I hate my life

[anna285]

Okay, so I've been horribly dizzy for about a year now, I feel like I am going to fall on my face.  My doctor did bloodwork, which she said looked fine.  I scheduled an appointment to meet with her about it anyway, and in the appointment she was like "oh, well you are anemic."  I took (and am still taking) iron pills, but I was still dizzy, so she referred me to a neurologist, who figured I needed to get my B12 levels checked (which I knew, but my GP didn't seem to think it was important because she didn't test for it).  My B12 is low and I have been taking supplements for 4 months now, still dizzy.  My GP had referred me to a psychiatrist when I first reported the dizziness, who says I have anxiety.  Now my GP thinks I have chemical depression.  I'm not sure if all of this is situational or not.  I was valedictorian of my high school class and I work as a temp (because I'm unqualified to be hired on full time anywhere due to my BA degree being from Berkeley and not the local junior college that everyone in this town went to- it truly is about who you know).  My co-workers are okay, although I do have to answer questions like "is twenty-one hundred the same as two thousand and one hundred?"  I want to apply to graduate school but have no idea what I want to do with my life, I just bought a house, and I am in control of my budget as well as my parent's budget because I am helping them to pay down debt.  I hate to be treated like a hypochondriac.  I usually downplay how I feel when I am sick or have a shooting pain somewhere; there have been plenty of things that I have ignored because I didn't want to go to the doctor.  I had anorexia and dealt with it myself (although during a routine yearly exam my GP did suggest that I eat ice cream once in a while when I weighed in at 104 lbs instead of 180lbs from the year before).  But this dizziness I just can't ignore.  I am afraid of driving because I feel like I am going to pass out all the time, not because I am a nutcase having panic attacks.

[mammo]

Have you been checked for an inner ear problem, or Menieres (Sp) Disease?

[Hensley258]

It's comforting to hear from another depression and anxiety sufferer that also suffers this strange vertigo and dizziness.

I get the same exact symptoms and the worse my depression and anxiety are the worse the dizziness is.

It's a strange kind of dizziness, not like the kind you get from spinning in circles. It sort of starts with my body and head feeling really heavy and then I get a sensation that the inside of my brain is swurling around.

I swear it gets so bad at times that I feel as if I could fall down, yet I never do.
It often happens as I am walking and all the sudden it feels like the floor is tilted, yet the floor is perfectly streight and with my eyes I can see it is streight but it still feels slanted.

My eyes will also get this weird kind of skewed feeling. Like I can see fine, but my vision takes on a weird feeling that I can't describe.

[whodunnit]

Hi,

So you've got a pdoc to diagnose anxiety and a GP to diagnose depression.

You say you can't ignore the dizziness, so what are you going to do about it?

Your comment about nutcases having panic attacks is extremely offensive, particularly in this forum, where many of us do have such attacks. It has nothing at all to do with being a "nutcase". It's an illness and for you to make this statement while seemingly suffering from a similar disorder is indeed ironic.

I think it's time for you to look at yourself and put your health ahead of being able to drive and accept treatment for what's been diagnosed.

Or are you, too, thinking the docs are incompetent? It would be really nice if you apologised for your comment to the many here who you have demeaned with such a selfish statement. What were you thinking?

[anna285]

You are correct that that was a insensitive comment, and I realized it right after I posted it.  Sorry!  I kind of just had to let it all out, and I didn't mean to offend anyone by using the term.  I'm just saying that is what my GP makes me feel like.  I've tried celexa, xanax, and paxil.  None of them seem to be helping.  I have been seeing a psychologist every other week for 6 months, which does help because I can discuss the issues mentioned above.  It is just frustrating because I am trying to take care of myself according to the doctors' opinions, and it just isn't addressing the dizziness.  Another thing I left out was that I had OCD for a few years in elementary school--I know what anxiety feels like.  I have no problem saying that I had OCD or that it could come back someday.  The thing is that I feel like having this in my medical history, as well as my family history (pschitzophrenia (sp?), agoraphobia, panic disorder, bipolar disorder, clinical depression) leads the doctors to jump to conclusions when diagnosing me.  As far as thinking doctors are incompetent, I have to admit I am biased.  I have seen my mother struggle with systemic lupus and scleroderma; she is also agoraphobic and I feel that having this in her medical record delayed the eventual diagnosis and treatment of these illnesses.  She also went through some surgeries that had a profound impact on me: one was when they were removing her ovaries- the paperwork clearly said that they removed both ovaries.  Well, two months later she was having pain and they thought she had a cyst.  When they did the second surgery they found that it wasn't a cyst, it was one of the ovaries.  A couple months later she had pain again- when they did the x-ray they found a syring cover had been left in her from the previous surgery.  I am not saying that all physicians are incompetent, I am just saying that in my experience they certainly can't be expected to be perfect.

[anna285]

No, I haven't been checked for either of those (at least not by a specialist or anything).  When the dizziness first started I told my GP that I thought I had an ear infection because it is 24/7, but she said my ears look fine...

[anna285]

Yes, exactly!  Things just "look wierd," right?  Although, my dizziness lasts from the time I wake up until the time I go to bed.  Do you always feel dizzy and it just gets worse with stress/anxiety, or does it come and go?

I also get only what I could call "jumpy vision" for the first few hours I'm awake, like if I focus on something it shakes/jumps slightly.  I also see auras around things when it is bright out, kind of like when you look at the sun....

[Hensley258]

Yup, that is exactly what I get too. Frankly it scares the **** out of me.

It makes me very nausiated too. My Psychiatrist has me on a combo of meds now that seems to be helping to control this symptom and my depression and anxiety.

(Just hope it keeps working)

My Psychiatrist told me that in rare cases people with very severe depression will experience these symptoms. He said it is because the area in the brain that controls mood is also very close to the Vestibular area of the brain that controls motion and balance.

In severe cases these lines get crossed in some (very few) depressed patients.
The anxiety seems to make it even worse.

You may want to try Klonopin. It has some properties that effect the supression of Vestibular disturbance in the brain. It has helped me.

Also some antidepressants in the Neurotenergic class can help too. I take Protriptilyne which has Neurotenergic properties and it seems to help with my vision stabilization. Not to mention my depression. Just take it in morning because it is very energizing.

[sunnyjim333]

You mentioned that your B12 level was low and you were taking supplements for it.  I had very similar symptoms a few yrs ago. (dizziness, balance problems, headaches, tingling in fingers, hard to breathe at times).  I went to about 4 Drs. incl. neurologist, pulmanologist and they couldn't find anything...they all thought it was anxiety since I have a 35yr history of major depressive/anxiety disorder. However, I am on excellent meds, have a great therapist when I need one and I knew that what I was feeling was not from anxiety.  My internist believed me and finally sent me to a hematologist who found that I had pernicious anemia (vitamin B12 deficiency)...the treatment is monthly B12 injections. Vitamin B12 supplements would have no effect. Anyway, you may want to have this checked out...it made all the difference for me.  Hope this helped.