ok so today right at this moment is the first time i ever really thought about my killing myself just like ending it now right now. so i just need someone to talk to the will understand how i feel. and i think my day had something to do with it like today was my granddads birthday party and i got dressed up and for the first time ever i thought i was pretty but when ever someone would call me lame or something like i would wanna cry and felt real bad afterwards but right now me and my brothers are smoking and they start calling me names and then ones gf starts to i felt it right there i wanted to die i didnt care anymore about anything i just wanted peace. and im scared cuz have no one to talk to they wont understand i try but they dnt get it and is making it worse. so im just gonna say how i feel and someone would try to help me ok the way i feel everyday all the time is sad i hate myself i dont see a reason why im here this world whats the point of me why am i here i feel like i ruined things that im a bad person and i dont deserve anything but i love everyone and i dont get it why cant i like myself a little bit and this has been going on for years now and i try to make it better but nothing works. and im worried now cuz i wanna kill myself but i dont wanna think tht way im scared and im worrined if i would do something tht i dont want to do. and if im posting this i hope like people dont send police to my house or anything becuz i dont want people to see my like this so i plz hope tht wont happen ty
Hi sweetheart, Don't even consider ending it all. It's no wonder that you don't feel good about yourself and are depressed because it sounds like you have nothing but bullies surrounding you with terrible comments to you which are totally unwarranted. You could probably see a counselor at your school. I would strongly recommend that. You need to see reality more clearly which is difficult with the people around you calling you names and criticizing you. Believe me, their comments to you have nothing to do with you. It's just their inherent cruelty. It isn't true at all. If you really think about ending it all, promise me that you will go to the Emergency Room, the ER. If your family won't take you, then YOU call 911 to get you there. That's very important. That might finally get their attention. You don't need to worry about anyone seeing you like you are. You are precious. I can tell from your posting. And there is a lot of love out there waiting for you when you can get things changed in your home or get out of there. The counselor should be able to help you with solutions. Write back to me about how you are doing. You take care dear one. With love, Sara
You can't just wait to feel better, you have to do something. If you are not actively suicidal - you are not going to do it - then immediately make an appointment with a psychiatrist and psychologist. They are usually book out so ask to be put on the cancellation list to get in earlier. If it changes, you have a plan and want to do it, then don't wait for an appointment, go to the ER immediately.
Yes, Anneinside makes a very good point. Make that appointment right away. And also look into getting an appointment with a counselor at your school. You definitely need help now. Your life can totally change for you.
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