Having a hard time with 3 year old after giving birth to second child. Depression? Frustration?

I have an eleven month old baby and a 3 year old daughter.  I've been a stay at home mom since.  After the birth of my son, I just feel like I lost all patience with my daughter.  I feel really bad with the way I treat her sometimes.  I don't want to do anything with her.  I know that she is only 3 and doesn't understand that a lot of what she does is frustrating to an adult.  Her grandfather took care of her for pretty much the first two years of her life.  He spoiled her and let her get away with a lot of things, that doesn't help.  I keep telling myself that I will try harder, I will have more patience, but the next day comes and it starts all over again.  I know I am suffering from anxiety and depression but why do I take it out on my daughter more than anything or anybody else?  Why do I feel a lack of closeness or bond with her?  I don't feel this way with my son.  I can't get enough of him.  Doesn't anyone have any thoughts?  

[venora]

Unforunatly alot of women feel this way with their daughters and not their sons
Get a therapist and try to work some of the issues out about why you feel that way about your daughter.if you start working with her now there is time to save your relationship with here.but you must start now.
Good luck  to and blessed be your daughter.
love Venora

[Raine9]

The Virginia Tech massacre really help me put things into perspective.  I will never take my daughter for granted again.  I am happy that she is healthy and alive and mine!

[Idab]

Funny enough, it was the other away around for me.  When my daughter was born, I thought I would crack with the pressures of having the baby blues and handling my son, who also happened to be 3 years old.  My daughter is now 7 and my son is now 10 and I couldn't tell you which one I love more.  They are both very precious and special in their own ways and yes I think it is just the hormones that get the better of us.  Give yourself a little time.  Your daughter is probably feeling a bit jealous towards the 'new addition'.  I know my son would seem impossible at the time, but all he wanted was to know that, even though I was so exhausted, frustrated, depressed, that he was as special to me as his little baby sister.  Take care.