My mother has depression, OCD, and social anxiety disorder, and lately it is getting worse. I am 15, and I have Bipolar disorder and OCD, so I get depressed a lot, too, but nothing like this. At night, she will sit on the couch with her head in her hands, and will stare at nothing for hours, no matter how much we try and talk to her, and we eventually give up. This happens every night, no matter what. She is very stressed constantly; she has us 3 kids, and has to go to the bus stop six times a day. (We live on the top of a massive, isolated hill.) She drinks, and exercises a lot in her free time, but always complains that she is old (she's 45) and overweight. She cleans, but never finishes anything because she gets so stressed and overwhelmed about everything, even its only with a few dishes to clean. She also sleeps a lot and cries when she thinks no one is around, about her high school life (there was a VERY bad incident that would make most people kill themselves) and how she never finished culinary school, and now she only has a job at a crappy bagel shop, and is always complaining about how the other teenage employees never work, and so she is always talking to people there, which makes her social anxiety even worse. This is the only job she can get though. My younger brother and sister are complete ***** to her-my sister is always manipulating her to get what she wants, yelling at her, saying she hates her, which makes her even more depressed. She is very spaced-out, and has trouble paying attention to anything. She also put us in BIG debt because she loves to shop, and my dad yells at her for that, for the fact that we may lose our house. She never goes with my dad to see family, or to go to parties with friends, because she thinks everyone hates her (she's very paranoid) but this is not true at all. The only things that seem to make her happy are painting and holding her python around her neck. We are also in a bit of trouble with Dyphus (I am embarrassed to say) and shes been to the hospital, and thinks all our lives are ruined because of her, she is the cause of all my problems, and that she is just a big failure.
She's been on pretty much every medication, but nothing has worked so far. here are SOME that I know of:
these are just off the top of my head that i can think of right now. there's a lot more.
like, I'll ask her about a random new medication I'm trying, an she'll just say "no, that doesn't work."
We're all tired of seeing her like this, even the dogs. It's just killing me to see her like this.
Anything that can help???!!!
Please, if you know any medications or coping techniques that you know of, please tell me!!!
I rarely finished anything before either. I don't know if I can contribute that to the OCD or the ADD, but I am pretty sure it is the ADD. IT sounds like she has symptoms of it as well, and it wouldn't surprise me a lot. I also hate it when there are no people around. It is also due to my childhood. I do isolate a lot but I cannot be anywhere if no one is around. I have always lived with somebody for that reason. I have only lived by myself one time in my life and it was only for a couple of months.
I don't like recommending medicine for people but I will say this....
I am on Seroquel now and it has greatly improved the quality of my life. It helps out with the PTSD, the OCD, and the ADD.
Best bet would be to get her to a therapist. Meds aren't always the answer, nor are they always the fix. It sounds like she has a lot of internal issues from her past that she needs to deal with. Therapy might be the answer.
As far as meds go, though, each one affects each person differently, so it's a lot of hit and miss until you find something that works. If that's the route she still wants to go, might want to look into Pristiq for depression/ocd and an anti-anxiety med like Klonipin (clonazapam).
Also, considering she finds interest in particular things and is anti-social, might want to have her checked for Asperger's syndrome. This is something the therapist might be able to do.
actually, I forgot to mention that she does have ADD. can't even read a book.
but I've been on Seroquel, too, and it made me crave sugar and I gained a lot of weight. but everyone is different, ya kno? But thanks a lot still! I don't know too well how it worked for sure- maybe she needed a better combo or a higher dosage?
maybe. Both of us have been to various therapists, but it's barely helped her. But then again we live in an isolated town- we have to drive more than 2 hours to find any kind of therapeutic medical help! She always says "You have to help yourself." very thick headed. But she thinks meds are the answer, or at least a big part of it. But it's true, they only help.
Klonapin works for me very well, but I think that she's tried that too... Maybe Pristiq...? Well I'll tell her to try that combo, then.
Thanks for your help!
Feeling isolated and lonely inside is the worst feeling ever. The meds can only help so much. Other changes will help too. Changing her environment I think would be helpful. Is it possible to move. I had to do this for my own sanity because where I lived was so isolating. Going to therapy consistently and on a regular basis helps too. I don't know if she has made this commitment? Is there anything you can think of, yoga, painting classes any kind of class you could both take to get her out of the house and with people in a enjoyable setting that would get her involved, even if you have to drive a ways. This could help you both. Even taking walks together.
I've tried a ton of meds myself. It is very discouraging and it's normal to feel like nothing is going to work. The key is not to give up, but she needs to believe this. She may have been on many meds with many combo. But there are many more to try. The dosage amount, staying on the med or meds long enough to give them a try is key.
Tell her how important she is to you and you want her to be happy. But she has to try and not give in to her depression, to not give up. I know this is hard and you may having already done this.
You sound like an exceptional daughter and your mother is very lucky to have you. Just remember that you can only do so much, your mom has to be willing to help herself. You need to take care of you too. This is a big burden for you to have at your age. Please take good care of yourself. You are important and you have your own illness to deal with and life. Don't spread yourself to thin and forget about your own needs. Hopefully there will come a point where you are both helping each other out.
I will be thinking about you both and I wish you all the best. Hang in there, Crystal
Meds...Has she tried Saphris, Lithium, Latuda or Depakote. These are on the top of my head. Some meds that I have tried in the past actually made me feel worse, maybe this has happened to your mom. I looked up meds in different classes, read about them and would take the list to my dr. Then we would decide together what to try next. Antidepressants don't work for everyone so you try other things. I don't know if she has tried them all. There is Cymbalta too. I hope she is still seeing her psychiatrist on a regular basis. Sometimes when your in bad shape you need to see them more often until you at least get stable. Hope this helps, Crystal
I'm mentioning this to you so you can have a full picture. The other problem your mom is faced with is her drinking. Drinking makes depressed people more depressed. You are also not suppose to mix alcohol with these types of meds. It not only messes with your mind but it interferes with the effectiveness of the meds.
thank you :)
i do try to go snowshoeing with her lately, and she tries to take our dogs for walks around the neighborhood. we used to go to Lake George and stuff, but we haven't had the money for a long time; we also are in the process of building a home up in the country, and she seems to like painting the walls a lot, and gardening. we do go to a med doctor together every 2 weeks (or something, idk)
She knows alcohol does NOT mix with meds, so she's not drinking lately (mostly because she thinks it's what makes her "really fat") and then she has to deal with my extremely annoying siblings saying bad things about her. she just has her days y'know? lately shes ok, were baking cookies together to sell at her work.
and thank you for the med suggestions, i'm really appreciative of that! :)
Your very welcome:) I,m glad you are doing some things together and that your mom is getting out of the house. I's so nice to have a dog. Snowshoeing sounds adventuresome, great exercise. Hopefully your mom will be happier in the new house along with all of the other aspects of her life.
Try not to eat too many cookies before you sell them lol.
You take good care of yourself and remember we are always here for you:)
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