Extreme outbursts of Anger Resulting In Depression

i dont know how to describe it like really, basically i have this girlfriend and dont get me wrong i love her more than anything, but we get into these pathetic arguments, 2 weeks ago we had an argument after going to town because she didnt buy any jeans. th agument lasted a few hours and it was the one that started it, there would be moments i would just loose it and start screaming at her about how im trying my hardest and not getting anywhere, fter a 3 hour argument (thats how long they usually last) i break down big time i jus feel like the lowest thing in the orld, basically it doesnt even feel like i want to be living anymore (as emo as it sounds) but it feels like death would be a relief, (im not sure if i counts as depression). i dont know what to do, i dont want to say anythingto my girlfriend incase she leaves me any suggestions?

[Jikan]

Namaste,

From what you write, I don't see an issue with depression here at all. I see an issue of anger management and the ability to communicate as adults.

I would recommend couples counseling or at least a visit to a mental health provider for a complete evaluation.

Michael(Jikan)

[lonewolf07]

I have heard that depression is anger turned inward.  It sounds from your post that you regret your "inappropriate" expressions of anger.  As much as I respect Jikan (Michael) my perception of your problem is a bit different from his but I do agree that therapy is necessary.  I also have a lot of anger and rage for which I am in therapy.

I have little faith in anger management unless I am misinterpreting how it is done.  IMHO working through your anger with a therapist you trust and with whom you feel safe is the best thing.  Managing anger might work for awhile but eventually the time will come when you'll just explode if you can't get to the root causes of your anger.  Anger, despair - all the emotions that cause us harm - are toxic, poison and need to be gotten rid of.  We can't get rid of them for good but just like vomiting up toxic food so do we have to vomit up (metaphorically) our  anger.

Emotions such as anger are neither good nor bad.  It's how we handle them that is important.  You weren't born full of anger.  You are also intelligent enough to see that you have a problem with anger.  You'll get lots of suggestions and support here and I hope it helps.

wolf