go mad !! I have been off effexor seven months now physical symptoms are subsiding but ive got the loneliness, fear, in the morning is the worst you will find that. If I get the anxiety I say to myself i'm not going there and tell myself it's withdrawals it really helps.
Effexor is a horrible drug to come off if I'd known that I would never have gone on them
I was on them eight years. I am on a beta blocker propananol 40 mg's and clonidine 100 mg's to help with the withdrawals. Your panic will be palpitations when you are on these tablets they shut down adrenaline and then when you come off them your body
over produces adrenaline.
In time they will go next time do it very gradually you could ask Cita my support group how to come down they are on the web.
Take care
Love
Lorraine xx

[GummyBear83]

Thank you very much Lorraine for the information, it helps to know I am not going insane.
I was becoming afraid because even though I have been re-taking the meds, I still felt like I was going through the withdrawal.
I am going to look into the things you mentioned right away because I am still feeling some of the effects even now.
You have made it through seven months of this!?
You must have nerves of steel.
Oh, and I know what you mean about the morning being the worst time...it's the same for me pretty much everyday.
If I ever knew the Effexor was going to make me feel like this I never would have let them give it to me in the first place.
Anyways, thanks alot and I really appreciate the info.
It's nice to be able to have some peace of mind in these matters.
Thank You!
- Jason

[tutan7]

HI ,
Been on Effexor and my Doctor changed my medication to dilouxetine packed them in seven months ago am taking 5HTP still bit ropey and anxious but determined to stay off either of them and yes Morning is still bad now !
Hang in there and hopefully  you will be fine over time like I will be myself

Billy  

[GummyBear83]

Yeah, I wish I never had to take any of these meds in the first place, but I kinda have no choice.
It ***** when these kinds of problems are genetic.
So did the Dilouxetine help you better than the Effexor?
I want to get off of Effexor and return to Lexapro because for me there were little to no side-effects on the Lexapro.
With the Effexor I have a hard time getting through the day without some kind of anti-anxiety medication to back it up.
I hope I don't have to rely on this stuff for the rest of my life.
I am going to hang in there, and I hope I will feel normal again sometime soon.
Thanks.

[dwt7let]

Hi
How do we know if we'll ever beable to be drug free unless we try, we now know that
it's not an easy road but if we do it gently, gently maybe. But we will have withdrawals even if we do it slowly Dr's do it too fast follow cita's way they are on the web.
When we are prescribed these drug's it's a game of hit and miss they don't know which part of our brain is depressed. I really feel talking therapy, exercise and taking natural things to help like 5HTP and St.John's Wort.
I can tell you it's been hard coming off that effexor it's been the most horrendous time in my life but I can tell you I am not sleeping all the time and don't feel like a zombie. I haven't been able to work for years but now I have hope, that's fantastic I hope to have a new life for me and my son. I still have to come off dolsulipin when I stabilize but I will do that slowly with help from cita.
Have Hope !!
Love
Lorraine xx

[dwt7let]

Hi
Forgot to say we are put on these tablets for anxiety but they cause anxiety, I used to dred getting out of bed thinking about all I had to do now since stopping effexor it's
gone !!
Lorraine x

[GummyBear83]

Yes, I really do want to try and quit this stuff, but I may need to switch back to my old meds that I used to take before this.
I haven't been able to work for years either because of my problems and I hate being dependant on these drugs and the system, but it's all I have right now.
Well actually that's not true, I do at least have my family to turn to for support, but one of these days I will have to go out on my own, and that scares me because I don't know how I am going to function in society being the way I am.
I do believe in giving natural help a chance, and I may do just that.
I had taken St.John's Wort twice in the past and both times it didn't really seem to help me, but maybe I wasn't taking it long enough?
It's just messed up because I quit Effexor, felt terrible and then I thought that by taking it again I would go back to normal, but no.
Thank you so much for the info and support by the way, it's nice to have anyone to talk to about these things.
Especially people who can relate to what I am going through.
I feel terrible but I have my mind set to get through this no matter what.

