Well, I'm really glad you saw doctors and were thoroughly checked out and you do NOT Have a heart condition. That's appropriate to do so you are safe. Now that you know you don't, I get having trouble getting back into the work out routine. I, at one time (another life ago, ha ha) was very INTO working out, weights, running, etc. Then I changed jobs and traveled a good deal, got married, etc. All of a sudden, going to the gym was so hard for me! Another woman that was a body builder that I was friendly with, said -- oh, don't worry. You are just out of the habit. Start slow and rebuild the habit. So that is what I did.
what she gave me the freedom to do was to not expect to be where I was before or spend as much time working out as before. I was starting over. So, I got myself TO the gym, the first step. And did a little. And built from there. A whole different life now with kids and house and husband, etc. I found my lifestyle of being a health nut/gym nut were not very realistic. I had to develop even another NEW habit to keep myself active. I don't look like I work out like crazy anymore, but I try to stay fit.
So, I definitely have been there. Start slow. Get a date that you are going set on calendar, GO and understand that it is a little like starting over. Once you start doing it though, you'll build it back quickly. Muscle memory is real. You'll have to force yourself to go slow so you don't hurt yourself! It also helps me to have a partner in crime. I ask a friend to meet me. So you could do that or set a time up with a trainer. Then you are committed and you'll do it. :) Let me know how it goes!!! I'd love to see you in the gym by the end of this weekend!!
No, your way of thinking caused the anxiety to come back. Specialmom has told you what you most likely did wrong, which was to start back in working out too hard. But if you want to beat this anxiety devil, and there's nobody like someone who never has been able to do it like me, it's not not blame outside things for the way you think. Meaning, if that psychologist isn't helping, find a different one. And I'm also looking for you to find a workout you can do to start off that doesn't overstress you and lets you get back into it safely -- and I know how to do it not safely, because I've used exercise to deal with my troubles for so long I've damaged nearly everything, so learn to do it correctly -- it'll save you grief later. This might mean getting a personal trainer, and it might mean not getting a personal trainer as most of them are not actually much more knowledgeable about exercise than your Aunt Hilda is, if you get my drift. The ones who know better how to move safely are physical therapists, not personal trainers. But there are exceptions. But you know, you gotta move, and you gotta have some fun, and you gotta keep going with that school and work -- turning to full avoidance will make it a lot worse. Peace.