How do you get past fear.

I really just want to know if there is any hope. I have been depressed for as long as I remember and have had anxiety for the past year and a half. I dropped out of school quit my job and now just free load at my parents house. I don't know how to live. It's gotten so bad I got anxious the other day debating on taking the dogs for a walk. I am constantly fearing for my health but am far to afraid of going to the doctors to get anything checked out. I was in therapy but stopped because it was financially taxing. I have no prospects and I don't know how to live. Everything I open myself up to I find a fear. School = big groups of people = virus's = death. Job = physical activity = stress on the heart = heart attack = death. This is how my mind works. Majority of the time it doesn't even get that far. Just over all fear of the impending doom of nuclear attack so why bother living. If I don't have anything what can I loose. I am afraid of dying, but even more so of living. Afraid of the act of dying, afraid of the aftermath. What happens next. Is there a heaven and hell. Is there nothing? I am coming to the point where I am afraid of everything. I can't remember what its like to be happy.

[mammo]

I feel so bad for you, you've become paralyzed with fear.  It sounds like the therapy was no help, but were you or are you on medication?  I would look for a psychiatrist and start there.  Your therapist was doing no more than taking your money, sometimes these things are best controlled with medications combined with therapy, with a good therpist.
I know I've not been much help, and I'm sure someone more knowledgeable will jump on with some help.  Stay strong and take care.....

[LNCorner]

Thanks for the insight. Therapist was actually alright, got me back into school but that semester ended and I was no longer going to her and found myself back at square one. I'm to afraid of meds and also in all honesty even before I had all these problems I've always thought that it would be better to do something without meds.

[joanna28]

Hi,yea i am the same,fear,fear and more fear,im paralyzed by it myself,im scared to leave  the house,scared taking my meds,scared off living,scared off dying ans so on,im 28 have had depression,ocd,anxiety,socialanxiety,panic attacks,and so on from my teens,i only started my meds again,put they worry me,i hate depending on my loved ones,i want to depend on myself,and stop being scared but my racing thoughts in my head tell me something else,they run my life,i cant rem the last time i was happy,i would love to come out off the darkness and be happy again,i live in fear,i even get anxiety when im eating,that i will choke and die,it isnt nice feeling for us,but we maybe have to take our meds everyday take it day by day change r thinking get support i aint got there myself,ihope we all do one day,the biggest fear is living,takecare x

[mammo]

Then you must return to therapy, as this is your only hope at this point. People don't just jump into medications, it is well thought out, and sometimes combined with therapy. For most, it is the only way they are able to live a happy, normal, and productive life.  I would choose medication any day over paralyzing fear, I know because I had it for years.  Sometimes we have to realize that this is like any other disease, if you had diabetes, you would take the necessary medication and not think twice about it. I wish you luck.

[LNCorner]

Yeah I know what you mean about the food. I just made some meatloaf (turned out more like meat mush) but now that I've eaten it I'm starting to get all anxious thinking what if it wasn't cooked all the way. What if I put something in it that made it a lethal combination. What if it was just a bad cow. Has it gotten any better for you since you were a teen? Just trying to figure out whats in store for me. Right now my parents aren't really overly pushing me to do anything but I know it will happen eventually. Also I want to be able to help my family out. It seems like there is so win win situation for anxiety.