[remar]

I feel so bad for you . I used to take Effexor too and it was the worse med I've ever been on. After having so many problems I decided to quit taking it. Oh my gosh, the withdrawal was horrible and this was with tapering very slowly. Sometimes when we go back on a med it will not have the same effect, it can actually have the reverse effect and that might be why your having the severe anxiety. How long have you been back on the Effexor? The other posters are right about you still going through withdrawal if it's only been a short time that you've been back on it. It can take up to 6 weeks to start working. Personally, I would not recommend Effexor to anyone. It does help many people, but it was horrible for me. Can you work with your Dr on the tapering and go back to Lexapro? Hang in there, okay. We're here to help and support you anyway we can.   Remar

[GummyBear83]

Thanks for the concern, I truly appreciate it.
Yes, the withdrawal was/is very horrible.
I tried to come off of it slowly but I still got the bad side-effects.
I must have done it wrong, and I did it on my own, which can't be good.
Like you said, it is having a reverse effect and I feel more depressed, anxious and my insomnia is making my sleeping habits really crazy.
I actually like to write, and I have written several short stories, I do that for fun.
But now I feel like I cannot do anything, like I am trapped in this hole.
Well I can't truly say trapped because I have been trying to beat this.
Anyways, I was off of the Effexor at the end of October and went through the initial withdrawals until sometime in November, I can't remember anymore.
It was around then that I began to re-take the stuff because I had hoped it would reverse the feelings I was having.
So I would say it has been longer than six weeks now, and the misery never ends but I am finding some ways to help cope with it and deal with it.
One of them is coming here and talking with people, getting opinions, etc.
I want to switch to something else or just quit this all-together because it's not helping me at all.
I just can't imagine quitting it again and going through all that trouble a second time.
Maybe by switching to something else, and then coming off of that, I can do it the right way?
Basically I have been going through a living nightmare for months now, and I think you know what I mean.
Somehow my mother quit the stuff not too long ago, and she seems to be able to handle things okay, which is a mystery to me.
Maybe she has better tolerance than me?
Well thanks again for the support and if things get better, I will be sure to post it here.
Thank you so much!

[dwt7let]

Hi
These symptoms will stop but it will go on for a while, you could take melatonin to
help you sleep you can buy it from international pharmacy it's a legitimate american
pharmacy online, try 5 to 10 mg's of it. The good thing is this is not addictive like taking
sleeping tablets. I plan to do this when I come off the dolsulipin as theres nothing worse than not sleeping I'm only getting some sleep as dolsulipin is a sedative.
It depends how long you were on the effexor and yes is an individual thing, the withdrawal is evil. Don't suffer when you can take things to treat the symptoms it's so
scary and it is the most horrendous thing i've had to deal with in my life. But taking 40 mg's of propananol in the morning when I wake and 100 mg's of clonidine of a evening
help's relieve the palpitations I could not have got through this without them. If your Dr
won't help you find someone who specialises in these withdrawals or a Dr that deals with addictions. My Dr was no help he offered me to go back on effexor like you or take
valium.
Take care
Love
Lorraine xx

[GummyBear83]

Actually I do take Melatonin, and it does work well enough.
But sometimes I still can't stay asleep or I oversleep.
I only take 5mg's per night.
I also exercise on the bike I have for a half-hour or more to try and reduce anxiety and tire me out a little more.
I usually feel pretty good after that, but of course it doesn't last.
When I take a half of a Klonopin after being on the bike, and then take the other half early the next day, I feel even better.
I am thinking about taking some L-Lysine, an amino acid that I have read helps reduce stress and anxiety.
My father takes it too and he says I should give it a try.
But I am going to take 500mg of that instead of the 1000mg my father takes because it's based on body-weight and I don't want to overdo it.
But yeah, the Melatonin is much better than regular PM sleeping pills, thos made me feel hung-over the next day.
I am going to try and replace the Effexor with something that has fewer side-effects, and would be easier to come down from.
At this point all I really need is to manage my anxiety, I can sort of cope with the depression part.
Thanks for keeping in touch!
Take care.
=)

[dwt7let]

Hi
That's good to hear you are helping your self and not suffering as bad, we need to help ourselves stop those horrible withdrawals. I haven't been too good today I had pains in my chest I got up late for school with my son and was rushing round. Took my blood pressure before and it's a bit high no wonder I wasn't feeling good.
Alot of people change from effexor to prozac because its easier to come off. I'd wait till you stabilize that's what I'm going to do.
When you get the anxiety in the morning you could distract yourself with a meditation CD.
Take Care
Love
Lorraine x

