Have they tried so many anti-depressant medicinies on you, and said you are treatment resistant? Is there nothing that can be done? I have had depression for 20years, and have tried many anti-depressants. Matter of finding the right one.
I have been so very low. Last year when I joined this site, I was in a very dark place. Being here has helped such a lot.
ECT is usually offered to really bad depressives. I have seen good results with this when I have been in a psychiatric hospital. Has this been offered to you? It works.
Surely the medical profession have not given up on you. What does your doctor say?
I got myself a dog, which made me go out, as I would shut myself away. I believe pets can help.
So sorry you are so ill. Keep us posted, and write how you feel. It helps to let it all out.
Take care, and I am thinking of you.
I feel the same way sometimes, I help others, & volunteer that's what I do, it seems to help.