How do you?

Umm.. well... I've been feeling depressed for quite a while now.... and I've been cutting myself for about a year/year and a half. Last week when I was in class.. I really had the need to cut cause all my emotions and frustrations were building up and I couldn't take it, so I got a pen and 'stabbed' (for lack of a better word) the pen into my hand six times.

I really don't want to feel like this anymore and I really wanna tell my parents... but I had this conversation once with my mom about depression etc. cause I was inching towards telling her but then she said she'd be furious with me if I ever self harmed. Then she got real angry. And another time I tried to tell her that I was really unhappy and she brushed it off. I'd go to my dad but I would feel way too awlkward.

And whenever I try telling one of my friend... I almost have a panic attack I'm so nervous and I back out.....

I probably sound like a whiney annoying idiot, but does anyone have any ideas what should I do??

[mammo]

I'm sorry you feel you have no one to turn to.  I can tell you that your mom got mad, thinking that you're not doing anything to harm yourself and is trying to stop you from ever doing it.  Also, as parents it's sometimes difficult to believe that  our child is having problems and if we ignore it, all will be fine.  But I do know your parents love you dearly, and when comes to your well-being they will do anything to help you.  Maybe it would be best to put all this in a letter to both parents, so that they can see that you are in pain and need help.  Tell them you desperately want help and ask them to please help you.  Parents say a lot to keep you from doing things that they feel is wrong, but your well -being is what is truly most important to them.  I think they will then take you seriously.  If not, talk to your school counselor, this is why they are there.  Just please give your parents another chance, so you can have a happy normal life.  Don't beat yourself up, or call yourself names over this, it's just like any other illness, and needs to be treated. We're glad you're here, and will help in any way we can.  Take care....

[BettyBuys]

Hello to you dear,

You list yourself as 22 years of age.

What class are you in at your age? Must be university?

If your age is correct then you don't need to tell your parents a thing. Just go to see a doctor as you would for any illness.

How your parents feel really does not matter at your age when it comes to dealing with depression. It can be a fatal illness if ignored and that's what you are doing. Ignoring it.

Forget everybody but yourself and get the help that is readily available right now if you just go and get it.

[bipolar2009]

my parents were supportive.
maybe you shouldnt borther
they might came to their senses later

[134moles]

No... My age thing is messed up... I just got it right now...

I'm 17 and I'm in 4th year in secondary school..

[jwcj]

Mammo made a good sugestion. Write to your parents so that they may have time to take it all in.
Make sure that you put in your letter that you would like them to discuss this with you at a time when you can all sit down together, and talk about this without so much emotion and drama. It's important for you to let them know that you are aware that what you are doing is wrong, and that you would like to talk about as adults.
Als don't forget to talk with a professional starting with your school counselor, and then possibly with someone in the rest of the professional field.
Good luck with how you are going to go about this, because I can see from the way you are showing genuine concern about this that you will work to find the right answers for yourself.