How do I tell my mom I am depressed?

[alittlebitofrandom]

I don’t know how to tell my mom I am depressed and back on meds.  Almost two years ago I told her I was on antidepressants and she told me to stop taking them because I did not need them. I don’t think she would make me stop taking them again, but I don’t want her to be upset about this situation. I also don’t know if I should tell her everything (hurting myself, thoughts of suicide). Maybe just the depression thing will be enough. I know she is going to pull the, you have been under a lot of stress this past quarter in school, which I can’t deny, but there is more than that. Any advice? I really think I should tell her. I was thinking tomorrow night over dinner, my sister won’t be around because I really want to tell my mom first.

[birdie0907]

I still think you should always think it out carefully before telling anyone, especially if they are non supportive. My brother has had something wrong for decades but Mom is in denial when others mention it. He has never had treatment, so who knows what kind of life he is capable of living if not "protected" from treatment?
Possibly her denial is caused by pride of offspring ownership. She means the best but keeps pouring money into his business, which he is in no shape to run and the predictable result is perennial losses and possibly more depression from trying to do what he is incapable of. He is financially dependent on her, so I wish she would force him into a medical evaluation. You can see how manipulative people can be, or perhaps should be, when faced with another's depression.
So because depression can be so consuming, it is important to prioritize how much time you can afford dealing with someone who may not understand the ramifications of their controlling approach to your problem.
I don't know you, and am unfit to advise even if I did, so my story is only intended for background, in case you feel anything of use applies to your situation.

[alittlebitofrandom]

The thing you were talking about chances of getting depression again I think is right.  I'm sure I read that somewhere.  Looks like my chances are like 500%.  I am seeing a counselor.  I started seeing her 3 years ago when my depression hit rock bottom and I've been seeing her since.  I especially made sure because my depression came back again this year and it was pretty bad.

I want to tell my mom because she should know.  I am not using any of her money and I have my own insurance, so that is not an issue.  I just feel like I should tell her so she knows why I may lash out or whatever.  She can tell I have changed a little; I tend to just not care and she takes it as me ignoring her and just other things that seem different from how I used to act.

Because I am only home every couple of months, I wanted to tell her now and not at christmas.  I haven't been home for three months and it has been bad already for two months.  

[birdie0907]

I read that you have about a 50% chance of another depression after your first, then 90% if you have a second. (I will have to read up on this info though, because I have been posting it so often I want to make sure my memory an %s are correct.) A major point of that article is you should not let depression build any longer than it has to, because you might be able to turn a big one into a minor one, and perhaps cut back on the relapse probability.
So it is not a good idea for anyone to pressure you not to be on meds if you really do need them. The difficulty is trying to figure if an alternative treatment such as counselling or change of outlook in life will clear the problem in time.

It seems you need someone to talk to but I am wondering if your mother is the right one (as opposed to a counsellor), and if so, is the timing right? Is it that important for you to get the news out right now, or can you sit on it for a while to make sure things unfold in the best way? Or is the issue the cost and you are using her drug plan?

[alittlebitofrandom]

Well I'm sure she will accept it.  She is a nurse and all so she does understand it.  I guess I am more worried about tell her about my cutting and suicidal thoughts.  She knows i have been to counseling before but not this year.  I am just not one to talk to my mom about my emotions.  I rarely cry in front of her even.

[ettebette]

Excellent advice by ILADVOCATE!

Peace and many blessings,

Ellen

[ILADVOCATE]

First of all you are an adult and you have the right to make your decisions and in this case you made right one, to go on medication. You have every right to expect that your mother be supportive. Perhaps she has some issues of her own. Why would she "make you stop taking medication" especially if it stopped you from having suicidal ideations. I have posted about long term side effects of medications but standard SSRI anti-depressents as a whole are safe for long term use. What is she concerned about? If she doesn't accept your psychiatric disability, not taking medication won't make it go away. It will make it worse. Actually I would suggest the opposite. Tell your sister first, depending on age. And then tell your mother together so she can't try to insist you go off medication or pressure you in any way. And find a family support group. You can look up your local NAMI family support group. When she meets other families who have children and parents that have a psychiatric disability she won't feel so alone. And perhaps she has some issues to come to terms with herself. In my case, some family members who were a bit difficult before I recovered from schizoaffective turned out to have bipolar. You have accepted your disability, gone back on treatment and are well along the way on the recovery process. There's no reason anyone should be other than supportive but if someone isn't a sympathetic person then yes don't tell them the details of what happenned before if they can't even accept who you are now.