[GummyBear83]

Yeah, I hope I stabilize soon.
I get the chest pains when I am in a state of anxiety.
Even though I am trying to help myself everyday is like a rollercoaster, some days are bad, some are worse and some are okay.
With the morning anxiety I actually pray, and that seems to help a bit, but sometimes my anxiety can last all day long, and it's a nightmare.
At least you are going to school and have something to look forward to, something to occupy your mind.
Then again, raising a child on the side can be a hassle, and I can only imagine what that must be like.
Maybe someday I will find that out for myself.
Yeah, I have been hearing about people going onto Prozac for a while, my cousin was on that, but my aunt had him take it because he was out of control.
Well I hope you start to feel better soon!
=)

[remar]

Be very careful about mixing supplements with the Effexor. In fact, if I were you, I would not do it unless your Dr gives you the okay to do so.
I'm sure you don't want to hear this but when you go off the Effexor again you will probably have some withdrawals. Work with your Dr to do it very slowly to make it as easy as possible.
I'm so glad you found this site. The people here are so nice and caring. They really understand what your going through. We're here to help in any way we can.   Remar

[GummyBear83]

So the amnio acid could make me feel worse with the Effexor?
I take vitamin supplements on the side anyways, but that's different from Lysine.
Well thanks for the warning, I will take that into consideration.
Yeah, I was expecting withdrawals again, but hopefully they won't last as long the second time around.
I could be addicted for all I know, and may never get off of it.
But, that's negative thinking and I am not going to go down that route.
I am supposed to be checked for low testosterone, it runs in my family just like depression, lucky me.
My gramps has low-t and so does my dad, so maybe I do too?
And on top of that there is also the chance I could have some type of diabetes, which also seems to be a genetic thing.
My father keeps himself in check by taking amino-acids and that's why he thought I should try it too.
He has alot of the same problems I have, but he no longer takes anti-depressants because his treatment for the low-t curbs that, and he only takes amino-acids and Klonopin, I think.
Anywho, thanks for the concern and the info, I appreciate it.
I will hold back on the L-Lysine until I know it is safe for me.
Thanks!

[remar]

Vitamins are fine to take, but be careful with any other supplement while your taking any antidepresant.
I think once you get off this med you'll feel much better. It's so strange how these antidepressants work. You can take it the first time and do well on it then try it a second time and have terrible results.
Yes, you should have tests for low T since it runs in your family. Your Dr can also check your blood sugar in his office. You need to fast for at least 12 hours though. Your fasting number should be below 100.
Have you started tapering  off the Effexor yet?   Remar

[GummyBear83]

Thanks for the info, and yes I have started to come off of the Effexor.
I am normally supposed to take two pills per day and for now I am only taking one.
Then I will work my way down from there.
I wish they were the regular tablets, then I could break them up but it's the capsules.
So yeah, I am on my way back out again, but at least I know what to expect this time around, no surprises.
I know some people have said the side effects have stayed with them for months and that's pretty scary, but it's not forever.
Thanks again and take care!

[dwt7let]

Hi
As your brain is having withdrawals from going off the effexor, then it's been upset by
going back on I would advise not withdrawing till you stabilise as withdrawals will go too severe.
Your brain does not like sudden changes so you need things to settle down I go to a
support group who specialise in it. We have a lady in our group who went back on the medication and is having very severe withdrawals and shes waiting for things to calm
down. The support group is called CITA they are on the web.
Take care
Love
Lorraine xx

[GummyBear83]

Yeah, I have been looking into CITA, thanks.
I feel like I am starting to stabilize, even though I am taking the med just once every other day instead of every single day.
So far there has been no adverse reactions with the amino-acid, and that seems to be working okay with some of the anxiety problems.
When I came off the first time, I should have just stayed off of it I guess, and never went back.
But then I wouldn't be here talking to all you nice people!
=)
Thanks for the concern, and I think I am going to get better soon.

