Help me pleaseee!!

I have been diagnosed with Major Depression and Bipolar Disorder II, in my opinion is not to much depression as Anxiety.I can not use antidepresants as they make me very anxious. So, they prescribed anti-anxiety pills also wich make me fill like a zombie, lossing memory and lack of attention, so I lost my job and friends. Then, then decided to prescribe mood stabilizers then my TSH test got affected and they prescribed me thyroids pills. They put me with Quetiepine and I got  a seizure and paralized muscles (and tongue).  Anyway, I stoped funtioning and overmedicated, no energy, pannic, social fobia, and so on... I decided to stop (gradually) everything by myself and after a couple of months I am feeling MUCH better now...even, I came back to work, But, its difficult to deal with my changes of mood and thoughs , can not manage  any emotion (neither bad nor good ones) they are so frecuents. My husband is not able to deal with it, he gets stucked on fights with me and I am really hurt. What to do?? Either or, with or without medications my life is so miserable!!! Sometimes I think about killing myself would stop my pain and the troubles to the rest of the people around me, Note: I have tried aditional treatments as nature pills, counselling, workshops, relaxations CDs, auto hypnosis therapy, positive afirmations, tons of books, religions, prayers, and so on with no results... Someone help me , pleaseeee!!

[M4Y0U]

Hello there,

Since you tired many things there is one thing you didn't try that i would recommend and i invite you to the Alternative Therapies community and read my post that might help you also other informative posts there.

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Alternative-Therapies-Community/The-Importance-of-Healthy-Lifestyle-and-Diet-in-Curing-or-Preventing-Mood-Disorders-and-Physical-Illnesses/show/1130379

Best regards,
M4

[terps4life90]

Well i have been like this for 2 months now and i have no clue what the hell is wrong with me or my body. What is going on with me is that i feel that i not "in my body." I know what i am doing but it doesn't psychically feel like its me doing it. Such as walking. i know that i am walking but it doesn't like its "me" walking. That goes for anything that i do. I am not insane or anything. I just want to know why i am like this? I also feel like no thoughts process through my mind and my mind either feels like cloudy or blank. It doesn't feel like it's me when i do anything. I can't have a conversation with someone because as soon as they tell or ask me something i forget everything they just said and i just look at them and say oh, or nothing. I feel like i am dumb now. I don't eat very much. Not very active but i used to be very outgoing, socialized everyday. When i am sitting still sometimes i feel as if i am moving, but i know i am not. My vision is very weird. I really don't know how to describe it. I hallucinate for no reason, like i see little shapes when i look around and it is either i looked a something bright or it just comes from out of nowhere. I feel that when i am moving everything seems to be moving slowly such as when i take walks, everything seems far away and when i am walking passed something it seems to pass more slower. When ever i read or look at something i know what i am looking at but i feel that i can't comprehend whats there sense i am having a hard time thinking in general. i could read it 10 times and still have no clue what i read. I also feel like my emotions kind of left. i feel weird when i crack a smile. Maybe i am depressed really bad. I don't know. I just want my old life back. I have tired to fix these problems by getting back out in the world but it only seems to worsen. So if there is a medical doctor here could you please respond to this and possibly tell me what is wrong?!?!?!
Thank you!

[mammo]

I hope you didn't stop your thyroid medication, you need to stay on this. Thyroid problems can cause depression and anxiety among many other problems in the body.  Our endocrine system affects every organ in the body, and if it's out of whack, everything is.  So, do stay on the thyroid medication.  I cannot imagine your frustration with all this, but do feel that the right medication can help you.  Maybe see a different psychiatrist for a second opinion.  From what I've read it can take a long time and many medication changes to find out exactly what will work best for you individually. I can understand why you feel the way you do, with all you've tried to no avail.  But keep trying, I'm sure someone who has experienced this same thing will jump on here with some suggestions as to what you may do.  Take care....