Family issues and Winter blahs

My husband and I had not had any contact with our son for over 3 years, for some reason he just stopped calling and taking calls from us. This began just after my brother passed away suddenly and I can say that I have not been the same. My doctor would like me to take an antidepressant but I refuse since trying different ones and each one making me feel spacey or giving me nausea. I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder thanks to my family issues and lately things have gotten worse. I really hate taking medication for I become so tired and light headed. It was 2 months ago that we got a phone call out of the blue from our son. The first thing he wanted was money as he's decided to divorce his wife and he needed money for a deposit on an apartment that and his car needed a new water pump. I felt he had a lot of nerve calling out of the blue and asking for money but the hubby said yes. Now, it has caused a rift in our marriage and I can't deal with all the stress. Our son also said he wanted to come out first for Thanksgiving and then he couldn't make it so he's now saying he's coming next week but he's not given us his flight number nor what time his flight would arrive. I think he's just stringing us along and I am not up for games.
What can I do. I feel so down and find it hard to do anything, even thinking about doing simple things and I don't feel up to it. This is not living! I am really tired of my life and how my children are treating myself and my husband who also has congestive heart failure along with daily pain from a major car accident that almost killed him. I am worn out. Thanks for any advice.

[mammo]

As the saying goes "when children are young they step on our toes, when grown they step on our hearts."  I'm sorry for all you're enduring, this is a very difficult thing to deal with regarding your son.  I am with you on this, but maybe your husband has his own reasons for helping your son.  It sounds like he is facing his own mortality and wants to do all he can for him.  You know your son will never stand on his own two feet so long as he has his dad as a safety net. Maybe try explaining this to your husband and if he doesn't understand, just let it go. It's not worth the aggravation to you. Plus, to only call when he needs something is disrespectful and you both deserve better than this.  I think it's time for some "tough love" so that your son can survive once the two of you are gone. I would not get my hopes up that he is ever coming to visit, this way you're not diappointed. Don't let him think you are sitting around waiting for him, he needs to always be honest and do what he says he's going to do. Since the medications don't work for you, why not try therapy, it can be very helpful.  I know you're disappointed in your son and husband, but with your husband I would cut him a break, you just don't know what he's feeling with his failing health.  I couldn't do it without medication, I've had so many disappointments and losses.  You need to start living your life for you, doing things you are passionate about along with your husband.  Your children will see the light as you get on with living and not expecting much from them. But you need to take care of you and get yourself in a better place emotionally.  Try therapy and go from there.  It's time for you and your husband to enjoy life, make the best of the time you have.  We're always here if you want to talk or just vent, you can private message any of us as well. I do wish you all the best and take care.