How do I tell my GP that I think I have depression?

[hpkatsn]

I'm making a doctor's appointment within the next few days to tell my doctor that I think I might be depressed. The following paragraph is something I've wrote over the past few months and is what I'm going to tell my doctor -

I don't really know what's wrong with me, I want you tell me. All I know is that it's something in my head.
It started on the 15th June 2012, when my cousin died. The first six months or so I thought were normal, I was grieving. But after that, it didn't seem normal, it felt like it had moved up a level. It seemed something else. I was self-harming, having suicidal thoughts. I hated myself and everything around me. I didn't want to live and I thought I was worthless and there  was no point in me being here. I stopped self harming February 2013 and I haven't since, but there's been so many times I've wanted to relapse.
And now, I just can't seem to control how I feel. I just keep crying all the time and I feel so sad and paranoid. When I lay in bed I feel really small, like im engulfed. I've felt sad for too long, I've felt exactly the same since my cousin died. It's not grief anymore.

I want to self harm again as I want to be able to have control over my pain, but I dont want to relapse. I cant start again.
I feel like I have a lump in my throat and a hole in my heart. I constantly need distractions to stop myself thinking otherwise I just sit there and think and cry. I feel people never understand me. That no one else has gone through or is going through this even though I know they are. I don't want to go to the doctors because I don't want to be diagnosed as mentally ill.
But I know I need to. Im scared of what's going on in my head, I'm scared over the lack of control.

I cant seem to get rid of this lump in my throat. I seem to be living constantly in fear that something bad is going to happen. I get paranoid if my nan or grandad ring my mum or if my boyfriend goes out somewhere. I'm terrified that he's going to find someone better than me, someone who isn't scared of what's going on in their head, someone who isn't an ex-suicidal self-harmer. Someone who won't cry for seemingly no reason.
I don't want to be that person. I don't want to be the person who has something mentally wrong with them.

I feel like I have something in my throat thats suffocating me, like a grip thats getting tighter and tighter.

My mood just changes so much. It's just like one minute ill be numb and I won't feel anything and the next ill be crying my eyes out.

I never want to get up in the morning because I dont want to face another day of feeling the way I do.



From the above paragraph, can anyone sort of diagnose me or give me an idea of what could be wrong with me?

[4Maddie44]

Hello, I see you are a young lady who lives in the UK.  I also live in the UK.

You would have to see a doctor to be referred to a psychologist over here.  I saw quite a few psychiatrists and psychologists and counsellors, but all through the NHS.  

First step is to see a doctor.  Have you discussed how you are feeling with your parents?  I know you don't want to go to a doctor.  But please mental health problems are no different from physical problems.  Seems you think there is a stigma attached to poor mental health.

All the people on this site are mentally ill.  That is why we are here.  To support each other.  Now I cannot diagnose you, I am not a doctor.  But please don't leave things like they are.

From what you have written, it does sound like you could have depression, but it could also be being a teenager with all the pressures on you.

There is a test you can do online which asks you questions.  Answer them truthfully and it will tell you whether you might have depression.

I don't know how you are going to manage without some type of professional help.  OK, don't see a doctor, as this worries you.  Does your school have a counsellor, or can they refer you to one?  Lots of schools have this kind of help now.  Believe you me I bet a lot of fellow pupils feel like you.  There is a lot of pressure now days on young students like you.

[Paxiled]

My advice is to skip the doctor and find a psychologist.  General docs will throw drugs at everything, but this isn't their specialty.  This is what psychologists are trained in.