Depression Community
I am so sick of being depressed!
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I am so sick of being depressed!

I am actually crying while typing this. I want to be my normal happy self again. I don't have a doctors app until over a week from now. I have had insomnia for over 5 weeks. I went to the urgent care and they gave me generic Ambien but it makes me feel out of it the next day and even more depressed. I am trying to do my best and be a good mother and wife but it is hard. Why does it take so long for someone to get help when they have depression? I am currently not on any anti depressants right now. I have been off an on for 20 years of my life. I am just really frustrated right now and tired of feeling like crap. Just seems like I am in a vicious cycle. I was taking Wellbutrin last year. My doctor switched me without tappering and I ended up with severe withdrawals for a month and a half. That is why I was afraid to start meds again. I guess I have no choice but have to.
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Hi I have struuggled with depression since I was sixteen . Now I am twenty six and its a battle still sometimes. Reading your post makes me want to cry because I have been in your shoes. It is crazy that you have to wait a whole week before see someone. Maybe if you call them and tell them how bad it is they can get you in sooner . But after I had my daughter at twenty my depression hit the worst ever he said it was the worst case he had ever seen and I had anxiety on top of it. I have been taking zoloft since it has been a life saver. If you need anyone to talk to let me know I have hit rock bottom on depression and I know that people that have never dealt with have no idea how bad it is. I wish you the best of luck it will get better
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All I can say is sister you are singing to the choir. I think I know exactly how you are feeling, although each of us is different. You gotta just keep on slogging through this. I have for 29 years. It isn't fair and it isn't pretty but keeping your head down and pushing through is fighting the good fight. We don't get a choice. Keep in touch here, I think it really helps.
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Until the SSRI and SSNRI drugs appeared I'd spent the best part of 30 years suffering from depression.  It was particularly bad when the kids were small and there were so many demands upon me.  For me the appearance of Zoloft and later Effexor were a life saver and really turned my life around.  Now in my 50s and semi-retired I'm trying to come off Effexor which isn't easy and I know I may regret it but life is pretty good now and I want to give it a shot.  Some of us, however, just have to face the fact that we have brain chemistry that is not healthy and for us ADs may be a life time necessity.  I have felt great on Effexor for 15 years and it's only the ongoing cost that's made me decide to give life a shot without it.  But in your position I would be accepting that you need these drugs to get through at this point.  Life is tough enough when you're not prone to depression so give yourself a break.  Stay on them until the pressures ease and don't beat yourself up about it.  Try and do at least one thing a day that gives you pleasure and is just for you.  Even if it's just a walk on your own or a bath with scented candles burning.  Go to the library and get  a stack of magazines and lose yourself in reading when the kids are in bed, buy yourself a bunch of fresh flowers, have a massage if you can afford it - indulge yourself and remember you're entitled!   And if there's an AD that suits you, use it and don't be tempted to have a break. Not until the kids are off your hands anyway.  Good luck!
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If you are considering getting back on medication I would give a try to tricyclics or a tetracyclic as you mentioned insomnia being a factor in your depression.

Tricyclics and tetracyclics are very sedative and usually taken before bedtime which could resolve the insomnia issue while dealing with depression but we can't really say for sure if one antidepressant is gonna do the trick for you as everyone is different and dosage should be carefully monitored to get you the most out of the medication/s without getting so many adverse effects.

Maybe you can try alternatives such as 5-HTP supplements and/or and St John's Wort fist and see. Personally I suggest taking 5-HTP at night before your melatonin starts to synthesize because melatonin is synthesized from serotonin, serotonin is synthesized from 5-HTP and 5-HTP is synthesized from a normally available amino acid called tryptophan. Serotonin is acting on a diurnal cycle therefore is it why I suggest taking it before bedtime. Melatonin supplements are also available and used to treat insomnia and things such as jet lag as melatonin is regulating your circadian rhythm. Melatonin production is reduced as we age so I suspect a decrease in overall 5-HTP so both can be useful when supplemented correctly. You can find both at your local heath food store and please don't mix medications even if it is prescribed medication with OTC meds such as supplements and/or natural remedies.

M4
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