[hava]

I have some natural methods to help you. Your determination to withdraw is very inspiring, and I want to monitor your experience. You have described your symptoms very well, so you will be able to say, which ones have gone, after doing the pranayam. Come back with your progress, so I can monitor the benefits you are experiencing, and in turn others will benefit.
Start with anulom vilom and bhramri for a few days, then do all pranayam, twice a day.
After you are better, continue the pranayam once a day for life.
Build up your timing gradually.If you feel tired or dizzy, stop and resume after one minute.
Kapalbhati pranayam -(Do it before eating) Push air forcefully out through the nose about once per second. Stomach will itself go in(contract in). The breathing in(through the nose) will happen automatically. Establish a rhythm and do for 20 to 30 minutes twice a day. Children under 15 years – do 5 to 10 minutes twice a day.
Not for pregnant women. Seriously ill people do it gently.
Anulom Vilom pranayam –
Close your right nostril with thumb and deep breath-in through left nostril  
then – close left nostril with two fingers and breath-out through right nostril  
then -keeping the left nostril closed  deep breath-in through right nostril
then - close your right nostril with thumb and breath-out through left nostril.
This is one cycle of anulom vilom.
Repeat this cycle for 15 to 30  minutes twice a day.
Children under 15 years – do 5 to 10 minutes twice a day.
You can do this before breakfast/lunch/dinner or before bedtime or in bed.Remember to take deep long breaths into the lungs.You can do this while sitting on floor or chair or lying in bed.

Bhramri Pranayam -Close eyes. Close ears with thumb, index finger on forehead, and rest three fingers on base of nose touching eyes. Breathe in through nose. And now breathe out through nose while humming like a bee.
Duration : 5 to 21  times.
January 14, 2011

[therese83]

Hi

I think you relapsed, it will take time for the medication to work again.  You are in depression.

I was in the same situation a month ago.  Twice I have thought that i have made a full recovery, by slowly tapering i gave up the medication.  It took 6 - 8 weeks for a full relapse.
Maybe i am dependent on the medication, I dont know?  
I am very healthy otherwise and yes, happy, so maybe it is something genetic, I cant come back from this awful place without medicaiton.

After i stabilise i will try a low dose, for maybe 5 years.  That is my own idea?

[tutan7]

Hi
You are not in depression you are in withdrawal, I too have felt felt up and down but
real depression does not come and go.
I helps to keep focused and say to yourself this is withdrawal, we are unfortunately addicts it's not an easy ride but we need to be kind to us and keep thinking this will not last forever we will survive and we can do it !!
Still concerned at you dropping the dose, but glad you seem to be doing ok, hope it lasts !!
take care
Love
Lorraine xx

[GummyBear83]

Thank you everyone for the helpful advice and information, part of me getting better has been because of this forum.
I will look into the things you have listed Hava, I have tried deep breathing and it does help alot, and also post my status once in a while.
Better than trying to breath into a paper bag.
Therese83, I thought the same thing, that I have had some kind of relapse.
It does feel like I am going to be stuck on anti-depressants, but if so, I want it to be something that is easier to quit than Effexor.
Tutan7, I actually think I have started to stabilize, because now I don't feel so up and down as much.
Are you the same Lorraine who goes by the name dwt7let?
Was just wondering, because I didn't know you had two screen-names.
Anyways, I have been taking my vitamins, and I do about a half-hour on the bike, sometimes longer if I feel like it and I take L-Lysine.
So far I am feeling much better than I was when I first started coming here, but I still take the Effexor, but less than I used to.
And sometimes when I feel I need it, I take a half of a Klonopin, but on top of all that I have you people to talk to, and I have been keeping my mind more at ease with some religious help too.
So I think I am on the upswing now, but things are far from perfect, yet things are getting much better compared to what I originally wrote.
Thanks for all the concern from all of you out there, I appreciate it.
I just have to keep it up and I will let you all know how things go, one way or the other.
=)

[therese83]

I think the only hope for me is to see how low i can go with the dosage?

Then stay on that for a year and see.  Just see if I can survive on less and less.

I have all the alternatives in place, did a jog this morning, very health consious, no drinking etc.  Lets see.

I dont know if I m addicted, I have never been 100 percent (bit of moody person outside of depression) i feel and as a child I definitely had a few bouts of depression.

I will never give up trying to give up the medication?

