How To Know its the END?

I'm a 41 yr old white male.  Unhappily married with two find teeneage kids.  I a not well off money wise.  Not poor, but barely making it.  My skills seem to be deminishing with time.  I see no future but of pain and heartache.  I want to leave my wife but cannot.  I dont want to leave my kids but day by day see them as less part of my lfe, realizing how little impact I really have on them.   I've not felt well, physically or mentally for a long time.  some days are better than others.

My goal this week is to kill myself if I can get it totgher enouh to.         I had asked wiffe for helpe and she runs away in denial  in here ******* llllaaaaa llllllllllaaaaa llllllllaaaaaaa world she lives in.

[Venora Moonwind]

Go to the hospital now Or call the 1-800 suicide hot line.NOW!! Homey you dont have to suffer this way and suicide is not the answer. your wife and children will be devasted and the guilt thorugh no fault of their own would be crushing.Pleasee come talk to me.We can get thorugh this together.Deprssion is soooo managable with therapy and the right meds .You dont have to feel this way.I know because I have been where you are thinking my family would be better off without me bu that is so untrue.They love you and want to help any way they can.I hope to see a post from you.
Lets talk .I will listen.I am praying for you my friend.
Love Venora
patnpaul20at msndotcom Email if you would feel more comfortable talking that way
VM

[HockeyShark]

Please get help.

You have no idea the hell it will put others through, especially the kids.

All I can do is ask, so PLEASE seek help and give it a chance.