I feel like I shouldnt be depressed..

I have depression..no doubt. But things have gotten better...
I could write a book about what happened but I will say it as short as I can.  My parents had a baby when they were 16 and they gave him up for adoption.  My parents stayed together, and had me 10 years later, and after me, 4 years later they had my little brother.  I just found out about my older brother about 2 years ago.  November my boyfriend/bestfriend broke up with me after about 2 years.  I was beyond depressed.  So to keep my mind on something a lot happier, I decided to find my older brother.  After extensive research, I found him in january.  he was 27 (just recently turned 28)...handsome, had a girlfriend of 7 years, and extremely happy with his life, and extremely happy i came in contact with him.

Ever since january I have met and hung out with him several times, and we text almost everyday.  I know this sounds rediculous but whenever we dont talk much one day, or he doesnt answer me...i get sooooo depressed.  Its like I click, and I cant stop crying, thinking he hates me, and feeling extremely abandoned.  I feel like..well i know I shouldnt get this upset...I just dont know why.  Why do I get unbelieveably sad and even suicidal (well thinking that no one would care if I died..and that living isnt worth it cause no one cares).  I also get sad cause he grew up with 2 younger sisters and a younger brother.  I think his siblings get jealous or maybe mad at me...cause they are constantly posting things on the internet (facebook) like "I love my one and only older brother" and constantly add pics of them and him.  This seems to happen a lot if I publicly talk to him (like post something to him on facebook).  

Im just so redicuosly sad...(today he hasnt talked to me)...I feel abandoned and I feel like he hates me...like..he means soooo much to me, and i dont think i mean much to him.  I didnt really know where to post this question...I just have no one to talk about this really.

[j17c27]

anyone? Or should I post on a different forum?

[spykypnoyboy]

you say you have depression, so are you taking any medication? some medicine can be the cause of frequent crying or sadness, it is a side-effect. I used to be like how your feeling because i used to take zoloft, after i stopped taking it, i don't feel that way anymore