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Avatar universal

Feel like I'm dying soon and gone beyond numb, please help?

Around 3 days ago my depresson has gotten steadily worse. I'm 18 going on 19 soon. I woke up and suddenly it felt like my brain atmosphere had gone completley. It's been kinda leading up to it because my anxiety put thoughts in my head like I was gonna hurt my family.

I feel dark, like my brain is nightime and i can't put anything in words. i feel like I'm dying there is no fight my body its moving but I'm dead. I was sitting in a car and praying for another car to come along and hit me even though there were others in the car.

What even is this? how can I wake up feeling so different I was ok. I think I'm meant to die. There are so many signs like someone recently committed suicide, the chair was placed perfectly underneath the light where I could hang myself, I asked a magic 8 ball it said i should and my brother was talking about it in general and said pills are the best way to go.

People usually get reasons or something stops them I'm just getting the go ahead. I don'twant to be on pills for the rest of my life and what if i go for help and it doesn't work. then I know I'm going to commit suicide. I can't swallow pills thought so I can't take them to get better.


I can't feel anything and i feel like I'm going to lose control any second and hurt myself or my family. Suicidal thoughts are coming every minute and what's worse is they don't scare me. It's like death is inside my body, I'm not hungry, I'm tired, i don't want to brush my teeth. i just sit down and stare at things. I feel like I'm standing on a cliff right on the edge waiting just for a push of air to push me over. It's like pressure in my forehead with a band around it.

I've had depersonalization before but I didn't have suicdal thoughts with it. My anxiety is making me think that when i'm eating i'm gonna choke so it doesn't want me to.
Why me? why can't I be normal and happy. i pressed a knife against my finger today and I didn't feel anythng. What is wrong wth my mind. Am I heading for a nervous breakdown?

I want that to feel something but my mind is numb. Is there anyway I can wait this out and treat it at home
5 Responses
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6726276 tn?1421126668
Have you set up a dr appt yet?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I don't even know what started 1 night Iwas sitting down and my anxiety was freaking me out with thoughts making me thnk I was gong to hurt my family and after that those thoughts stopped but now my brain has run ramped.

I can put a knife to my finger and not feel anything, I don't even have the energy to do anything because the minute I move there is just too much head pressure and depression.

I have a panicky feeling in my stomach and head all the time and I feel like I'm going to go crazy and break. It's like a lead up to one big panic attack that won't ever stop. If  could just have it and get over it.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
May I ask What started these feelings?
Helpful - 0
1551327 tn?1514045867
There is a way to deal with this at home if that is what you must do.  I would also recommend checking into a hospital.  You have things going on that you cannot explain but I have been there.
You must stop the suicidal thoughts.  You must find a way to redirect such thoughts and not allow them to fester.
I recommend journaling your thoughts.  They are going too fast right now for you to be able to do anything with them.  Write them down and allow yourself to feel them for a while, then stop them.
I used to wear a rubber band on my wrist and I would pop it whenever I felt like I wanted to hurt myself.
Suicidal thoughts can be changed.  In reality no one really wants to end their life... they just want help.  Please let us know what is going on in your life.  We have been there and we can help.
Helpful - 0
6726276 tn?1421126668
Sounds like the safest thing to do at this time will be to check into a hospital with a good psych ward. If you are a danger to others and a danger to yourself you need treatment. You can be happy and well adjusted.
Helpful - 0
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