[GummyBear83]

I take 75mg, and it's the capsule so I can't take any less at this point without taking it apart and getting rid of the little white pellets inside.
The regular tablets are better I think cause you can break them in halves or quarters if need be.
I only drink on occasions like holidays and celebrations, but I will not take my meds at the same time, and I don't anything smoke either.
I have heard that anyone who has been on Effexor for over a month is pretty much addicted, but that is just what I heard and I cannot stand by that.
Exercise is good cause it gets rid of some of the adrenaline from anxiety and also releases endorphins, which is a natural stress-reducer, but I am sure you were already aware of all that.
If you truly set your mind to it and want to quit the meds, I think anyone can.
I just don't think Effexor is best for me personally, I would rather be on something less addictive.
But I have been getting better, even if some days I feel the anxiety creeping up on me, it's been decreasing little by little.
I used to take Effexor twice a day and now I only take it once, every other day instead of every single day.
So far that has been working out well enough for me.
I hope you can find something that works for you too.
Take care!
=)

[oddmum01]

I am "new" to this depression thing. Well by saying that I really mean that i have suffered with it on and off for 18years but 3 years ago when my Dad died, I lost the job I loved due to down sizing and my teenage daughter decided she hated me and the world I could not pick myself up from the down. My doctor put me on Effexor and the dose was continually increased up to 300mg a day with it still not working well!
I did the same thing and slowly over 4-5 months worked my way off them without the help of my doctor and was fine for about 4 weeks THEN OMG the depression hit me 100 fold!! I just snapped one day and packed some stuff in my car and left and that is were is slept till my sister convinced me to go to a clinic. They have stated me on Zoloft 50mg a day so hope this helps! BUT as for Effexor it was the worst thing that ever happened to me with the withdrawls and the side effects. Everyone including the doctors I spoke to say it is not a great one but for a select few it works well! Just don't try to come off IT!!!!!!!!!!

[GummyBear83]

Wow, I am very sorry to hear that you had to go through such a terrible ordeal.
Are you doing better now?
I sort of have an update for myself, I am no longer taking Effexor at all either.
For the past week or so I have gotten back onto Lexapro, and I also take only 0.5mg's of Klonopin for the anxiety.
I feel so much better now than when I first came here, but I am still feeling low from time to time, that is normal for me anyways.
But back to you, has the Zoloft helped you at all?
It's true that Effexor may work for some, but coming off of it, it was a total living nightmare.
That's sounds terrible that so many things happened to you at once, with your father passing on and then your daughter lashing out at you, and on top of that you lost your job.
I might have done the same thing and just hit the road for a while to get my mind clear.
When I quit the Effexor I thought I had really lost my mind, and there was no way back.
Even when I was taking it all over again, I still felt horrible.
But now I can say for sure that there is hope and that you just have to weather the storm.
Well I hope you are feeling some relief now, with the new medication.
I know it is kinda sad that some of us need to rely on meds to get by, but if it helps, why not?
I feel alot better now and I wish the same for you too!
Take care.
=)

[sleeping_less_in_Seattle2011]

You definitely sound like a survivor.  It's sad that you've been feeling this way for an extended period at such a young age.  I was 28 when my depression took a turn for the worse.  One of the things that helped me was a book called "The Bondage Breaker," written by an engineer who was once with the NASA space program.  He's one of the pioneers in the growing field of effective new innovative approaches to things like chronic depression.  He has even documented physical healings due to his positive steps of personal inventory.  When a rocket scientist says he has documented physical healings due to emotional/spiritual healing, that gets my attention.

Sometimes there can be something we're doing that, without realizing it, makes the depression worse.  

One thing you're doing well is being able to take the time to write about it-- It's been a while since I've been in counseling, but I think this works because it brings other people into our suffering so that we're not alone with it.  The worst thing that can happen with depression is isolation.  For years I was not able to describe to people what I was experiencing like a crisis line.  "What's your emergency sir?"  "I dunno...just don't feel right, you know?"  "This is an emergency phone service sir."  "yeah?"  "Well, maybe if I took that phone and...."  "Our service is not here for you to rant...."   "Stop using that language sir..."
The things you always wanted to say to phone counselors but couldn't.

