Feel alone and like nobody understands

I was diagnosed with severe depression and bi-polar disorder a couple of years ago. They prescribed me Topamax and Prozac. After taking the meds a few months I felt fine and stupidly quit taking them. I haven't had a problem until recently. Im 22 weeks pregnant and I've had the depression since the begining. I think my depression was triggered by my pregnancy. I don't know if it's all the changes in my life or just my hormones kicking it in that triggered it.
I am feeling very lonely. I try so hard to be happy and if I ever feel happy I get this overwhelming feeling of guilt. I'm mean to my fiance and honestly I have lost interests in him. This may sound weird but I honestly  feel as though I can't feel love. My mind has cut me off from the world. I don't feel people's love towards me. I don't feel like I can love anyone. It takes so much for me to just make myself eat and to take care of myself it's just to hard to care for others. Anybody feeling the same? I just don't know who else to talk to.

[Hobby10]

Don't be too hard on yourself it is a magor job to bring a child into this world.   And you have to be careful about being on meds when u are pregnant because it might hurt the baby.  Part of your depression may be hormone related.  You and your fiancée are co parents to the child even if the relationship isn't working so try not to be mean to him because you are unhappy.  I assume the baby is his child but maybe I shouldn't assume. Make sure you get vitamins and fruit in u everyday and if you walk daily it should help u when it comes time to deliver.   As far as feeling or giving love it starts with you and even if u don't feel it try to make a choice that u are going to do loving acts of kindness towards your fiancée and those around you...  I say these things to try to help.  I don't want u to feel like u are alone but I want to try to give suggestions to help.  I would definitely suggest counseling for awhile at least til after the baby is born.   And again it's a big wonderful task to bring a baby into this world.  I have one child and one of the happiest days of my life was when she was out and healthy.  U have such awesome things to look forward to if u can work on u.   Don't b hard on yourself and u always got us if u need us....

[Hobby10]

I hope that didn't come off as a lecture just trying to help---- I've had very bad depression in the past..... I guess I'm trying to say if u work at trying to be happier then maybe one of these days you will really enjoy being you--- loving your baby--- living life.  I wish u the best.  And I'm here if u need to talk.

[treatnontoxic]

iodine deficiency causes depression, take kelp

[spydermam]

You should try hanging out with a few babies just watch them you don't even need to interact with them. Trust me they do the funniest things. I have a 18 month old and he is a hand full I won't lie but he makes me smile when I feel like crap. It must be the innocence or carefree in him. Try it out might make u feel better.- don't forget to smile. And even if the dad isn't in the picture your all those little eyes look up to.

[Poo44clooner]

I have major depression and had to stop taking my meds when I was pregnant. I worked everyday til almost the last minute. During that time my life was unbearable. I loved the child growing inside of me but I felt disassociated from everyone. I felt no one cared for me. I had no feelings, no happiness. I cried like a big baby everyday. My husband was never there for me. So at the job I worked they offered counseling. I would go once a week before I started my morning shift and would cry my eyes out to the counselor. She begged me to take tranquilizers but I refused because I thought that would hurt the baby.
You are not alone. You are losing interest in life and everything that is around you because of depression. That is what depression does. It is a thief. It robs you of being happy and when you are happy even for just a moment you feel such overwhelming guilt that even you doubt yourself about being depressed.
I don't know if you have spoken to any of your doctors especially to your gynecologist but you should and you need to. Don't feel embarrassed about your feelings. You need help. Television and movies make pregnancy seem wonderful and the best time of your life but for some of us it is the worst. How can you take care of yourself when the will to do so is gone. But now you are taking care of two and that makes it even worse.
I wish I could take away your pain and you could enjoy the life inside of you. You need help. Medical assistance for your brain chemistry. This lack of feelings and wanting to take care of yourself is part of the disease of depression.
Speak to a counselor and get a referral. Speak to your gyno and get a referral to a psychiatrist. You need help for your brain because for some reason your brain chemicals are all out of whack and you are not responding normally.
Please see someone as soon as possible.
I am here if you want to vent, talk, or ask questions about anything.
Angela