[GummyBear83]

Thanks for the info, I will be sure to look up that book.
That does sound amazing for a NASA scientist to be talking about spiritual healing, I didn't think they believed in that, but they are human too it seems.
I know what you mean about the crisis-line thing, I tried an online version of the same thing except you have a live chat.
I was very limited as to what I could talk about, I couldn't even talk about meds or anything, just ways to help reduce my anxiety, but not the cause of it.
It was not very helpful because the things we talked about were things I already learned a long time ago, basic stuff from when I was still a teen.
I mean, I will take any helpful advice I can get, but why would someone bother to have a live chat with someone and it's like they are reading from the idiot's guide to depression?
I have been feeling this way since I was a child, and I never used to know what was wrong with me, and as you can imagine my teenage years were a sort of hell, but now I am getting better at being able to cope and manage this.
This site, MedHelp, has been a great help and is one of the few outlets I have to talk about these things with anyone because like you said about isolation, that's part of my problem too.
Okay, so I will go look up that book and thanks for the kind words and advice, I appreciate it.

[weezer555]

What is preferable, a living hell vs taking a pill once a day? Youre nort Psychiatrist nor an expert on psychotropic meds, go see someone. Its common for people with mental illness to quit their meds. Antidepressants simply restore normal chemical/neurological function. Like using insulin for diabetes. A diabetic quitting insulin with the same argument you have would be considered insane? Out of touch with reality, yes. Take care and get back on meds, make an appointment. Hang in there. Louise

[weezer555]

After thought...why continue Klonopin that is a benzodiazepine and habit forming and quit an antidepressant for fear of dependency?

[GummyBear83]

Actually I didn't stop taking meds, what I did was switch to a lower dosage of something different and easier for me to manage.
I know I am not an expert on this, or any subject, but I made a mistake and have learned from it.
Yes, it was my original goal to quit meds all together, but now I am not going to do that because like you said, that would be crazy on my part, and it was for a while.
I am seeing a regular doctor and I need to find someone to talk to about my mental problems too, but I have trouble leaving the house, you see?
So I am feeling better now with these new meds, and the Effexor was only helping somewhat but the side-effects were too much for me and that's why I tried to quit.
I only take Klonopin in case of a panic attack, I don't have to take it everyday and I was only afraid of being dependant on the Effexor because of how hard it is to come off of it.
I know I must have sounded like I wasn't making any sense, but I guess when a person is in distress they will do that.
I am more clear headed now, and I would prefer to take my meds over a living hell.
Thanks for the response and take care!
=)

[GummyBear83]

Oh, and I know Klonopin can be addictive but I can go a long time without it if I need to.
I only have it just in case, or if I get up and I feel like I need it for whatever reason.
I don't abuse it, and I know nobody was saying that, but I wanted to point that out.
Actually this thread has gone on longer than I thought it would and I am thankful for all the helpful advice too.
So my nightmare with the Effexor withdrawal is over and I am moving onto new business.
And trust me, I will never make the mistake of quitting cold turkey like that again, I don't know what I was thinking so please forgive me.
Thanks again everyone!

[GummyBear83]

Well, the good news is in, if you haven't already read it, I am no longer taking Effexor, but I am on something else and at a lower dosage.
The Effexor was at 75mg and my Lexapro is only 20mg, and I feel better already.
Not cured, but just feeling well again.
I take the lowest dosage of Klonopin just in case a panic attack creeps up on me again, and I don't feel I have to take it every single day either.
So if I ever want to quit my meds again I am going to do it the right way and it should be alot easier now.
For the time being I am staying on the Lexapro, and thank you to all the people who took time to post a response or words of advice.
And for all the people still going through the hell of withdrawal, hang in there, it will get better.
I know that may be easy to say, but believe me, you will live to see another day.
When I first came here I thought for sure I had gone bonkers and this was my last resort, just to see what others had been through and it's nice to meet people who can relate.
Anyways, I think I am going to take a little break from this site for a while and see how things go.
Thanks so much everyone!
=)

[Johnnnny54]

Hi Gummybear, I have taken Effexor (now XR) for about 14 years and quit it once.  Big mistake.  I slid into a serious depression.  With therapy and getting back on the med I got better.  My therapist and psychiatrist said the thing with patients is we start feeling better then feel we don't need this pill.  We stop taking it and get depressed again.  Each persons body is different so I really recommend you talk to a doctor about your meds and your current symptoms. Hope you start to feel better soon.

[GummyBear83]

Hey, you are totally right, I was feeling better and then I thought I could quit.
That's exactly what happened to me, but never again.
I have been seeing a regular doctor now and I am feeling much better now too, thanks!
You were on that for 14 years!?
Wow, well I hope that stuff works better for you than it did for me.
Stay well, talk to ya later!
=)